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I don’t like my wedding ring

(50 Posts)
TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 18:42:47

Me and dp are getting married in July. We aren’t having a big wedding, literally just us and a few friends. We just want to be married. Anyway, we bought my ring about a month ago. At the time I loved it and because it was cheap (£100) I thought I was doing the right thing.

Now I’m massively regretting it and can’t really afford a new one!

To make matters worse, the way my engagement ring is I can’t get a wedding ring to fit it plus if wojt look right. So I wanted a vintage style ring to make up for it 😩😩

Holidayshopping Mon 04-Mar-19 18:44:20

Can’t you return it to the shop or sell it on eBay/to a jeweller and buy a second hand vintage one with the money?

Pepperwand Mon 04-Mar-19 18:47:03

I wasn't that taken with my wedding ring at first and it was also cheap (£120) but I think once you're married they do take on more symbolic meaning. Personally I like looking at it and remembering my wedding day, it was the ring put on my finger at that time and symbolises my marriage as well as having happy wedding day memories attached to it.
That said, if you really hate it you can always change it when you're able to afford to. There are no rules saying you can't!

Amibeingnaive Mon 04-Mar-19 18:48:02

Hmmm. You could keep it for the wedding then change when you could afford it?

But then would that not be your 'wedding ring' because it wasn't the one you made your vows with? I might feel funny about that.

If you really don't like it, you might just have to shoulder the expense and change it - it's something you'll wear every day for a very long time - mine is the only thing I wear that I never take off (I sometimes take off my engagement ring because it's quite a big stone and can catch on bedding - it's a hard life)

Can we see a picture?

KanielOutis Mon 04-Mar-19 18:49:00

If you don't like it then buy another one. I didn't like the first ring I bought and exchanged it for another. It is one piece of jewellery you will wear forever. It has to be right.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain Mon 04-Mar-19 18:51:55

Seconding the request for a picture!

Having said that, if you don’t like it it’s an easy thing to change given you haven’t actually got married yet and there’s no attachment to it being the ring you exchanged vows with.

I wouldn’t get too hung up on it needing to fit round your engagement ring- I went for a plain band which the jeweller said didn’t complement my sparkly engagement ring, but I’m so glad I got something traditional that looks good on its own.

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 18:52:44

It does mean a lot to me, it’s Whitby jet which is the same as my engagement ring and numerous other jewellery I own. We go Whitby a few times a year and we call it our second home. H2b had his wedding ring made with Whitby jet inside it.

Ignore my gross hands 😂😩

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 18:53:10

Opps didn’t post

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain Mon 04-Mar-19 18:53:30

Also- plain bands aren’t expensive. Mine is platinum and was £160ish, and my sister’s is yellow gold and was about £100, both from naice jewellers.

Banhaha Mon 04-Mar-19 18:55:07

Oh it's lovely! But yes if you don't like it it might be best to try and change it now if that's at all possible.

LadyMonicaBaddingham Mon 04-Mar-19 18:56:24

My wedding ring cost less than £15. I've been married nearly twenty years.

Tip: Concentrate more on the MARRIAGE and less on the wedding.

Holidayshopping Mon 04-Mar-19 18:57:17

I like it!

Can you not wear the two together because of the shape of the engagement ring or something like that? Is that the problem?

habibihabibi Mon 04-Mar-19 18:57:37

Forgot the wedding ring and just have the engagement ring to exchange on the day , which BTW is lovely and really unusual.

LostInShoebiz Mon 04-Mar-19 18:57:54

If you don't like it then buy another one. the ring equivalent of a spa day. Didn’t she say she couldn’t buy another due to funds?

NiceNewShiny Mon 04-Mar-19 18:58:58

I think it's cool. Can you afford to buy another one and have the Whitby Jet one as a normal ring.
Whitby Jet is quite soft. I'd be worried that ring will get damaged very easily.

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 18:59:15

My engagement ring is very similar, which is weird because I love it! 🙈

GregoryPeckingDuck Mon 04-Mar-19 18:59:32

You don’t actually have to wear a wedding band if you don’t want to or you can wear it around a chain

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain Mon 04-Mar-19 19:00:18

Didn’t she say she couldn’t buy another due to funds?

