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To ask how long you waited before telling your family you were pregnant?

(87 Posts)
CerysBeizsley Sat 02-Mar-19 20:13:46

I waited until after my 12 week scan to tell everyone.

My brothers gf has announced she is pregnant- she found out this morning and is only a couple of weeks pregnant.

We are all thrilled as a family but other members of my family are already making comments about why she’d be telling us ‘so early’ and the fact that it’s a home pregnancy test as opposed to one ‘done at the doctors’.

Don’t get me wrong we are all very excited but got me wondering if this was the norm now of if anyone still waits until the 12 week scan?

Pishogue Sat 02-Mar-19 20:18:17

Home pregnancy kits are fully as accurate as anything ‘done at the doctor’s’.

I didn’t tell anyone apart from DH, my GP and my line manager till between 17 and 18 weeks, I think.

UserAlice Sat 02-Mar-19 20:20:02

I’ve waited for the scan (telling family tomorrow) but I think it is very common for people to tell nearest and dearest earlier. A work colleague told us his wife was pregnant when she was only 6 weeks or so. Wouldn’t be my choice but each to their own!

tealandteal Sat 02-Mar-19 20:20:35

They don't do a test at the doctors usually but people do usually wait til after the 12 week scan. We told our parents at 5 weeks as wouldn't see them face to face for a few months. Told everyone else at 12 weeks.

MeredithGrey1 Sat 02-Mar-19 20:21:23

Well my GP never did a test, so I only had the home pregnancy test to go on until I had a scan. From what I’ve heard I think that’s quite normal.
I had an early scan at around 7 weeks where we saw the heartbeat and we told people after that.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 02-Mar-19 20:21:59

I told immediate family after the 12 week scan and told wider family after the 20.

crispysausagerolls Sat 02-Mar-19 20:24:51

Christ i planned to wait but was so excited I rang my mother and brothers the next day at only 4 weeks. Really early but I would have wanted their support if it went wrong.

Gronk27 Sat 02-Mar-19 20:26:17

I was a little torn as I can see the arguments both for waiting until 12 weeks and not waiting (I don't want to be negative but my friend said she hadn't told anyone and when the worst happened it was almost like she had to convince people that she had been pregnant in the first place). I told my own parents at about 6 weeks as I felt I needed their support and my Mum would've have guessed anyway. Told the in laws not much longer after as DH asked if we could to cheer up his poorly Dad. I told a close friend who has children as I found it was great to have someone I could to talk to about it pretty early on. Told my best friends at about 9/10 weeks as again needed to be able to talk to them. Everyone else we told at 12 weeks but didn't but it onto FB until 20 weeks.

JustThe2OfUsMK Sat 02-Mar-19 20:26:30

OH knew straight away, told line manager at 24 weeks, told family , friends, collegues when I was 8 months. They were all in complete shock as I kept it well hidden. I was just very anxious if things went wrong and didn't want to be treated like an invalid neither

Fiveredbricks Sat 02-Mar-19 20:27:03

We waited for the viability scan at 7 weeks.

Fiveredbricks Sat 02-Mar-19 20:27:24

We only told my parents and my best friend though. Everyone else after 12wks.

StinkyCandle Sat 02-Mar-19 20:28:21

My sisters: straight away, the day after I told DH.
My parents: 20 weeks, they would have been crushed if we had lost the baby
anyone else: 6 months when it was becoming obvious I couldn't be as active as i used to be.

Coldilox Sat 02-Mar-19 20:29:57

We told our parents straight away, couldn’t see any reason not to. They knew we were having IVF, and if the worst happened we would have wanted support.

My close work colleagues also knew, needed to tell my line manager straight away due to the nature of my work, and those I worked closely with also knew I’d had IVF.

Other than that waited til after 12 week scan

MaryShelley1818 Sat 02-Mar-19 20:30:24

We told our parents as soon as we found out at 4.5wks. It was the day we were moving house and DH didn’t want me to lift anything and I didn’t want his parents wondering why I was letting him and them do everything! Lol.

LessLivid Sat 02-Mar-19 20:32:39

I hate the 12 week thing. It inadvertently perpetuates a culture of silence and shame around miscarriage which helps nobody, certainly not women going through the most awful experience of their lives.

SpringLake Sat 02-Mar-19 20:32:55

Having to go through a hospital operation and IVF has pretty much take the surprise element out of it for us, regarding close family, close friends and work. They'll all want an update the day I test!! (so I've told a little white lie to but us a few days!) but we will wait until the first scan to relax as at increased risk of ectopic.
Not planning to tell anyone else... they'll just find out as and when.

Aria2015 Sat 02-Mar-19 20:33:55

Everyone’s different. My sister practically hopped off the loo from testing to phoning everyone lol! I was more cautious initially but after I lost a couple of pregnancies my new logic was, if i’d tell someone if something went wrong then I might as well tell them sooner rather than later so they can be on hand to support me whichever way it goes. So now I'd tell pretty early on but more for support than excited announcement.

Prisonbreak Sat 02-Mar-19 20:34:13

I told my man, my mum and my brother only. It was a very traumatic few weeks that resulted in a miscarriage. I can’t imagine how i would have coped without them. It’s been 2 years since and I still haven’t told anyone else nor do I plan to.

StinkyCandle Sat 02-Mar-19 20:35:06

I hate the 12 week thing. It inadvertently perpetuates a culture of silence and shame around miscarriage
where do you get that from? Very odd way of seeing things, sorry.

RoryLeighGilmore Sat 02-Mar-19 20:36:20

First baby - 12 week scan for everyone including parents.
Second- two friends guessed at 6 weeks (still no idea how as I wasn't showing), told parents after an 8 week scan. After 12 week scan if all ok we'll just mention to people when we see them, but won't 'announce'.

EleanorLavish Sat 02-Mar-19 20:36:24

Think I told everyone pretty soon, actually. Told my mum as soon as I found out at 6 weeks. She said better not tell everyone.
Then I started getting congratulations texts from relatives etc.
She was at a big family gathering (I couldn't go) and she told everyone, even my dad.
I wanted to be cross but she could never have children of her own (all adopted) and I think she just really wanted that moment.
Everyone knew I was pregnant before 12 weeks with each pregnancy anyway as my bumps were massive. 10 and 11 pounders grin.

PlinkPlink Sat 02-Mar-19 20:36:44

Yeah we planned to wait til 12 weeks but we were so damn excited we ended up telling our parents the next day. Far too exciting! 😂😂

To be honest, I wouldn't doubt the veracity of a hpt. As I was told, you can easily get a false negative but a false positive is rare.

Greaterthanthesumoftheparts Sat 02-Mar-19 20:36:51

We had many miscarriages and the did IUI. For or parents it was pretty much a ‘yep this one worked’ after the TWW but told siblings and nieces nephews after 12 weeks once we’d
Got past the point of the other miscarriages. Told work after 20 week scan.

CerysBeizsley Sat 02-Mar-19 20:37:31

Yes I guess everyone is different - she was so excited she clearly couldn’t wait 😁

Seline Sat 02-Mar-19 20:37:45

Who does pregnancy tests at the doctors?

My mum straight away. My husband's family not until about 11 weeks.

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