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Or do you not leave kids unattended at a birthday party?

(1000 Posts)
Dumbodog Mon 04-Mar-19 19:01:11

Unless you've discussed it with the host beforehand?

DS 4th birthday party at a soft play on Saturday. 12 invited, mix of friends from nursery and friends from our street. However parents were free to bring siblings and pay normal entry fee for them. All fine.

The eldest of one of the mum's from nursery (her younger sibling was invited) came running over to me crying about 20 mins in to the party and tells me her mum told her to come to me if she needed anything. I continued looking for her mum and she then tells me that mummy has gone to the shops. I wasn't too bothered at that point, thought she perhaps needed something urgently although still should have let me know. Her DD was fine and went back off to play with her sister.

Half an hour later she still wasn't back and the invited kids were going into the party room for food. Her eldest DD was crying because she couldn't come in and she was now being left in the play area unsupervised. I let the staff know the situation at this point. I found the mum's RSVP text and tried calling her (not friendly with her other than to say hello to at nursery) and there was no answer. I tried on and off for the next hour!

The party came to an end and she still wasn't back and still wasn't returning my call. The staff said they could keep the kids but would have to call the police. I thought this was the best scenario as I obviously couldn't take them with me, and god forbid if anything had happened to their mum then at least the police would find out.

I received a call from the mum about half an hour after I got home and she was shouting and bawling at me! She couldn't believe I over reacted so much and just left her kids as she'd only gone to get her hair done. Apparently I should've known she would be back. She was livid the police had been called and they gave her a talking to about leaving the kids without telling anyone and she was lucky social services hadn't been called. But again, apparently I should've known she'd be back and I could've at least taken the kids home with me instead of "showing her up" like that. She said she thought others would also leave their kids, as if I was a bloody babysitter! She hung up on me when I tried to tell her that how could I possibly know she'd have been back when I didn't even know she'd gone until her kid told me. What if something happened to her? Or the kids while she was gone? What if she just never came back? She told me I was batshit and hung up grin

So, AIBU or does she deserve a cheeky fucker award?!

jarhead123 Mon 04-Mar-19 19:04:07

I don't think I could have left the kids there BUT also you owe this woman nothing, she was being VERY cheeky!

MyDcAreMarvel Mon 04-Mar-19 19:04:10

Why didn’t you let the sibling come in and share the food or just her siblings food if plated up. I would never leave a child alone to prove a point even though the mother was wrong.
Neither of you come across well.

Natsku Mon 04-Mar-19 19:06:07

Ok wow that is a cheeky fucker! So she didn't even bother to get back before the party time ended?!

Figgygal Mon 04-Mar-19 19:06:17

She was completely out of order but you should have let the unattended child in with your group for food and I wouldn't have left them there either

Glad the police have given her a talking to

PotteringAlong Mon 04-Mar-19 19:06:30

I can’t believe she left them, but I can’t believe you did either

Justonemorepancake Mon 04-Mar-19 19:07:12

She was being a CF but my god, I can't believe you left the kids there with the police on their way! They must have been terrified!

Namechangeforthiscancershit Mon 04-Mar-19 19:08:39

Oh I couldn’t have left her DD all on her own. And knowing the police were going to be called. How old is the girl?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 04-Mar-19 19:08:47

I keep writing a reply but I've realised for once in my life I'm speechless.

ChodeofChodeHall Mon 04-Mar-19 19:09:28

I can't believe you left the kids there, and let the police contact the mum!! shock

Dumbodog Mon 04-Mar-19 19:10:15

It wasn't up to me to not let them in the room, that was down to staff. Party guests only. I also couldn't stay with the kids as I had my 6 month old to pick up from my mum after the party and I was already late! There was no way I was taking home someone else's kids, anything could have happened.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 04-Mar-19 19:10:19

However. You could have brought the little girl into the party. I personally couldn't have left her crying in the foyer.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Mon 04-Mar-19 19:10:40

The party room was completely at capacity?

Namechangeforthiscancershit Mon 04-Mar-19 19:11:32

There was no way I was taking home someone else's kids, anything could have happened

No but you could have waited with them. Your mum would have understood wouldn’t she?

drspouse Mon 04-Mar-19 19:11:38

You often can't bring extra children into a party room at a soft play but I'm also a bit shock at leaving them at the venue when you left!
But yes she WB massively U.

ibblebibbledibble Mon 04-Mar-19 19:12:20

Could your mum not have looked after the baby a little longer? Did you wait at all for the mum to show up? I’d have struggled to leave two small children alone.
But yes she is a massive CF

pudcat Mon 04-Mar-19 19:12:35

Why didn't you just wait for a little while with the children til she turned up?

Justonemorepancake Mon 04-Mar-19 19:13:07

You're paying for the party. You tell the staff this girl can't be left on her own and you let her into the party room. Then, if you have to leave (you didn't. It was an emergency. Your 6mo would have been ok with her GP for a while longer under the circumstances) you make sure another parent looks after the kids left there. You don't just leave them there waiting for the cops. Jesus.

OnlyFoolsnMothers Mon 04-Mar-19 19:14:19

I wouldn’t have left the eldest out of food but I prob would have had to leave the children there if I categorically had to go (I’d wait round as long as I could)- no way would I take someone else’s kids home with me if I wasn’t firm friends with the parent/s

donquixotedelamancha Mon 04-Mar-19 19:14:28

I can't believe you left the kids there with the police on their way!


The woman abandoned her kids at a soft play- she didn't just assume her 4yo was ok at the party, she left another one in the soft play itself.

Reporting to the authorities was exactly the right call. This needed recording and the mum needed speaking to. Enabling this behaviour by taking the kids home would be irresponsible.

Drogosnextwife Mon 04-Mar-19 19:15:02

She could have come in and shared her sisters food. I would have phoned my mum to let her know the situation and that I would be a bit later. The mother was being ridiculously unreasonable, but I can't believe you were that heartless. Hardly the little girls fault her mother pissed off and left her.

SpiritedLondon Mon 04-Mar-19 19:15:15

I don’t think any parent I’ve come across would leave 4 year olds in a soft play unattended but for that type of party you really need to make it obvious that they need to stay ( “ The venue have advised me that for safety reasons each child should be accompanied by an adult” or words to that effect) I do find it a bit cold though that you excluded the sibling from the party room and then left them there after the party. I would have been reaaaally pissed off but I wouldn’t have left them.

Witchtower Mon 04-Mar-19 19:16:21

She never should have left her kids without telling you. BUT I would have brought them home with me or waited. You tried to teach mum a lesson but it’s actusklu the kids that were hurt the most. I never would have left them alone. Poor children must have been so distressed, then to make matters worse the police were involved.

Brainfogmcfogface Mon 04-Mar-19 19:16:40

I’m assuming your softplay is like my local one, they’re super strict on numbers and they won’t let anyone in the party room who isn’t on the list (my friend had trouble with this last year when siblings showed up and they couldn’t go in)
BUT as others have said whilst I don’t think yabu to be angry, and she’s incredibly irresponsible for leaving them without asking you, I agree you shouldn’t have left them. I’d have stayed and given her a piece of my mind!

Dumbodog Mon 04-Mar-19 19:17:01

My mum had work so no, I couldn't have waited any longer. I felt for the kids but their mum should have had the decency to return my calls at least.

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