Unless it’s been engraved it’s very unlikely the jeweller wouldn’t do a swap

YahBasic Mon 04-Mar-19 19:00:53

Its lovely. I can’t wear a band with my engagement ring, so I wear them on separate hands.

At first I found my wedding band too plain compared to my engagement ring, but now I’m used to it and love wearing them on separate hands.

Eliza9917 Mon 04-Mar-19 19:03:58

If you really don't like it, sell it or exchange it for another one. You'll wear it forever so you have to love it which was my reasoning for spending £630 on mine

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain Mon 04-Mar-19 19:04:35

Whitby Jet is quite soft. I'd be worried that ring will get damaged very easily.

I was on a wedding forum back in 2016 when a there was a bit of a boom of US posters getting opal engagement or wedding rings. The amount of follow up posts from gutted brides saying they’d nicked, scratched or damaged the stone was enough to put me off softer gems for daily wear.

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 19:07:26

Iv worn my engagement ring every day for 4 years and it’s still as good as new

ABC1234DEF Mon 04-Mar-19 19:07:36

Swap your engagement ring to your right hand?

Refilona Mon 04-Mar-19 19:08:49

I don’t wear my actual wedding or engagement rings anymore (white gold) and wear two old rings my grandma gave me (her wedding band from when she married my grandfather and a little dainty ring with some tiny engraved stones both in yellow gold) that I prefer now. I don’t think it matters at all. Do what makes you happy!

Pocketfull Mon 04-Mar-19 19:10:44

You can dislike your wedding ring and want to change it, but still know it’s ultimately about the marriage in the end, you can do both. 🙄

My wedding ring fits around my engagement ring (it’s a wishbone shape) but would look strange on its own.
My engagement ring is beautiful but I’m not as taken on my wedding ring, it’s a bit chunkier than I would have preferred, and not a perfect shape.
However I love it as it’s from my wedding day, and it was given to me by the man I love and father of my DC.

I think if we renew our vows at twenty years as we plan to, I’ll possibly get another slimmer one that wraps around the engagement ring nicer, and I will wear my other ring around my neck.
I couldn’t ever just not wear it.

See how you feel after you’ve gotten married, your feelings may change.

Heratnumber7 Mon 04-Mar-19 19:14:08

It's a very nice ring. You're going to find it difficult to find any wedding ring to "fit" your engagement ring though. It's enormous! And also very nice.

DontCallMeShitley Mon 04-Mar-19 19:16:05

I like the wedding ring but not the engagement ring, it looks like a dress ring, sorry OP.

My wedding ring was cheap, I took the first one back because it was too heavy and thick and changed it for a more comfortable one. I only have a small stone in my engagement ring though.

It is the rest of your life you should be thinking of though, not just the rings. You just need to find a compromise, maybe just wear the wedding ring and the engagement ring on the other hand.

Misschipmunk Mon 04-Mar-19 19:18:31

Warren James have great deals on , I couldn’t find anything to match my engagement ring ended up finding the same ring and matching wedding band for £30 reduced from £150. Worth a look they had some cheaper ones too

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 19:18:32

It probably is a dress ring but tbh I don’t care. It was chosen by dp and means the world to me.

FascinatingCarrot Mon 04-Mar-19 19:19:27

My wedding ring was only £40 6 years ago and it means the world to me, but its really had a bashing since.
Im planning to have another made and incorporate the melted down gold from it soon. A lot of places do this.

HarrysOwl Mon 04-Mar-19 19:22:59

I couldn't find a wedding ring I loved even nearly as much as my Edwardian engagement ring.

So I used my engagement ring as my wedding ring, I'm so glad I did!

Your wedding, your rules.

thenightsky Mon 04-Mar-19 19:35:45

At 5pm the day before our wedding, we suddenly remembered we didn't have a ring!

Rushed to shops, hoping one would still be open. Grabbed first one we saw that we could pay for with cash. £18.


Amibeingnaive Mon 04-Mar-19 19:41:24

Sigh. Fairly sure OP has thought about the marriage. Note sentimental meaning of the stones etc.

