My sister asked me to be Bridesmaid last year and we fell pregnant before they announced the date. Fast forward 9 months and little one is here and the wedding is in two weeks. Little one will be 6 weeks old.
With regard to dresses my sister had myself and the other Bridesmaid buy a dress online last summer. We tried one that I told her I didn't like as I had ordered the biggest size available and at 16 weeks pregnant felt it didn't fit, and therefore felt that with post baby belly the dress wouldn't fit. I suggested I wait until baby arrived and then find a dress that fit her colour scheme and fit my post baby belly, suggesting that both of us bridesmaids wait. She wanted to ensure that the other Bridesmaid and I were in the same dresses so we brought matching ones online last summer- me not having a clue whether it would fit.
The dress is strapless, I am breastfeeding and there isn't the material to get it taken out. I have shopped around and found alternatives to see whether she will be happy with me being Bridesmaid in any of the dresses that do fit - same floor length design, same colour etc. I have spent a fortune on trying to find a dress to suit and feel like I was more than reasonable when I was honest about the first dress and said I didn't know what post baby body would be like.
I messaged her this evening with pictures of the dresses and she is going to decide on the day whether I am in fact Bridesmaid or not. She further then asked that my partner and baby do not attend the ceremony and speeches but wait in the bar! This has infuriated me, as we have said all along my partner would be at the back ready to exit should little one make so much as a peep.....to now say that they aren't allowed to attend has really upset me. I feel like I should add we are travelling 300+ miles with a newborn and spending a fortune on hotel accommodation for it. I feel like she is excluding half my new little family from the wedding. I get it is her day and they don't want it ruined by a baby crying...but I am so upset and am seriously wondering whether it is worth the hassle of my little family travelling all that way!
Also there is more chance of my 7 month old nephew crying than my sleepy newborn....
Furthermore if we go all that way and she doesn't want me as Bridesmaid then I am inclined to spend the ceremony and speeches with my partner and baby rather than on my own in the audience. I'm saying this as a sleep deprived new mum, I do recognise it is my sister's wedding (and chances are I would stay for the ceremony).
I know an element of my upset will be hormones, but I also feel I have been reasonable throughout this whole fiasco. Am I being completely unreasonable to be contemplating not going? The whole saga so far has caused enough upset in the family, and I don't think it would be fair on my Mum who has been in the middle of this all, for me not to go...but I am considering it right now!
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AIBU?
AIBU to not want to go to sister's wedding?
109 replies
Toxicity1984 · 04/03/2019 23:58
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