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Off Sick - being forced to come in

(210 Posts)
MyNameIsABCDE Mon 04-Mar-19 09:29:32

I'm currently having the heaviest, most painful period of my life. I'm soaking through a tampon AND pad every hour or so and have vomited, feel very weak and faint.

I text my boss yesterday to let him know I was ill (didn't mention it was a period but just said I've been sick and dizzy) and to let him know I might not be in today. His reply was just that he needs me to come in. I text again first thing this morning saying I'm still not well but will try and come in later. Again he just said I need you to come in later.

I work in an office. He doesn't 'need' me there. The others in my team are in today and can cover anything urgent that needs to be done today.

AIBU to think that he should just let me have a day off sick and say hope you feel better soon?

Cleffa Mon 04-Mar-19 09:31:39

Well your first mistake was making your text sound negotiable.

Just call in, tell them you are very unwell and will not be able to come to work today, sorry, and leave it at that.

Seeline Mon 04-Mar-19 09:32:11

Well if you keep offering, he will take you up on it.
Don't say 'might' or 'I will try to'
Call and say you are being sick and you won't be in today.

Shoxfordian Mon 04-Mar-19 09:33:07

Yeah he should but you need to be less ambiguous about it as well

Prinstress Mon 04-Mar-19 09:33:12

Can you email in “further to our phone call I am not well enough to attend work today”?

As long as you’re following absence procedure, it’s tough titties if he NEEDS you there the weirdo.

Hope you feel better soon brew

InglouriousBasterd Mon 04-Mar-19 09:33:19

Soaking through a pad an hour needs medical investigation ASAP - call 111 and ignore your boss. It can be a medical emergency especially if it’s outside of your norm.

FetchezLaVache Mon 04-Mar-19 09:33:30

That level of bleeding isn't right, OP - you need to seek medical help pdq.

FetchezLaVache Mon 04-Mar-19 09:34:25

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-says-mumsnet-saved-life-9226089

EvePolastriBaby Mon 04-Mar-19 09:34:29

He's not allowed to force you in on sick leave. Be firm, send an email. Don't answer any calls. Make sure there is a paper trail for any and all communication.

acquiescence Mon 04-Mar-19 09:34:35

You are not being forced to. Just tell him you are unwell and can’t come in. Have you had previous investigations around heavy periods? That is a lot of blood loss.

Butterymuffin Mon 04-Mar-19 09:35:05

He can't actually make you come in. He can discipline you according to work policy if you've done something wrong, but having a sick day isn't a crime. Don't know what your firm's sick pay policy is so it may be that you lose money, but, again, he can't actually force you to go in.

MyNameIsABCDE Mon 04-Mar-19 09:35:27

Fair enough, I should've worded the messages differently. But I genuinely thought I might be feeling better by now and we'll enough to go in. It's usual practice at my work to just text when you're ill/running late/have a doctors appointment or whatever.

I'm very rarely off so I just would've expected a bit more sympathy from him

ErictheGuineaPig Mon 04-Mar-19 09:35:56

Get some medical help - you really need checking out. And next time don't give the impression that you may be in - tell him you won't be.

TedAndLola Mon 04-Mar-19 09:36:49

Soaking through a pad an hour needs medical investigation ASAP - call 111 and ignore your boss. It can be a medical emergency especially if it’s outside of your norm.

I went to my GP after soaking through a super tampon and pad every hour for a week. He couldn't have been less concerned. I went to a walk in after another fortnight. She couldn't have been less concerned.

There was a long thread on here recently about how women's medical issues aren't taken seriously.

ineedaholidaynow Mon 04-Mar-19 09:37:23

I was going to say if this is unusual bleeding for you you need to get medical advice now. I remember that other thread, very scary.

TedAndLola Mon 04-Mar-19 09:38:41

I'm not saying you shouldn't seek help, OP. I'm still anaemic a year after my month of bleeding. Just that you might not get the level of concern from doctors that people here are showing for you.

GummyGoddess Mon 04-Mar-19 09:38:56

Are you getting help now? That's way more important than your work.

WorkingItOutAsIGo Mon 04-Mar-19 09:39:53

You must get medical attention ASAP

GummyGoddess Mon 04-Mar-19 09:40:07

Do you think you're feeling weak and dizzy due to the extreme blood loss?

InglouriousBasterd Mon 04-Mar-19 09:42:33

TedandLola that’s terrible shock I had some gynae problems and was told a pad an hour was A and E. When it happened I was straight in to majors and on fluids - another lady on the ward I was admitted to had the same and had transfusions going. It’s appalling you weren’t taken seriously.

LaughingInside Mon 04-Mar-19 09:43:22

I don’t like the sound of this. Forget your boss, you need medical attention. Bleeding that much, vomiting and feeling weak and faint are worrying. Please call 111 OP.

PinkDaffodil2 Mon 04-Mar-19 09:44:47

Send a very clear text or email letting him know you’re not well enough to come in, and I’d call your GP or 111 if your bleeding is that heavy and you’re feeling faint may need checking out urgently.

SardineJam Mon 04-Mar-19 09:46:36

Make sure you're following to correct procedure for reporting absence - if you are required to phone in, do that, you need to make sure you are squeaky clean in this. We aren't allowed to text in.

PinkDaffodil2 Mon 04-Mar-19 09:48:07

Also it’s a fair thing to rock up toA&E with - especially if not settling.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 Mon 04-Mar-19 09:48:59

Definitely get checked out, I also remember the other thread.
Forget about work for the moment flowers

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