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Families if only we could pick them.

(1 Post)
Porky54 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:38:48

So I posted a message a while ago saying my family declined my invite to my wedding... I’m over that but my brother rang tonight to say my Aunt (late mother’s sister) is not coming because my dad won’t lay her ashes to rest. She has been banging on for 3 years my dad is stopping her from grieving and made her drepression come on. Despite my mother saying she wanted to stay at home. My aunt has been to see all kinds of psychics who told her my mother wants to be scattered. It has caused a huge rift in the family - me I’m not bothered what happens to my mums ashes sounds harsh but I know she’s not there. My father promised her when she was very ill that he wouldn’t leave her and he didn’t stayed day and night at the hospice for two weeks. He is of the mindset that he won’t leave her now and she is to stay on the mantle!! My family is very much like a bad carry on movie crossed with eastenders. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle along with my brother. But I just feel like if in the two years lead up to her dying they sat with her and the conversation of what she wanted we wouldn’t be in this situation. I had the conversation with my mum albeit very difficult but we knew it was something that had to done even down to the songs, readings and flowers at her funeral. When my father passes (which I hope isn’t for a wee while yet, I can’t cope with this drama again) I think that should be the time to deal with mothers ashes.
I give up lately with my family I really do. Like to tell them all to 0121 do 1 and sort it out. Any advice would be helpful anyone been in a similar situation?? Ps both aunt and father are stubborn both think they have the right to choose you couldnt have a conversation with either about it without them shouting and screaming throwing their weight around because they both know best and if she wants to scatter he will want to keep and vice versa, they never really got on.
I did think about buying a similar box filling it with something that resembles ashes(don’t know what that would be 🤦🏻‍♀️) and giving it to the aunt just to shut her up... is that morally wrong?
Oh my days... my life just gets more and more messed up daily. Raghhhhhhhh

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