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AIBU?

to ask the midwife for another Help B screen?

89 replies

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:38

I am currently 28 weeks pregnant. I have health anxiety and have posted about this before. What happened was that my sister visited me for a week before Christmas, during which time she used my razor and my towel. (She often does this, even though I've asked her not to.) At the time of the visit, she disclosed to me that she has cheated on her husband with a (single) guy who travels the world for work and who she described as "a bit of a man-whore". She told me they had used a condom, but not for oral sex. She had also been making out with a friend who has HIV, though they didn't know he had it at the time. She's going through a bit of a mid-life crisis and has been getting drunk a lot and doing silly things.

Anyway, I got worried about HIV (on both of our behalves, although I realised the risk was very small for me), which I posted about here. I decided to ask DSis to have an HIV test and she did, eight weeks after exposure. It was negative.

Then I realised the bigger risk was actually the hepatitis B, which is transmitted much more easily and can definitely be transmitted by sharing items like razors and towels. Fuck knows, maybe she used my toothbrush too.

My dilemma is this: Do I get tested privately? This costs £300. DH would see this as we have shared accounts. I have promised DSis I wouldn't tell anyone about the cheating so would have to gloss over that.

Could I ask the midwife or GP for another blood screen? Would everyone who saw this (midwife, consultants, etc) in my maternity notes judge me for it and draw the conclusion that I had done illegal drugs or cheated on my husband while pregnant? Would they think I was ridiculous for asking, seeing as the risk is so small?

I'm so anxious, please go easy on me.

OP posts:

Report

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:41

Great, I fucked up the title. It's supposed to say Hep B, obviously...

OP posts:

Jackshouse · 05/03/2019 06:45

You can always ask. Are you getting support for your health anxiety?

Jackshouse · 05/03/2019 06:47

You can go to a sexual health clinic for a full screening and the don’t share info with your GP and other services if you don’t want them to.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:48

No, I'm of my anti-anxiety medication and on a waiting list for CBT. I'm really worried the midwife would think I was a bit crazy or think I'd been up to something dodgy and just made up a cover story about my sister and then everyone who saw my notes might ask me why I'd had the test again and if have to tell them. I'm so embarrassed.

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UterusUterusGhali · 05/03/2019 06:49

Nobody would judge you for it, particularly if you mention your health anxiety to them and maybe asked to be referred to the perinatal mental health team.
Have you told your midwife?

Jackshouse · 05/03/2019 06:50

You need to be honest about the state of your mental health with the midwife. She maybe able to refer you to a specialist mental health service.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:50

I'd be so embarrassed to go to an STI clinic heavily pregnant. And I'd have to go after work so I'd have to ask DH to pick up our child.

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UterusUterusGhali · 05/03/2019 06:51

Ah, x-post.

You must tell them, as you should with any medical condition.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:51

I've told them I have anxiety but like I said, I'm on a waiting list for CBT. Midwife wanted me to go back on medication but I don't want to.

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SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 06:53

My anxiety is usually related to work-stress and I have been given a slightly reduced workload so I honestly didn't think I needed any other help. Then this popped up in my head...

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HK20 · 05/03/2019 06:54

I think you should tell your husband - it's his baby too, then go to the STI clinic and get tested for peace of mind.

I know you don't want to breach your sisters trust but sometimes you need to do what's right - she is the one who's created this situation and I'm sure your husband wouldn't bring it up with her.

Whereareyouspot · 05/03/2019 06:55

You won’t have caught hep B
The risk from a shared razor is almost non existent. From a towel it is zero.

And very likely when your dsis had an HIV test they would have tested for Hep B too as it’s called a blood borne virus screen and they do it all as one

Get her to check with whatever clinic she used if they checked for hep B too.

Did she use your razor and not tell you and then left it for you to use? That’s pretty grim of her anyway!

If by some chance she hasn’t had a hep B done then I’d tell your midwife what your concerns are and she can either reassure you or retest you. Don’t pay private it’s not needed honestly.

Iggly · 05/03/2019 06:59

The biggest issue to tackle is your anxiety.

When your baby arrives, you’ll be faced with all sorts as it’s all a bit new.

Why don’t you want to be on medication?

Divgirl2 · 05/03/2019 07:04

Go to an STI clinic, no one will judge you, it's absolutely not worth paying for. Or ask your midwife to test you again, they take bloods anyway so it's just an extra vial.

For what it's worth there is no risk of you having Hep B from sharing a towel, and unless she used the razor, cut herself, then you used the razor and cut yourself there's no risk of you catching Hep B either. When she had her HIV test they will have inevitably tested for Hep B too, if she went to an STI clinic.

I think your money would be better spent on counselling. This level of anxiety isn't normal and it sounds like you're unravelling a little. Speak to your midwife or your GP urgently.

Birdsgottafly · 05/03/2019 07:08

I remember your post.

I was one of the posters that set you and a few people straight on HIV, because your ignorance was astounding.

Your MW wants you back on meds.

You shouldn't put your child through what you have put your DSis through, because of your anxiety.

A relative has a health anxiety and she was regularly at the hospital with her child. Her relationship broke down and she has shared residency. Thankfully SS stepped in, on the say so of the other Parent and she had to get help, before the effect on her child inhibited his behaviour.

I look after a child with Heb B and stay at their house, who told you that Heb B can be caught from towels? I asked my consultant if I was at risk in any way, I change nappies, mop up sick etc. I was told that I wasn't.

Do you mean Hep C? There has to be blood present and you also have to cut yourself.

Either way, you need to take your MWs advice.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 07:23

@Birdsgottafly

Thanks for making me feel like a fucking nutcase. I've got a child and I've never "put them through" anything as a result of this anxiety, thanks. And I'm not sure what it was I put my DSis through, except prompt her to get tested. I don't think that was such an awful thing to do. The MW advice was when I was going through a lot at work, which I'm not at the moment.

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HK20 · 05/03/2019 07:28

@SinkerSailor ignore @Birdsgottafly. That post was rude and ignorant and insensitive and entirely unreasonable!

You manage your anxiety in whatever way works best for you. You haven't put your DSis 'through' anything and you'll be a fantastic mom x

SoyDora · 05/03/2019 07:30

You may not be going through a lot at work at the moment but your anxiety is still obviously very present, as evidenced by this thread.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 07:35

@HK20 Thank you.

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calpop · 05/03/2019 07:44

i think youre talking about HepC? Either way, you are worrying unecessary. I remember having a similar freak out when i was pregnant about toxoplasmosis and paid for a completely unecessary test. Try to relax.

SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 07:46

@calpop

Maybe I'm getting my Heps mixed up, but Hep B is the one they test for in pregnancy, hence the focus on that.

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Etino · 05/03/2019 07:50

Are you thinking of Strep B?
Do try and reframe this as an health anxiety issue rather than health risk.

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SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 08:06

Are you thinking of Strep B?

No. And the NHS website (and others) do actually state that hep B can be transmitted through sharing personal items like razors. I didn't pull this out of the sky, like some people seem to think.

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SinkerSailor · 05/03/2019 08:12

Get her to check with whatever clinic she used if they checked for hep B too.

Not sure how to bring this up without potentially upsetting her, but maybe I should. I never told her I was worried about myself, I only said I thought she should get tested for her own sake. She was actually glad I pushed her to do it.

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JamPasty · 05/03/2019 08:33

Hugs OP - health anxiety is horrible. I would suggest asking for a retest for your peace of mind - I very much doubt you have caught anything though. Chat with your midwife about the pros and cons of going back on the meds - some of them are pregnancy safe I think.

Other posters - yes she does mean hepatitis B, which is blood-borne.

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