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Replace car?

(25 Posts)
cleomummy Mon 04-Mar-19 20:36:00

We have arrived back from holiday to find our house has been broken into, ransacked and my dh car has gone. It looks like they specifically wanted the car as they left other valuables and it's pretty much all they took. It's an expensive and desirable car which dh says is one of the most stolen cars in the uk.

We are both shaken up but I am more concerned about the invasion of privacy, the fact our dcs witnessed it afterwards and feel uneasy about staying in the house now. Dh seems more upset by the car going.

We ve just had a massive argument as I don't want dh to replace the car with the same one. It's expensive, we could actually do with getting a cheaper one and pocketing the money. But mostly I just don't want to draw attention to ourselves again and risk the same thing happening again. Possibly the same people coming back, this time. When we or the dcs are in, at night asleep. I just don't think it's worth the risk. Dh agreed with this initially and was joking with people he ll just get a bland car rather than one which draws attention to us. Now suddenly when talking about getting another car he's changed his mind and is shouting at me. He's taking all his frustration out on me, playing the blame game. Saying he works hard and earns x (he is the only one who works) and it's the only thing he enjoys spending his money on and makes a stressful job worthwhile. He wants the car and will have it. He will get it on finance out 'his' wages otherwise.

Who's right? I feel like he's acting like a child abc putting our family at risk for a car. He's acting like it's my fault he doesn't have the car.

Insomnibrat Mon 04-Mar-19 20:38:48


QuestionableMouse Mon 04-Mar-19 20:40:45

Wow, what a horrible thing to happen. I'm sorry.

I wouldn't rush to replace the car with the same model, because like you said you're running the risk of it happened again. There are so many nice cars out there that you don't need a prestige brand to get something good.

cleomummy Mon 04-Mar-19 21:05:10

Questionable- we need to make a decision soon as we can't do without one car for long. I want him to get something completely bland which draws no attention.

userxx Mon 04-Mar-19 21:08:19

I'm with your husband I'm afraid, might be a stupid move but I work hard and enjoy driving a nice car, it's one of my life's luxuries.

MereDintofPandiculation Mon 04-Mar-19 21:11:10

Could you up the security - add a steering wheel lock, and one of those posts that are locked in a vertical position in front of the car so it can't be driven away, put a label in the window saying it's location-tracked. - make it too much hassle to steal. . Convince DH that buying extra protection for his cherished pet is as much fun as buying the pet itself.

Or leave a dirty nappy on the driver's seat.

cleomummy Mon 04-Mar-19 21:14:24

Yes his exact words and it's like letting them win. But I feel it's just asking for trouble, they wait for you to replace it and do it again. They know the house, know how to get in/out well. I feel like I wouldn't be able to sleep easy at night knowing that car is a potential target and this time it might be when we are in, at night with the kids in the house. Plus, we are on the third floor, dcs in second so it makes we worried they would reach dcs first and it's pretty silent on our floor and we wouldn't hear. We can have other nice things in our life which show we ve worked hard.

Dh is being very dramatic saying he's not going to be allowed anything nice ever again!

cleomummy Mon 04-Mar-19 21:21:43

We are getting cctv and an alarm ASAP. Would a steering lock really be that much of a deterrent? The post is a good idea.

CallipygianFancier Mon 04-Mar-19 21:25:22

I think you both have a point.

It would be sensible to seriously consider the risk of them just coming straight back in a few weeks on the basis you'll replace it and they get another one without having to go looking too hard.

At the same time, no, why should you have to totally go against what you want to do/have thanks to thieving scumbags? You could get the car you want again, and beef up security to stop them going after it this time.

In your place, I'd probably find something different that still appeals, and get extra security.

That's what I did when I was burgled a while back, I replaced the stuff taken with equivalent but different things (new versions of certain things available etc), and also fitted CCTV, better security door and so on.

Helpmedecide123 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:25:26

This happened to us OP. X5 was nicked and we replaced it with an SMax Vignale as we didn't want to risk it happening again. We've been astounded by the quality of the Vignale - don't miss the X5 at all. The best bit is it looks like a bog standard S Max from the outside but it's fantastic inside and the engine etc is brilliant. I left it unlocked on the street overnight by mistake one night (we live in central London) and it was still there the next morning. Score.

Gth1234 Tue 05-Mar-19 09:12:06

If you are spending your own money, you don't need a flash motor. You might decide to get one, but it's not a necessity at all.

Gth1234 Tue 05-Mar-19 09:12:58

And why is the rule that the man has the big car, and the woman has the runabout?

userxx Tue 05-Mar-19 12:46:05

@Gth1234 - it isn't the rule is it? Her husband likes his cars and works hard so why shouldn't he treat himself.

Lifecraft Tue 05-Mar-19 13:17:59

I thieves had broken in to steal your dream Neff induction hob range cooker that you just loved, would you replace it with another because you like having it and you can afford it, or would you listen to your husband who was saying "it was a ridiculous luxury anyway, we'll just get a basic cooker that will be perfectly adequate and pocket the difference on the insurance payout?"

