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To not met petty criminals and gang members around my children?

(12 Posts)
IdontthinkIABUaboutthis Sun 03-Mar-19 20:08:21

There are relatives on my partners side who are into thievery and gang crime. One carries a knife. Several regularly beat people up. The entire family know about it and turn a blind eye.

Would I be unreasonable to say I don't want any of them around our kids? It's causing big arguments between us. He is saying the odd visit wouldn't harm the kids, I want to go NC to protect the kids.

sweeneytoddsrazor Sun 03-Mar-19 20:23:11

Protect the kids from what exactly? They don't sound like nice people but presumably they dont go round stealing from or beating up family members.

IdontthinkIABUaboutthis Sun 03-Mar-19 20:30:23

Protect them from that lifestyle. They are not very educated and openly talk about things you shouldn't in front of kids. I dont want the kids associating with people like that and getting in with the wrong crowd or thinking it's admirable.

Meandwinealone Sun 03-Mar-19 20:32:21

You really have to ask why someone needs to protect their children from those sort of people! shock

sweeneytoddsrazor Sun 03-Mar-19 20:35:33

But they are family members of the man you chose to have children with. And as their parent he has as much right as you to say who the kids see and who they don't.

IdontthinkIABUaboutthis Sun 03-Mar-19 20:36:55

Surely he doesn't have the right to do something damaging to our children?

sweeneytoddsrazor Sun 03-Mar-19 20:41:11

Presumably being related to and seeing these family members has not damaged your DP or led him in to a life of crime.

IdontthinkIABUaboutthis Sun 03-Mar-19 20:42:07

It hasn't led him to a life of crime however as a child he used to steal things and only stopped in his teens. He also had very little guidance and support. So yes I think it did damage him!

Popfan Sun 03-Mar-19 21:55:33

YANBU no way would my kids be anywhere near those people!

NoCauseRebel Sun 03-Mar-19 22:04:34

Tbh I’m a bit hmm at all this talk of needing to protect kids from this and that these days.
Most of this kind of stuff washes over their heads tbh and the less you make of it the less of a big deal it is to them.

I had family members who were into petty crap when I was growing up, and now as an adult I just laugh at the kinds of things that they used to bring up in average conversation. As a child I certainly didn’t aspire to be anything like any of them, it was just who they were iyswim.

But people go NC over anything and everything these days and if anything I think that it shelters kids unnecessarily. If you’re bringing them up in the correct manner then it’s not hard to teach them right from wrong, and to correct them if they start aspiring to uncle john’s idea of robbing the lead from the church roof and so on.... ;)

Lovingbenidorm Sun 03-Mar-19 22:16:44

I feel very strongly that I would not want my kids exposed to this.
The very act of socialising with these people gives a message of acceptance.
It’s not acceptable at all, petty or not.
Op said one carries a knife, so far in 2019 there have been

4amClub Mon 04-Mar-19 07:55:58

YANBU. Some members of DHs family are like this. Casual (planned) violence, alcohol and drug abuse. (talked about openly and cheerfully) stints in prison for violent crime, drink/drug driving. Like fuck am I exposing my children to people who think it's funny to treat others like life is disposable.

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