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To move to East Sussex with no support

(15 Posts)
Imustbemad00 Sun 03-Mar-19 08:45:27

I live in London. Single parent, 2 kids. One primary, one secondary. Parents close by. Not many real friends although know lots of people as lived here my whole life so have plenty of people around. Kids have friends l, clubs ect.

Possibility of moving to Bexhill. Don’t know much about it but google is telling me it’s a place for old people, although a lovely and also safe place.

I dream of living in the countryside or by the sea. I hate the hustle and bustle and filth of London now. My youngest also loves nature and countryside. My eldest obviously has a life here (13).

Would I be crazy to move? I’d be alone. Nobody to have the kids for an hour or help in emergencies. My youngest would strugggle big time with the change. He’s school are absolutely amazing with him so I’d worry about him going to a new school and not getting the same support. Both kids are in ofsted outstanding schools. Kids are also extremely close to grandparents.

Worry that the oldest would be bored out of her mind as kids in quieter towns have nothing to do. Then there’s job prospects ect to think about.

Would I be silly to give up life here andnleave my support network for the quiet life that I crave. A bigger house and walks on the beach. Would I actually hate the quiet life?

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts Sun 03-Mar-19 08:54:21

It's a difficult situation. Have you visited Bexhill? Maybe try and arrange a holiday there get a feel for it, see if you can imagine living there.

I live in the boundary of east and west Sussex. There's plenty of places that have the balance of quiet country walks with direct buses/trains to towns. Where I am I'm 5 mins from the beach, 20 mins to walk to the downs, 30 mins bus ride to Brighton. I wouldn't like to live in the city but I like the opportunities of having it close by smile

AuntieGeek Sun 03-Mar-19 08:54:27

I taught in Bexhill and in Hastings. It's calmer with less gang related stuff than London. It's definitely pretty but it's totally end of the line. Transport is nowhere near as good as London and it's hard to be independent without a car.

People are lovely though. Bexhill definitely older than St Leonard's or Hastings. Really good arts scene down there. Google Hastings Fringe. No grammar system, the schools are ok (not sure of current ratings) but we're friendly even to grockles!

One kid I taught was in your daughter's situation. He made the transition in no bother and loved it. Hearing his stories around the London riots made me realise how sensible his mum was. Not sure of her support network in place before she came though.

Might be worth a long weekend (Cooden Bay) to scope out what you like and don't like. Areas of deprivation around there too. Bexhill MP is apparently quite effective (I didn't vote for him) but still conservative.

Amber Rudd is MP for Hastings and Rye. If you could afford it, move to Rye. V pretty.

SaucyJack Sun 03-Mar-19 08:57:00

You’d be crazy to move to Bexhill from London.

Hastings or Eastbourne would be better. Both have that pretty season thing going on, but big enough to keep a teen whose grown up in London entertained.

SaucyJack Sun 03-Mar-19 08:58:32

*pretty seaside

BlueSkiesLies Sun 03-Mar-19 09:00:49

I think you’d be crazy to do that.

What’s your housing and work situation like in London?

If both of those are fine then what about just getting out at the weekends into the country side or to the sea more? London is amazing in that you can hop on a train and be in beautiful and quiet countryside in no time at all.

Bluebell878275 Sun 03-Mar-19 09:05:14

I love living in East Sussex. I would recommend Hastings or St.Leonards rather than Bexhill though.

Imustbemad00 Sun 03-Mar-19 09:05:59

It’d be a council swap with someone that lives in Bexhill.
I’m in a flat now in an ok area in zone 1. I have a job but would be able to find another.

IheartNiles Sun 03-Mar-19 09:12:31

There is no way I’d move a teenager who is happy and doing well at school. It also sounds as though your younger child would cope badly with a change. Both are in outstanding schools, your younger child’s issues are well supported at school, you have family nearby for help.
Schools outside of London have smaller budgets and are often less good. Rural or seaside communities are often deprived and have less opportunity. This is why people move away from them.

I don’t understand why you would risk all this just to be near countryside.

I would maybe delay your move until the kids are grown.

Imustbemad00 Sun 03-Mar-19 09:26:24

Neither children are exactly thriving. Both struggling in one way or another so I am concerned how it would affect them moving away. But I worry about the dangers of living in London, gangs, drugs, knives. Especially for my youngest who is a boy. It’s all too common. I they are struggling anyway this makes them more vulnerable.
Realistically I know there are more benefits to staying than leaving. Just craving a bit of countryside and bringing my children up in a safe place.

MachineBee Sun 03-Mar-19 09:32:37

I wouldn’t move them to East Sussex unless you have family. Or need to be within commuting distance of London. I moved there from West Midlands for marriage and it’s been tough.

I wouldn’t have liked to do it with teenagers. If you are keen to move out of London, I would look more widely and consider other parts of the uk. The bigger cities like Leeds, Manchester and Birmingham are much easier to travel into from nearby countryside. They tend to have better bus services than East Sussex, which is rubbish. Plus the cost of living is much cheaper.

HerBigChance Sun 03-Mar-19 09:32:59

I love living in East Sussex too. Bexhill is very nice, although I agree with pp that Eastbourne or Hastings are better in terms of transport and shops etc. Can't comment on the schools.

There's deprivation, which is not uncommon in seaside towns, but crime in general is much lower, people are friendlier. There is more going on culturally than people may imagine.

LIZS Sun 03-Mar-19 09:36:11

You need to visit. Bexhill is probably nicer than Hastings/Eastbourne but has a very run down town centre and little for teens to do. Even in high season it was pretty quiet.

SaucyJack Sun 03-Mar-19 09:59:39

“It’d be a council swap with someone that lives in Bexhill.“

Ah, OK. That makes sense as to why you have Bexhill as the option.

Depending on schools, then perhaps it wouldn’t be that crazy. Particularly if gang culture is a genuine risk where you currently are.

Bexhill has a station, with frequent trains to bigger “shopping” towns on either side. It’s not rural. You could be in a Primark in Hastings or Eastbourne every Saturday if that’s something that would appeal to your teenage DD.

RoseMartha Sun 03-Mar-19 10:21:10

If you have transport or there are rail and bus links you can get to Hastings, Eastbourne and Brighton from Bexhill easily. There are lots of things to do within a 30-40 min journey in each direction.
It is fairly quiet. I dont know it very well or all the areas within the town area, we visit there sometimes.
It has a large park for your younger child. There is the seafront and beach. St Richard's sch I have heard good things about. Dont know if over subscribed though.

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