I've got a friend I don't see in RL due to us now living a long way apart, but we do chat often on Facebook.
The problem is she's extremely high volume with contact. I care about her of course, but she's very needy.
she spends alot of the time we talk moaning about others or complaining about how tired she is (we are both pregnant, I'm 33 weeks and she is 8) and whilst I obviously can obviously empathise I don't want to be chatting about it every day listening to a rundown of what she's had for eat today or partaking in "bitching" sessions about people who have done me no wrong.
I've been hugely supportive toward her for the past 18 months as she's been TTC and battling some insecurity issues regarding her partners ex, which she does tell me she appreciates so it's not as though I haven't been a good friend and counselled her to the detriment of my own free time, constantly.
I do find the volume of contact suffocating as I'm an introvert who enjoys peace and don't like being at people's beck and call with my phone pinging all day every day.
I did put my feelings secondary to her desire to chat daily which was my first mistake as now i feel as though it's now expected of me.
I've decided to put my self first (for once - a rarity for me) and stop responding straight away sometimes leaving a day or so between replies and not opening the messages as soon as they arrive, I've told her previously that sometimes I like to enjoy my own peace and quiet and stay off my phone to enjoy family time so it's not as though she'd be inclined to assume I'm being off with her personally.
Shortly after me implementing the change she has started posting quotes about "so called friends" acting differently and changing when something new is coming (I presume she's referring to unborn DD who's almost due) then some catty memes about cutting people off when they start acting differently which I assume are directed towards myself due to the timing.
Am I being unreasonable or paranoid to think she's acting like a bit of a tit?
I've spent 18 months being there for her and listening to her every thought, rant, concern, headache, insecurity issues, jealousy, struggles of being a step mum, when her partner gets on her nerves.
Not once have I ever offloaded anything or my own onto her, not that there hasn't been alot of crap going on behind the scenes on my end.
Surely I'm entitled to unwind and relax a bit in the last stretch of my own pregnancy or does slowing down the volume of contact make me a shit friend?
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AIBU?
AIBU and a shit friend, or is she BU and a shit friend?
58 replies
Februaryblooms · 04/03/2019 22:39
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