To think my parents are mean with presents?

[gotweman]

Thought I’d do a reverse....

I’m 20 and at university. For my birthday, my parents promised me a new pair of glasses which will cost about £100. Other than that, I got £20 to buy me and my mates some pizza. I got a £1 card through the post too. This is all I got. For my parents we spend about £60 for their birthdays, and considering that we are only able to work for around 8 weeks a year due to university work/commitments it is a not unsubstantiatial chunk. My boyfriend’s parents spent about £200 on me, and my boyfriend about £300.

My parents are professionals with no mortgage and take several cheap holidays abroad every year. They have an income
of around £100k.

Were they mean, or am I being grabby and unreasonable?

[HollowTalk]

Yeah I'd say that was very mean.

[HollowTalk]

I'd expect to pay for my daughter's glasses if she's at university, without it being a present. Sunglasses would be different.

[Jackshouse]

Sun glasses or prescription glasses?

[Jackshouse]

Cross posts with Hollow

[EggysMom]

Is it mean? My parents idea of a birthday or Christmas present is one DVD, perhaps a book, and a box of chocolates. That's all they've ever done present-wise, and I was brought up the same way. This habit of spending £100 on a present is unusual to me ...

[gotweman]

Prescription glasses, although not necessary as a new pair was bought by me (the son) 10 months ago.

[icelollycraving]

I don’t think that’s mean at all.

[BikeRunSki]

You are being grabby. Your parents attitude to, and expenditure on, presents is not linked to that of your boyfriend and his parents.

If you resent/can’t afford spending £60 on your parents’ presents, then stop doing it.

The presents your parents gave you sound perfectly reasonable. The money you got from your bf and his family sounds extremely generous. You find very ungrateful!

[Skyejuly]

I dont think they are mean.

[happyasasandboy]

I don't know which way is the reverse or not, but ....

£100 present plus a contribution to a pizza meal, plus a card is about normal for my family, which has similar financial situations I think. All seems very proportionate.

£200 from the boyfriends family and £300 from a presumably student (?) boyfriend seems massively generous to me. When a student I think £30-£50 was about the budget, and in our flush days my now-husband and I spent about £100 on each other.

So to me the £100 family have it about right and the £200/£300 family are very generous.

[confusedandemployed]

If prescription glasses which are needed (I. E. not just a whim) then yes mean.
If not - perfectly fine IMO.

[AutumnCrow]

I'd be quite concerned that a student DC of mine was spending £60 on my birthday. I'd tell them not to, tbh.

A funny text or personalised email would be lovely.

If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend whose family want to spend that kind of money on them, I would probably raise an eyebrow but it's their business I suppose.

It all just sounds unsustainable.

[Kismetjayn]

If they were low income, I'd say it was fine but the fact is they're not. Glasses, pizza money and something 'fun' (I don't know what you like- a book, a game, a bag, whatever) would be reasonable to me... Otherwise it seems quite low effort. How are they the rest of the year?

[BikeRunSki]

Why are they buying you new glasses if you don’t need them ?

[EstrellaDamn]

They've spent £120!

£300 for a birthday is ludicrous

[PrimeraVez]

I think that’s quite generous to be honest. My parents never spend 100 quid on us for our birthdays once we were old enough to be at uni. And they wouldn’t have paid for my glasses at that age either (I had a part time job working evenings in a call centre so would have been expected to pay myself)
I also think it’s quite unusual that your boyfriend’s family spent that much on you.

[MamaWeasel]

Not mean at all

[Cleffa]

How is this a reverse? Are you one of the parents?

[Doobydoobeedoo]

You've had over £600 spent on you and are complaining because you haven't had more?

Sorry but I think you're being grabby here.

[gotweman]

Students are banned from working at Oxbridge and many medical schools

[rosinavera]

I don't think it's mean. In my family (I have no children) there is an unwritten rule that no more than £20 is spent on presents. We spend more on presents for the children in the family but at 20 you're an adult.

[Holidayshopping]

Prescription glasses, although not necessary as a new pair was bought by me (the son) 10 months ago.


I’m very confused. How is this a reverse? Are you the student?

£100 plus £20 sounds generous!

Are you saying that they didn’t want or need the glasses? If so, some communication is clearly lacking somewhere along the way.

The presents from the boyfriend and his family (are you the son with the rich boyfriend?) are extremely expensive!

[happyhillock]

You sound pretty greedy to me, your 20 years old if you want a £100 pair of glasses get them yourself, your boyfriend's parents spent £200 on your birthday, my adult daughter's get £50 for birthdays, £100 for Christmas, it's your parent's money they can spend it as they wish

[SaucyJack]

Are you the parent?

It’s not a very thoughtful present is it? Maybe if you’d be him a nice “fun” present with the twenty, then that might have been a bit different. He’s still your baby. Don’t you enjoy spoiling him?

And I don’t know where you think you can get a round of pizzas for anything under £40 for these days. Certainly not here?