DeRigueurMortis Tue 05-Mar-19 15:10:38

I'm with Lifecraft I'm afraid OP.

I do have sympathy with your position having suffered a break in myself (in my case we were actually sleeping upstairs when were were raided which was very frightening), however ultimately I decided I didn't want my choices/lifestyle to be restricted by someone else's criminal activity and to a degree my own fear.

FWIW the route we went down was to get in an independent security consultant. The independent bit being important as they aren't trying to sell to a specific solution.

They did an inspection of the house and provided a detailed report with recommendations (all prioritised with approx pricing to enable us to budget in such a way as to maximise the value of any expenditure).

What surprised me most was what was considered the most important wasn't always the most expensive solutions. We had sash windows at the time and the biggest recommendation was upgrading the window locks.

Things like outside lighting, sight lines re: cutting back hedges, ensuring CCTV isn't just there but is visibly so (plus a secondary hidden camera in case the primary was disabled), where we stored keys etc were things we'd thought less about (or not at all) than we should.

It wasn't cheap to get the report but it was worth the money - not just for peace of mind but also because I think we got more effective use from our budget on the security upgrades we made by spending it more wisely.

CallipygianFancier Tue 05-Mar-19 17:43:27

FWIW the route we went down was to get in an independent security consultant. The independent bit being important as they aren't trying to sell to a specific solution.

That's good advice, my parents did the same when upgrading their security a few years ago (they travel more now they're retired, and we're concerned about leaving the house empty).

The consultant helped them choose better CCTV for the price and so on, certainly seemed worth it. Also advice I wouldn't have previously thought of, such as an always on security light is better than a motion detection one as a deterrent.

DeRigueurMortis Tue 05-Mar-19 19:39:00

Call that's exactly the type of advice we got also.

I noted the OP said they are going to get CCTV and an alarm but these (in our case) were far lower down the recommendations list than we anticipated.

Certainly re: a standard alarm the report basically said that they are very expensive, can be very intrusive wrt installation, no-one responds to them going off and frankly the key is stopping people targeting your house in the first place rather than catching them in the act (same with CCTV to a degree also).

Rather we were advised as I said about sight lines, access points, lighting and bumping the security on vulnerable access points (in some cases getting specific alarms for those doors/windows which given wireless tech now with apps that link to your phone/iPad can be very easy to fit and far cheaper than a standard house alarm).

Vulpine Tue 05-Mar-19 19:42:55

I'm with you. Conspicuous displays of wealth in these divided times are not always a good idea, but then i'm not into fancy cars.

cleomummy Tue 05-Mar-19 19:46:52

Life craft- that's different. The cooker is in the house and not on full view on the drive attracting attention and making us a target. We have been told that the types of car like ours are stolen to order.

CallipygianFancier Tue 05-Mar-19 19:50:43

Is is a performance Audi/VW by any chance?

DeRigueurMortis Tue 05-Mar-19 20:01:11

No, it's not on show OP but I think the point that was being made was that if what had been stolen was important to you, what compromises would you make?

It's not wrong to have nice things.

It's also awful not to feel secure - I really get that (having woken up at 4am hearing people in my home I promise I really do).

Just whilst I remember - bollards.

Can be good as a deterrent but the big downfall is they are a PITA on an everyday basis so people stop using them and/or for ease of use keep the bollard key with their car keys - which is useless unless thieves are using tech related to keyless entry to steal the car as it renders manual bollards pointless if they've stolen your keys.

We did fit bollards - sorry they were expensive, but we didn't fit a full alarm in the end which would have cost more - with hydraulics that popped out of the ground and had a hidden button by the front door to activate, plus a phone app so you could pull into the drive and press a button on the app to "close" the bollards behind the cars.

rslsys Tue 05-Mar-19 20:03:14

You may find that the insurance company insist on a tracker on the replacement car.

cleomummy Fri 08-Mar-19 17:44:49

Well now it's even more of a dilemma, the police think they have found dh s car. We have no more information than that.

So we might get it back. I still feel uneasy about sleeping in the house with it on the side drive and that they will Simply try and steal it again, this time with us and the dcs in the house. I feel like I will live my life on tenterhooks waiting for it to happen. Plus worried about how much dh s insurance is going to shoot up by,

We have had quotes for alarm, possible cctv, will be getting steering lock and outside sensor light installed overlooking drive. Securing doors which are weak points and possibly removable post on drive too. But don't know if I want to spend all that money just to secure a car, when we could just get a sensible one and save it all.

cleomummy Fri 08-Mar-19 17:45:57

Thanks for suggestions of bollards, great idea.

ZippyBungleandGeorge Fri 08-Mar-19 17:50:04

Upping the security isn't just about the car though, it will give you general peace of mind, I'd also consider a safe you keep your keys (and other valuables) in. I've got to admit I'd take your DHs stance, don't let them win, just make it more hassle than it is worth to do it again.

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