I like them both OP but yes, they may not quite work together.

I like the idea of just using your engagement ring tbh.

Reaa Mon 04-Mar-19 19:49:20

I wear mine on different fingers, engagement ring on ring finger and wedding band on middle finger (left hand) they compliment each other better that way.

Deadringer Mon 04-Mar-19 19:58:40

I love your engagement ring, it's so unusual! I think you would need to get a wedding ring with a bend in it to fit around the stone so you might need to get one made. Will the jeweller take it back? If not as pp said you can always wear them on different fingers/hands.

user1473878824 Mon 04-Mar-19 20:03:37

“Tip: Concentrate more on the MARRIAGE and less on the wedding.”

Such a bitchy comment. Your wedding ring, which you will (hopefully!) wear for the rest of your life, isn’t one day ffs.

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 20:04:46

Are concentrating on the marriage, which is why it’s a small wedding with 20 people and my dress cost £65 ;)

MollysLips Mon 04-Mar-19 20:25:19

Just use the engagement ring as the wedding ring, if you love it. Your wedding ring is like a slightly-less-nice version of your engagement ring, so I don't see the point of it, really. It's going to stop you wearing the ring you love.

Bayleyf Mon 04-Mar-19 20:32:13

They're both stunning rings OP. You have amazing taste!

But - I don't love my wedding ring. I wouldn't change it now (married a few years), but I wish I'd changed it before the wedding. If you wear it for the rest of your life, it needs to be right.

ahtellthee Mon 04-Mar-19 20:38:22

I love Whitby jet (and it's also my happy place).

Missed point of thread

MarieIVanArkleStinks Mon 04-Mar-19 20:41:03

Engagement ring/'dress' ring; why differentiate? It doesn't matter in the slightest.

Whitby jet is very special. This town is a place with a lot of emotional significance and meaning for DH and me, and I'd love to own something like this. Your rings are both lovely and there's no law to say you have to wear them both on the same hand! They look great as they are; engagement ring on the left, wedding ring on the right. Other people's customs don't need to dictate to you.

BTW, congratulations!

Alsohuman Mon 04-Mar-19 20:42:21

My wedding ring was the cheapest in the shop, a very thin plain gold band. It’s a complete nonentity, nothing to love or hate which was exactly why I chose it. It hasn’t left my finger in nearly 19 years.

I love yours, OP, and I think it does go with your engagement ring, my only concern is that it may not last but you wouldn’t be the first woman to replace her ring at some point.

dragonsfire Mon 04-Mar-19 20:49:04

Can you move engagement ring to Right hand after the wedding? I worked in Jewellery 15 years and lots of people did this.

TheFunkyFox Mon 04-Mar-19 20:57:55

I think that’s my plan now, going to put my engagement ring away safe and must wear my wedding ring. It
Matches dps wedding ring, I think I was more worried what people would think being not a traditional wedding ring!

Whatsername7 Mon 04-Mar-19 21:19:57

I didnt like mine either. I decided to get a cut out ring to fit around my engagement ring. I just didnt like it. I had it melted down and remade using some stones I had from another ring. I love it now. Wear it for a while and if you dont like it then your dh to be might not have to think to hard about what to get you for your first anniversary?

DontCallMeShitley Thu 07-Mar-19 17:38:15

Engagement ring/'dress' ring; why differentiate? It doesn't matter in the slightest.

It doesn't matter in terms of what kind of ring it is, however it did concern the OP that she wouldn't be able to wear her wedding ring as well because of the size, therefore it did matter in that respect. Dress rings tend to be larger and not worn with another ring, hence not being able to wear both rings at the same time on the same finger.

Reaa Thu 07-Mar-19 22:06:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mattttttt Thu 07-Mar-19 23:53:09

Get it remade. Most independent jewellers will be able to melt it down and recast it to a shape you prefer.

Whatsername7 Fri 08-Mar-19 21:19:30

Rea your rings are gorgeous!

Yesicancancan Fri 08-Mar-19 21:28:31

Your hands aren’t gross.
Wear either ring in a different finger maybe.

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