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Aibu about DH erectile dysfunction

(26 Posts)
CheckMatte Mon 04-Mar-19 20:25:36

Following on from my previous thread, I spoke to DH again (second time) about his possible ED.
He point blank refuses to accept he has any issue, he says it was just the 'one' time his penis deflated which we both know it's happened many of times before.
Now I've mentioned he should go to the doctors for a blood test and see if there's any other investigations to be done but DH has just said it's not a problem for him he thinks i have a problem with it.
Should I just drop this whole thing?

MiniCooperLover Mon 04-Mar-19 20:26:37

Ask him if he's willing to drop sex completely. Then yes ...

Butterymuffin Mon 04-Mar-19 20:28:13

Would he agree to buy Viagra online now you can do that without a prescription, and try it?

Merryoldgoat Mon 04-Mar-19 20:28:45

Does he watch a lot of porn?

Merryoldgoat Mon 04-Mar-19 20:29:05

I’d put money on a porn habit.

kaytee87 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:31:12

What does he say when you point out that's it's happened many times before?

How old is he? Any weight / health issues? Is he a smoker / drinker? Watch porn?

CheckMatte Mon 04-Mar-19 20:33:15

Yes I suppose he could try viagra but that wouldn't be dealing with the actual issue.
No I don't think he watches porn. I mean I don't know 100% but I don't think so.

SlackerMum1 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:35:06

Erections are fundamentally about circulation - so yes you should encourage him to see a GP as it’s can be the first sign of a long term health condition and should be treated.

CheckMatte Mon 04-Mar-19 20:35:13

The thing is he lost his virginity to me 9 years ago, I've had a handful of partners before him.
Sorry if this is TMI but I did notice he wouldn't get rock hard like my previous partners but it wasn't floppy either.
I suppose over the years I've just thought I need to raise this now and I did a couple of weeks ago

Blackteadrinker77 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:37:50

It's a circulation problem, tell him it's like us all. Our blood flow slows and there are many ways to help speed it up

ginandbearit Mon 04-Mar-19 20:48:48

Is he overweight , drink lots of beer and or lots of white refined carbohydrate ? He does need a check up for early type 2 diabetes as this can be an early warning sign .

CheckMatte Mon 04-Mar-19 20:50:38

He's not over weight, and doesn't drink either, only if we're out he may have a beer.
God it's so hard to get through to him he's just so defensive when it comes to this.
I don't think he will understand to be honest

Aquamarine1029 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:51:23

What about ordering one of those testosterone tests that you do at home and then send the sample away for the results? Would be be willing to start there? It's unacceptable for him to fob you off like this.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:52:16

How old is he?

JRMisOdious Mon 04-Mar-19 20:53:31

Has he been checked for diabetes?

JRMisOdious Mon 04-Mar-19 20:54:47

Sorry, meant also to say you don’t have to be overweight to develop it.
Could also be a vascular problem. Would urge him to visit GP.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Mon 04-Mar-19 20:55:47

He could actually have a heart condition, poor circulation, blood pressure problems, diabetes but no ! As usual - the default answer is a porn habit. FFS

John470322 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:00:01

@Aquamarine1029
What about ordering one of those testosterone tests that you do at home and then send the sample away for the results? Would be be willing to start there? It's unacceptable for him to fob you off like this.
Can you get these tests? Where from?
I'm starting to worry that I no longer get properly hard, bad for me and my wife. I've put it down to loads of things like stress, age (I'm 71) drinking too much because of stress but a test might give me a clear idea of what I need to do.
I should have name changed for this but I'm not sure how to do that

CheckMatte Mon 04-Mar-19 21:01:08

He's 29.
Yes it's ridiculous for him to fob me off but it's his ego I suppose and he genuinely does not think he has anything wrong.

MrsTeaspoon Mon 04-Mar-19 21:03:26

He may have phimosis. Has he explained why he doesn’t want to go to gp? It definitely shouldn’t be swept under the rug, the sexual side of any relationship needs to be pleasing and not worrying both partners. I hope if you try talking again he’ll listen without getting defensive.

smartcarnotsosmartdriver Mon 04-Mar-19 21:03:30

My DH has this issue for a while and it was stress related. He got a new job and we were in a more secure position and he was right back on form.

missyB1 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:04:18

He’s in denial. He insists it’s just a problem for you? Ok tell him actually yes it is, and if it’s a problem for you then it’s a problem for the relationship. So that means it needs addressing doesn’t it?
He needs to understand it’s not about blame and that you would like to support him in seeking help with this.

aphrodite219 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:08:17

on the same page as you, my dp is 20 and sometimes just cant get it up or keep it up, so frustrating. also has to wait 24 hours between sex cause otherwise wont get hard. I totally get you, everytime I try to broach going to gp it just gets ignored!

Aquamarine1029 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:29:03

@John470322

Medichecks.com. There are other companies, as well.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:31:09

He needs to know in very clear language that if he refuses to address this problem, it will ruin your marriage, because it will. I seriously doubt you want to live the rest of your life without intimacy with your husband.

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