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Husband offended

(66 Posts)
pancakes22 Tue 05-Mar-19 21:16:44

Husband singing three blind mice earlier to DD. I got the giggles as he got the tune wrong. He then refused to sing anymore to her. When I said to him that he overreacted he has said that he is really offended that I would laugh at him rather than with him and that he is really paranoid now and won't ever sing a tune he doesn't know.

I mean... come on. Seriously? AIBU that this is really petty? Or actually have I been a bit cruel and you think this is a genuine reason to be offended?

Belenus Tue 05-Mar-19 22:16:57

It sounds like you touched a nerve. People can be fine with a certain amount of criticism but not when you laugh at other things. As a child I was often told I couldn't sing and was mocked for it. Now I do sing in public but I didn't for over 30 years. So yes, I can be a bit touchy about criticism. Likewise with playing musical instruments in public - I can't play in public because of some ridiculous spat with my mother 35 years ago. Part of me knows full well I'm being ridiculous but part of me just has a real block about it.

If he's not generally like this I would allow him this one thing to be touchy about.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 22:17:47

If he never sings to his daughter again that's his decision alone.

Mmmhmmm Tue 05-Mar-19 22:17:54

My husband and I sing the wrong words and out of tune on I don't see what the big deal is. I try to hit high notes badly and shrilly until he says "Dear lord." In a really British way. 😉

marvellousnightforamooncup Tue 05-Mar-19 22:19:50

What kind of world are we living in if we can't take the piss out of our husbands anymore?

Passing4Human Tue 05-Mar-19 22:20:40

He said you laughed "at him rather than with him" and there's definitely a difference. He knows you and we don't so if he normally doesn't get offended easily by stuff then maybe he has a point. You made him feel self-conscious is all. A lot of folk are self-conscious about singing. I have a terrible singing voice but do my best with my DD. I'm a mimer when it comes to singing anywhere else.

PerfectionistProcrastinator Tue 05-Mar-19 22:24:19

My partner and I usually have zero embarrassment about anything when around each other...but I never sing in front of anyone, him included.

I don’t have a terrible singing voice, in fact I think I can hold a tune pretty well in comparison to most. But I feel so self conscious when I sing.

I probably wouldn’t have the same reaction, but I might be just as embarrassed inwardly.

GnomeDePlume Tue 05-Mar-19 22:24:50

Laughing at your DH was not a great way to start teaching kindness to your DD

junebirthdaygirl Tue 05-Mar-19 22:28:18

I'm not a great singer and my dh is. I love to sing. I would be upset if he laughed at me. Its tough going through school being a poor singer and someone may have laughed at him along the way. I feel sorry for him. I presume he doesn't laugh at your sensitive weaknesses. Apologise and let him enjoy his fun time with dd.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 22:30:48

It took me years to get over hearing a friend of my older brother saying to him “Can’t you do something about your sister’s voice?” 30 years to be precise.
Be kind.

adaline Tue 05-Mar-19 22:31:09

But @marvellousnightforamooncup it only works if both parties find it funny. Nothing wrong with taking the piss (jokingly) out of a loved one but everyone has things they're sensitive about.

Being someone's husband/wife doesn't mean you can take the piss out of them all the time with no consequences.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 22:34:58

Nothing wrong with taking the piss (jokingly) out of a loved one but everyone has things they're sensitive about.

Well if the OP wasn't already aware of her husband's super sensitivity she sure is now!

WisdomOfCrowds Tue 05-Mar-19 22:39:42

Send him this?

(seriously though...)

Nanny0gg Tue 05-Mar-19 22:44:38

You're always a 'snowflake' or a 'drama queen' or 'over-sensitive' when you object when someone hurts your feelings or doesn't find having the piss taken out of them funny.

Says more about the other person imo.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 22:46:11

If another child did this to your child at school, it would be bullying.

GummyGoddess Tue 05-Mar-19 22:46:46

If it was me I would just sing it wrong even louder. Especially if I had got the words amusingly wrong. I might be upset if I was told to shut up because I sound awful but it doesn't sound like you did that.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 22:52:04

You're a drama queen when your reaction is far more dramatic than the situation warrants.

miaCara Tue 05-Mar-19 22:53:12

Aww I feel a bit sad at the thought of a loving Daddy being laughed at while hes connecting with his little child.
I know hes probably being a bit dramatic but sometimes its the small things that wound you. A friend who was about size 4-6 refused to have her legs uncovered -always wore sturdy trousers. The reason? Because someone she respected once remarked on her 'footballers legs'. A lifetime of no nice dresses or skirts because of a throwaway remark.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 22:55:14

“You're a drama queen when your reaction is far more dramatic than the situation warrants.“
People are allowed to be sensitive about stuff. The proper response is “i’m sorry, love- I didn’t mean to upset you”. Because that’s what kind people do.

Bluestitch Tue 05-Mar-19 22:57:15

My partner gets very self conscious when doing anything 'performy' with the kids like reading aloud or singing. He does it because he wants to do things like that for them but it doesn't come easily to him and he'd be really upset if I mocked him.

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 22:58:05

Because that’s what kind people do.

people in glass houses...

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 23:00:41

I missed the bit where the OP’s dp layghed at her about something she was sensitive about....

Niveous Tue 05-Mar-19 23:02:17

I wasn't referring to the OP.

HappyLife21 Tue 05-Mar-19 23:03:07

I am a super confident person in most things, but there something about singing... lovely to do with my DD but would feel mortified and ashamed if someone laughed at me.

Lockheart Tue 05-Mar-19 23:03:09

I'm very self-conscious about singing or reading aloud, lots of things like that. If my partner laughed at me whilst I was doing it I'd be upset and certainly wouldn't do it within earshot of them again, if at all! Perhaps he's the same?

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Mar-19 23:05:37

“I wasn't referring to the OP.”

grin . If you think I was being unkind you must be the most hypersensitive person alive!

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