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What would you think of this text?

(190 Posts)
Chelseajunior Sat 02-Mar-19 17:19:57

Background:
Me and dp have been together 11 years, 2 dd's.
Have just found a sent message on his phone to a number I dont know saying 'I'm in car park with Gemma'.

I have never heard of a Gemma.

I've tried calling the number on withheld but switched off.

What's the best way to challenge him on this? He's at the gym and left his phone at home. I need to know what to say when he returns in an hour.

Shall I just come out with it and put him on the spot and say 'who's gemma' as soon as he walks in?

Name changed and sorry for typo's - I'm panicking!

DeadBod Sat 02-Mar-19 17:22:45

To clarify, did he send the message? If so, when was it and where was he supposed to be.

TyneTeas Sat 02-Mar-19 17:23:50

When was it sent, where would he have been at the time?

TokyoSushi Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:13

Could Gemma be somebody from work? I'd say it would be more suspicious if he was texting a random Gemma than if he was telling somebody else he was with her...

GottenGottenGotten Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:29

'challenge him'?

Do you have reason to suspect he's up to something?

What time of day was it?would he have vav at work?

Could he have been out for a smoke, with another colleague?

If something untoward was going on, do you think he would be texting someone else?

Cranky17 Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:47

Go through the rest of his phone, take screen shots, look in deleted photos and the frequently visited places (he might not have turned it off)

Chelseajunior Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:51

Yes he sent the message to someone else stating that he was with Gemma.

It was at 1.30am.
He was out in town with his friends.

HollowTalk Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:55

Is he actually at the gym? Do you have any way of finding that out, eg driving past and seeing whether his car's there?

mynameiscalypso Sat 02-Mar-19 17:25:55

I would think absolutely nothing about it at all.

furrybadger Sat 02-Mar-19 17:26:03

I would definitely ask him but I would drop it into conversation and say something and ask if he knows anyone called Gemma, see what his reply is

sewingbeezer Sat 02-Mar-19 17:26:11

Don't do anything.
Gemma could be a work colleague or could be his floozie but you need to bide your time and collect more evidence before you confront him.
Most men having affairs are very good at lying and making up plausible explanations when initially questioned.
If it's nothing, then you won't find anything else but if he's playing around the evidence will slowly mount up.

Nellieelephant Sat 02-Mar-19 17:26:18

Can you keep trying to call the number until someone picks up?

Does he work with anyone called Gemma? Maybe giving them a lift to a meeting or some other work thing?

Have you seen if he has any messages on his phone to the number?

Praiseyou Sat 02-Mar-19 17:26:42

A work colleague that he was going to a meeting with?

Is there a reason you jumped straight to the conclusion that he's cheating? Is there a backstory?

HollowTalk Sat 02-Mar-19 17:27:40

So at 1.30 am he was "in the car park with Gemma"? That's problem number 1.

Second potential problem is who was he texting, whose number wasn't stored on his phone?

Does he have any history of infidelity or general untrustworthiness?

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Sat 02-Mar-19 17:27:43

Op you need to turn detective. ... ASAP.

wellhonestly Sat 02-Mar-19 17:27:44

COuld it be predictive text for "gym"?

DeadCertain Sat 02-Mar-19 17:28:34

Could he and whoever Gemma is not just have got separated from the rest of their friends on the night out and they were meeting up again? Something like that would be my first thought if you don't have any other reason to be suspicious.

Chelseajunior Sat 02-Mar-19 17:28:36

He's not currently working.
He's studying at college.
He has a cheap £20 phone so no history or deleted stuff can be retrieved.

Yes challenge him because ive never came across some thing like this before with him

Chloemol Sat 02-Mar-19 17:28:45

If he was out with friends is Gemma one? Or is she the partner of one?

M4J4 Sat 02-Mar-19 17:29:24

1.30am is a bit suspect.

Is it a group of male friends he's out with?

ChakiraChakra Sat 02-Mar-19 17:29:40

If it was 1.30am and he was drunk it could mean anyways anybody! Did you not see any incoming messages from that number?

M4J4 Sat 02-Mar-19 17:29:58

Are you paying for everything as he's not working?

Omzlas Sat 02-Mar-19 17:30:12

Any other suspicious behaviour? Why were you looking on his phone to start with? Does he have form for this?

Nellieelephant Sat 02-Mar-19 17:30:16

It sounds like Gemma is a mate and he was texting another mate when having a night out.

Maybe the group got split up and they were trying to meet up again?

If Gemma was a ONS or similar then would he use her name when texting a mate? If she was a ONS then the mate probably wouldn’t even know who Gemma was. It sounds much more plausible that Gemma is mates with them all.

slappinthebass Sat 02-Mar-19 17:30:52

It being half 1 in the morning on a night out is pretty relevant information. Does he usually only go out with 'lads'? or does he just exclude you? I always find the lads only night out dynamic very odd and toxic. Does he smoke?

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