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To think my parents are mean with presents?

(204 Posts)
gotweman Mon 04-Mar-19 18:37:42

Thought I’d do a reverse....

I’m 20 and at university. For my birthday, my parents promised me a new pair of glasses which will cost about £100. Other than that, I got £20 to buy me and my mates some pizza. I got a £1 card through the post too. This is all I got. For my parents we spend about £60 for their birthdays, and considering that we are only able to work for around 8 weeks a year due to university work/commitments it is a not unsubstantiatial chunk. My boyfriend’s parents spent about £200 on me, and my boyfriend about £300.

My parents are professionals with no mortgage and take several cheap holidays abroad every year. They have an income
of around £100k.

Were they mean, or am I being grabby and unreasonable?

HollowTalk Mon 04-Mar-19 18:38:59

Yeah I'd say that was very mean.

HollowTalk Mon 04-Mar-19 18:39:33

I'd expect to pay for my daughter's glasses if she's at university, without it being a present. Sunglasses would be different.

Jackshouse Mon 04-Mar-19 18:40:17

Sun glasses or prescription glasses?

Jackshouse Mon 04-Mar-19 18:40:47

Cross posts with Hollow

EggysMom Mon 04-Mar-19 18:42:02

Is it mean? My parents idea of a birthday or Christmas present is one DVD, perhaps a book, and a box of chocolates. That's all they've ever done present-wise, and I was brought up the same way. This habit of spending £100 on a present is unusual to me ...

gotweman Mon 04-Mar-19 18:42:29

Prescription glasses, although not necessary as a new pair was bought by me (the son) 10 months ago.

icelollycraving Mon 04-Mar-19 18:42:54

I don’t think that’s mean at all.

BikeRunSki Mon 04-Mar-19 18:43:06

You are being grabby. Your parents attitude to, and expenditure on, presents is not linked to that of your boyfriend and his parents.

If you resent/can’t afford spending £60 on your parents’ presents, then stop doing it.

The presents your parents gave you sound perfectly reasonable. The money you got from your bf and his family sounds extremely generous. You find very ungrateful!

Skyejuly Mon 04-Mar-19 18:43:32

I dont think they are mean.

happyasasandboy Mon 04-Mar-19 18:43:39

I don't know which way is the reverse or not, but ....

£100 present plus a contribution to a pizza meal, plus a card is about normal for my family, which has similar financial situations I think. All seems very proportionate.

£200 from the boyfriends family and £300 from a presumably student (?) boyfriend seems massively generous to me. When a student I think £30-£50 was about the budget, and in our flush days my now-husband and I spent about £100 on each other.

So to me the £100 family have it about right and the £200/£300 family are very generous.

confusedandemployed Mon 04-Mar-19 18:43:42

If prescription glasses which are needed (I. E. not just a whim) then yes mean.
If not - perfectly fine IMO.

AutumnCrow Mon 04-Mar-19 18:44:02

I'd be quite concerned that a student DC of mine was spending £60 on my birthday. I'd tell them not to, tbh.

A funny text or personalised email would be lovely.

If they have a boyfriend or girlfriend whose family want to spend that kind of money on them, I would probably raise an eyebrow but it's their business I suppose.

It all just sounds unsustainable.

Kismetjayn Mon 04-Mar-19 18:44:07

If they were low income, I'd say it was fine but the fact is they're not. Glasses, pizza money and something 'fun' (I don't know what you like- a book, a game, a bag, whatever) would be reasonable to me... Otherwise it seems quite low effort. How are they the rest of the year?

BikeRunSki Mon 04-Mar-19 18:44:10

Why are they buying you new glasses if you don’t need them ?

EstrellaDamn Mon 04-Mar-19 18:44:41

They've spent £120!

£300 for a birthday is ludicrous shock

PrimeraVez Mon 04-Mar-19 18:45:02

I think that’s quite generous to be honest. My parents never spend 100 quid on us for our birthdays once we were old enough to be at uni. And they wouldn’t have paid for my glasses at that age either (I had a part time job working evenings in a call centre so would have been expected to pay myself)
I also think it’s quite unusual that your boyfriend’s family spent that much on you.

FrancisCrawford Mon 04-Mar-19 18:45:23

Unusual for a student not to be able to work in term time.

DD has just left after 5 years of study, and she and all her friends worked throughout, including those doing nursing.

I wouldn’t be sniffing about having £120 spent on me. That seems more than generous. What your boyfriend and his parents sp nd is up to them.

There are people who have less than £120 a month to spend on food for their family.

MamaWeasel Mon 04-Mar-19 18:45:25

Not mean at all

Cleffa Mon 04-Mar-19 18:46:14

How is this a reverse? Are you one of the parents?

Doobydoobeedoo Mon 04-Mar-19 18:46:22

You've had over £600 spent on you and are complaining because you haven't had more? shock

Sorry but I think you're being grabby here.

gotweman Mon 04-Mar-19 18:48:11

Students are banned from working at Oxbridge and many medical schools

rosinavera Mon 04-Mar-19 18:48:25

I don't think it's mean. In my family (I have no children) there is an unwritten rule that no more than £20 is spent on presents. We spend more on presents for the children in the family but at 20 you're an adult.

Holidayshopping Mon 04-Mar-19 18:48:50

Prescription glasses, although not necessary as a new pair was bought by me (the son) 10 months ago.

I’m very confused. How is this a reverse? Are you the student?

£100 plus £20 sounds generous!

Are you saying that they didn’t want or need the glasses? If so, some communication is clearly lacking somewhere along the way.

The presents from the boyfriend and his family (are you the son with the rich boyfriend?) are extremely expensive!

happyhillock Mon 04-Mar-19 18:48:54

You sound pretty greedy to me, your 20 years old if you want a £100 pair of glasses get them yourself, your boyfriend's parents spent £200 on your birthday, my adult daughter's get £50 for birthdays, £100 for Christmas, it's your parent's money they can spend it as they wish

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