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To ask how you knew you were truly in love?

(16 Posts)
jcmayj Sun 03-Mar-19 15:44:58

I have only had 2 long term boyfriends, my ex DP and my DP now.

Ex DP I was sure I loved him and was fairly devastated for a couple months or so when it ended, but now I look back I realise it was nothing compared to my relationship now.

Have been with my current DP almost 4 years and I would do absolutely anything for him. We have "broken up" a couple of times but it's never lasted for more than a few hours as we both know we could never be without each other. We have been through very difficult times together and have always made it out the other end stronger.

AIBU to ask when how you knew you were in love? smile

Confusedbeetle Sun 03-Mar-19 15:54:58

When we were still together 45 years later

jcmayj Sun 03-Mar-19 15:55:21

@Confusedbeetle lovely thanks

hopefulhalf Sun 03-Mar-19 15:57:34

When I gave him beans on toast for lunch and he said how much he loved it.

jcmayj Sun 03-Mar-19 16:05:32

@hopefulhalf 😂

RedLemonade Sun 03-Mar-19 16:06:50

Having been “in love” twice previously I eventually realised I was confusing feeling happy/excited with love.

With DH I was able to recognize in the early stages I was feeling happy with a very lovely man. It was around 7-8 months in I felt a deepening and maturing of that happiness and it merged with a real feeling of friendship, fun, passion, security, shared values, fierce loyalty, honesty, and that intangible something more than for me means love. Very different to what I had thought love was before that.

IHeartKingThistle Sun 03-Mar-19 16:07:40

When it was a no-brainer. Didn't even have to wonder, didn't have to give it any thought at all.

Had a lot of teenage angst over boys prior to that! Met DH at 18 and have been together 21 years.

hopefulhalf Sun 03-Mar-19 16:08:26

21 years ago

Soubriquet Sun 03-Mar-19 16:13:17

Mine was a horrible way and I have never forgave myself, but I was 5 months pregnant and I broke up with my then fiancé.

It didn’t help my parents hated him and were whisperering horrible things about him in my ear. At the time I was still close to them so stupidly listened.

He went to stay at his mums that night, he was gutted but respected my decision.

I had to go home from work early the next day as I was a wreck. He came back to collect some stuff and I had my head in the toilet chucking up.

Without a second thought, he was there holding my hair back and rubbing my back.

As soon as I was fine, he carried on packing his things and said he was off.

I told him I didn’t want him to go. He slept on the sofa that night.

The next day, I realised what an utter idiot I was and told him how much I loved him.

He took my back so questions asked.

I’m definitely not close to my parents anymore.

In fact because I went back to him, they stopped speaking to me fully.

Now I go months without speaking to either of them. If my mum (never my dad) comes round, she’s literally in and out. My dh makes his excuses to be somewhere else so my mum isn’t upset by him, but she finds this insulting...yet she hates being in the same room too.

Can’t win with them so now I have a healthy relationship with my husband and a not so healthy relationship with my parents.

I don’t miss them tbh. They spent a lot of my youth guilt tripping me and making me do things such as babysitting my niece so they could go out and get drunk.

They have never liked that my husband gave me the back bone to say “actually, I’m not going to babysit tonight. Im going out myself”

I feel sorry for my kids as they dote on my sisters children. It’s my sons birthday tomorrow but I honestly don’t think she’s going to get him anything..

MrsBobDylan Sun 03-Mar-19 18:57:50

I can't really explain it but I just knew with absolute certainty that he was the best person in the world.

Am I felt very sure that he thought the same about me.

I knew I wanted to be with him forever in the first minute. We are 17 years in now and he is still as wonderful.

AppleCrisps Sun 03-Mar-19 19:02:56

With my (unfortunately now) ex, it was that one moment where we were just sitting on the sofa in silence doing our own things. I'd spent a lot of time being generally unhappy/wondering what's the point of anything and I remember looking over and thinking "wow, my life turned out okay; I'm okay." That was it for me.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict Sun 03-Mar-19 19:11:27

When I wanted to see him every day and if I knew he was coming round in the evening, I'd look forward to it all day.
He's the person I'd choose to spend time with over anyone else, anytime.
There was never any game playing, time wasting. We both said we were really into each other and that was it. No one in my past compares to the way I feel about him and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else.

HarrysOwl Sun 03-Mar-19 19:22:01

I'd had surgery and was too weak to wash when I got home.

My then-partner carried me to the shower, held me up with the shower running and then washed my yucky, stinky feet.

He hates feet.

I knew I that moment I'd marry him. grin still going strong years and years later.

BeanTownNancy Sun 03-Mar-19 21:40:20

It just felt like I'd come home. I knew within a week that I'd marry him.

SnowyAlpsandPeaks Sun 03-Mar-19 21:55:04

There was a few things rather than one:-

I had an unexpected bill of over £1000, I didn’t mention it to dp, but he kept texting and asking what was wrong as I seemed off. Eventually I told him. Later that night I went to look at my account to see what I could cancel etc and he had sent me the money several hours earlier.

When he cooks for me and also brings me breakfast in bed at his.

When I’m staying at his and feel unwell (I have a few conditions) and he lets me stay in bed until the afternoon and makes sure I’m drinking and taking my meds.

When he booked us a surprise holiday and wouldn’t allow me to pay for anything.

When he comes up and brings my dc treats.

When he talks to my ex on the phone if I’m sleeping, and will arrange things with him, for example ex wants me to have dc one night as he’s going out. Dp will arrange it with him without a seconds thought.

When I’m manic (bipolar), and if I say things like we should finish as he’d be better without me, he’ll say I’m not listening to you until you are well.

When he gave me a drawer at his house and space in his wardrobe.

When I was upset one night and crying at his house, he gave me a hug and said go and ask my mum for one she gives great hugs. I went into the living room took one looks at her and starting sobbing, and she said come here, and just hugged me until I stopped and then let me talk everything through. Which is what I really needed.

When he spoons me in bed, kisses my head and whispers in my ear ‘I love you’

When I haven’t seen him for 3 days and I can’t wait to see him. When he comes in and hugs me, I feel like I can never let go.

Yeah, I love him!!

jcmayj Mon 04-Mar-19 01:17:04


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