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Ex wants me to screw with sleep pattern so he gets visitation?

(229 Posts)
Badidas5 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:27:01

Separated from ex whilst I was pregnant. I live about 50 minutes away from him now. He was abusive emotionally towards me and I left. We have a son together and he obviously wants to see his son. He never gets home from work before 5. My son is now in a routine (he's 5 months old) and is always asleep between 7 and 8. I'm trying to explain that this is the pattern Our son is in naturally, and I've tried explaining this. He's just reached a point where he does the same thing every night. It's beneficial for me and a pattern that suits both of us.

He wants me to change his whole pattern so he gets longer with him on a weekday. I've said no, it's not beneficial to our son. I'm already travelling almost an hour there and about hour back for a short period of time so he can see him.

I'm close to just saying no and only doing weekend contact. He wants 2 evenings on a weekday and it just doesn't work. I've changed my working hours drastically to suit my son's needs. Taken a significant pay decrease so I can be there to pick him up and take him to nursery every day. He just says 'I finish at 5 sorry' - that's it.

What am I to do? AIBU? Should I really consider changing my son's whole routine

Thelieswetelltoourselves Sun 24-Mar-19 09:32:29

Listen to your solicitors. Do not allow contact now without proper court processes. Let cafcass investigate risks and welfare of your child and judge decide.

If you allow contact you are saying that despite what you know now you are satisfied that's an acceptable risk to your child.

Let him take you to court.

Jokie Sun 24-Mar-19 09:37:46

You need to listen to what SS and your lawyer is saying. Block him and let him take you to court. If someone impartial and with extensive experience can see how negative he is and what damage he is doing to you, then you need to trust them.

rainbowstardrops Sun 24-Mar-19 09:46:49

So, he's not paying any maintenance towards his son and yet he's demanding that YOU travel to HIM so that he can see his son??? Have I got that right?
I'd think I'd be using the words you can fuck right off sunbeam
What a tosser angry

Inliverpool1 Sun 24-Mar-19 09:50:16

rainbowstardrops Sums it up nicely.
No is a complete sentence and do block him. You’ll feel the weight of the world lift off your shoulders

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