To want another baby already?(27 Posts)
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I've got a 9mo DS and have been back at work from maternity leave for a couple weeks. Up until a couple months ago I wasn't even sure I wanted another baby at all, let alone any time soon (horrible pregnancy and birth, followed by PND) but suddenly I find myself constantly thinking about getting pregnant and having another.
DH and I always said we'd have 2, and I'm wondering if it's a good idea to have them close together, partly so they're quite close in age which might be nice for them, and partly so that I can kind of get the pregnancy part of my life out of the way and have kids while I'm still relatively young (I say 'young', I'm 30, but I don't want to be having a baby in my late 30s)
Can anyone give me advice on whether having kids close together in age has been positive/negative? Is having 2 under 2 a truly terrible idea?
No I did it (and if you ttc now you may not get of straight away).
My DD and DS are very close and have actually moved out together and share a flat!
Hi I'm in the exact same predicament as yourself got an 8 month old and suddenly to my surprise am feeling broody again which has shocked me because I've had very bad PND and still physically have not recovered from the birth. But strangely cannot shake the feeling of wanting to give my son a brother or sister 😁
So would love to see people's experiences on this.
I think it's a good idea. You're young enough to get it out of the way and then focus on your career. Plus the kids will play together. I have a friend who has a small gap between children and I'm envious how the kids have someone to play with on days out.
I was the same! 8 months and I got hit hard with broodiness. We waited until 12mo to start trying again and I'm now 8 weeks pregnant - conceived when DS was 19mo. If you are ready / secure/ both on board then go for it!
Well I got pregnant with DD2 when DD1 was 12 months old. We're now very busy but I think a small age gap can definitely help in terms of them entertaining one another. Pregnancy with a toddler is hard but difficult to avoid unless you want a large age gap!
Well there's 15 months between DD and DS due to 'contraceptive malfunction' and, actually, it's kinda great. Won't lie, the last year has been awful with health problems and sleep deprivation all round, but now that DS is the right side of 12 months and sleeping more reliably, we're starting to finally see the benefits: they keep each other entertained and love most of the same things. The chaos is worth it to have siblings that are so close, both in age and relationship.
If you want them close together then go for it. People do and make it work.
Without meaning to sound rude, are you sure the sudden desire is because you want a second now, or is it because you have only just gone back to work? Could there be an element that you want another maternity leave, either because you want to be off with your DC or because you don't like your job so you are pushing up the timescale?
Don't forget to consider the childcare aspect. I suddenly realised there was no way we could afford 2 lots of nursery fees and so we needed to wait until at least we would have the 30 hours.
Currently 6 months pregnant and have a 10 month old baby, so a smaller gap than you are planning.
It's physically tough to be doing it again so quickly but i am convinced the small gap will pay off ... one day ... when the nappies are done!
There is a 16 month age gap between mine and so far it has been fine!! My youngest is 5 months
There were 6 years between mine. No arguing, no fighting or squabbling, or fighting for attention. Perfect. And now they're good friends.
my dds are just 11.5 months apart partly due to younger dd being born early but i never regretted it you would not believe how close they are not only sisters but bf
Thanks for the replies! Lots to think about. I think it's definitely not just because I'm back at work now, because to be honest I enjoy going to work. Definitely need to do the maths on childcare costs and see what it would be though!
I think I just love the idea of them being young together and best friends
Friend has gap of 15 mths and said she would have waited longer if she knew it would be like this!
I have just over 3 yr gap and DS1 was settled and getting his 15hrs free care when DS2 was born.
I have a gap of 20mo between DC1 and 2 and the same gap will be there for DC3.
20 months is a hard gap. I would recommend either going for it NOW or waiting another 5/6 months.
There is 16 months between my 2. Im not going to lie, it's tough but they are now starting to play together and life is fun but chaotic!! I would say go for it!!
I was broody after DD1 at six months pp right up until dd1 was 3 then we had DD2 now almost 6mo I can feel the broodiness coming back again but don't think I'll get another one this time as DH only wants two
It’s a stage known as ‘puke on the shoulder & snot on your jeans’!
Yes, waiting until 3 is better financially. It’s a lot harder with 2 under two at home because you can’t sleep when baby naps because toddler is awake.
I have DC1 and DTs. I had them when DC 1 was 4.5. I liked the gap because it meant DC1 got a lot of attention because a second baby does split your attention.
We had three kids aged 3 and below. I'm not going to lie it was fucking hard in the early days and is still hard now sometimes - 3 aged 5 and below.
I've taught my older two to compromise a lot! We have family days out but sometimes we leave the little one with family so they can have a longer day with more activity etc. It's hard for us and them to have to organise days around a stubborn little one that will not nap on the move and turns into a demon without a nap!
But they are also lovely together. They have similar interests and play together. If I'd had my time again I'd have maybe had a bigger age gap between the younger two, but it is what it is.
We have a 22 month gap - actually timed so that they're only one academic year apart - and so far I think it's perfect. Big enough gap that the eldest was starting to get some proper independence before the baby arrived, small enough gap that they'll hopefully be entertaining each other for a while - and minimises the period of needing childcare, even though you need double childcare for some of it.
I'm 32 weeks pregnant with number 2 and DS1 is 19mo.
I just think itll be easier to entertain them as they get older.
They will hopefully both enjoy the same things at the same time. I think it would be crap going to Alton towers and standing with the pushchair when the older one is on rides, basically they will hopefully both be a suitable age to enjoy our days outs and activities together.
I am worried its going to be hard with the sleep regime, but we'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Saved all DS1 baby things so many number 2 is practically costing nothing!
I have an 8 week old and am already keen to have another! I say go for it
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