Cross with my mum aibu?(14 Posts)
I'm 39 weeks pregnant with my 3rd DC so might be just hormones making me mad.
I have 2dc from previous marriage who live with me and my new DP half of the week. My mum who is ill also lives with us and has done for last 6 years.
My DFIL (my DPs dad) decided would be a nice surprise for me and DP if he got the kids of the family to colour in a large canvas heart (for when the baby comes) and asked my mum if she could get my DC when they're here with us, to colour in their piece ready for when the baby arrives. My DPs niece and nephew have also coloured in a part of this picture.
It was supposed to be a surprise for me and DP but I found it under DS bed when cleaning about 3 months ago 🙄 but nevermind.
The last couple of weeks it's been up to my DS to finish it off, basically he had a small portion of flowers to colour. I have asked him a few times if he's done it but he hadnt yet got round to it still this weekend. He text me (as he was at his dad's this weekend) and said he knew he still had it to do but he'd do it Monday.
My mum then proceeded to tell me she's been in his room, taken it out and finished colouring it in because "he hadn't done it yet" and she didn't want to get the blame from DFIL if the baby came early and it wasn't finished.
I told her she shouldn't have done it, it wasn't her place now DS wouldn't have had any part in something that he should have etc. I told her I wasn't massively cross but I don't think she made the right choice she should have left it. She disagreed. That made me more cross then!
DS who is 10 btw was really upset as expected and I've told him not to worry he can draw something on the canvas at the side of the coloured picture to personalise it for me and DP. I'm now going to have to sit with him to help him with this as he's really anxious he's going to mess it up.
When I asked DM to bring the picture through from her room I said that DS was upset that she'd done the colouring and she just snapped that it was "his own fault"😣
I've just bitten my tongue and I won't mention it again but it's really annoyed me and feel like crying... Though that probably is the hormones.
Aibu for being so angry about it?
Your mum shouldn't have done it but I think you're being OTT. Why hasn't your son done it yet if it's been discovered 3 months ago?! You should have got him to do it since you then knew about it.
you can be annoyed but shes done it for the right reasons imo
you knew about it, you knew he hadnt done it as well
I can see why you're upset, it's hard when boundaries are overstepped, especially in your own home. Did your mum have a part to colour in on the heart? Could she have wanted to feel included? Or she could have thought she was helping and just doesn't want to admit any wrongdoing.
I hope this is an isolated incident so you can move on from it. In short, you're not unreasonable but you've thought of a way to make it special for your son so probably not worth a fall out
I’d argue if your son wanted to do it as much as you think it wouldn’t have been left 3 months until a few days before the baby is due
I do understand he should have pulled his finger out and already done his part.
I did say this to him when he found out and was upset in a "well you've learnt a lesson here" kind of way.
The thing that bothers me most I guess is that if she'd have asked me before I would have said to leave it. I'd already said to DS if you leave it until the baby is here it will look bad on you.
Her attitude to it has just annoyed me.
And she did have a bit to colour herself she was the only adult who actually had a piece to colour 🤔
I think DS had forever to do it. DM stepped in. I would def let it go.
I think your mum meant well. Your son has learnt now perhaps not to leave things that long! He's 10, not 4!
Sorry you are upset but the bit where you say she had her own bit to colour in made me smile.
She did pretty much what my mum would have done. Let it go.
I'm cross about it but I'm definitely not going to hold a grudge or anything 😂
I think I probably am being sensitive because I feel like I've been pregnant for 10 years 😞😞😞
She shouldn't have coloured it but he left it there for three months so I wouldn't be entertaining his pity party either, he's 10, he clearly wasn't arsed but see this as a chance to cover up the fact he wasn't arsed by being upset
I'd be pissed off with her, it wasn't her place to interfere, she's overstepped the boundaries, but in the grand scheme of things, you'll have to let it go. Good luck with the baby
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