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To advise my daughter to marry rich.

(309 Posts)
miyty Sat 02-Mar-19 14:25:10

Ok hear me out.

I will be advising my daughters to look at a person's job and prospects and to really think about what life will look like with someone in a poorly paid career/ job.

Im not saying that this is the main focus- not at all. Merely it is something to definitely think strong and hard about.

Looking at all my friends and family. The ones that are financially well off and have a lot more life choices for themselves and a better quality of life for their kids too have married men who have very good jobs. They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

MadameJimJam Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:01

I would bring her up to get a good education and have a good career.

a) This is the right thing to do anyway for her life.

b) It will further your plan by making it massively more likely that she will meet lots of high-earning men.

presentcontinuous Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:16

My first marriage was to a man with good prospects who has indeed turned out to be well paid and very comfortably off. It didn't stop him trying to be an arse over money when we divorced.

So my advice to my children, boy and girl, is to ensure that they are able to support themselves independently and comfortably at any time (even if they choose not to when they have young children).

None of this marrying money bollocks. Earn your own.

longearedbat Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:30

It sounds like the sort of advice a parent would have given 60 years ago. I think it's very sad that today, when there are so many wonderful careers with excellent salaries available, a young woman should be advised that her best option for a good life is to live it through a marriage to someone rich.
Never! Be independent, do your own thing, be happy and fulfilled. A marriage is not essential for these things, it's just the icing on the cake, providing it's a happy marriage of course...

MitziK Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:31

I'd advise against taking in a cocklodger, no matter how much they love them - so marry a kind 'worker' who loves you and you love would be my recommendation.

'Rich' doesn't mean happiness, any more than 'Poor' means unhappiness. Kindness, however, along with being prepared to put their joint welfare (including paying the bills together), makes any marriage more likely to work in the long term.

swingofthings Sat 02-Mar-19 14:41:32

So many posts on here defending feminism and women's rights and then you get this. Pathetic! This is why there are so many women in very unhappy marriages, trapped because they value luxuries above their self-esteem.

Drogosnextwife Sat 02-Mar-19 14:42:36

I have definitely read this before. YABU encourage your daughter to earn her own money so if shit hits the fan in the marriage she will be able to take care of herself and her children. Never rely on anyone for anything.

Ellisandra Sat 02-Mar-19 14:42:56

I earn £80K.
My first husband earned £80K.
Happy days.
Except it wasn’t - he was a cheat.
As I earned well, I was able to up and leave.

My second husband earns £20K.
We are very happy.

- be self sufficient
- marry a good man
- if you find you made a mistake on (2), see (1)

MulderitsmeX Sat 02-Mar-19 14:43:39

Not millionnaire rich but tbh agree, especially if she wants to be a sahm

ChanklyBore Sat 02-Mar-19 14:43:53

I’ll be raising my daughter to take responsibility for herself and her own choices, and always take legal advice before entering into any contract.

IF she wants to get married (big IF) and IF she is straight (another big IF)

Mammyloveswine Sat 02-Mar-19 14:44:24

My husband is not well educated and earns less than I do even though I'm.part time... and you know what? It doesn't matter!

I'm proud that I've worked hard through school and university so that actually I would be fine on my own.

At times I do resent my husband for not having higher ambitions but he's an amazing father and loving husband so I give myself a good talking to

Quietrebel Sat 02-Mar-19 14:46:25

You should advise her to become rich. Then she'll have all the choices...

Awrite Sat 02-Mar-19 14:46:27

Bloody hell - why would you want your daughters to be dependent on a man? Disparity in earning power will actually give them fewer choices.

They will be the ones to take career hits as their husband's job will entail long hours and will be oh so important.

For me, parity in earning power will more likely lead to a balance of 'wife work'. It does in my house anyway.

My advice to my daughter is to be financially independent and pay into a good pension scheme.

Espressomartin Sat 02-Mar-19 14:49:37

My son is a high earner with potential to be a huge earner. He’s studied and worked hard. He tends to veer towards like minded women who have achieved similar. Independence is extremely attractive

thecatsthecats Sat 02-Mar-19 14:51:51

Advise all children not to let lust and love get in the way of making mutually desirable life choices together with their partner. Be clear sighted about financial choices you make together. I am always astounded reading threads where the OP and their partner have waltzed into marriage and babies without proper discussion with the person they choose to do it with.

Wealth is irrelevant when a saver marries a spender...

AnnaMagnani Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:06

My DH was a high earner when I met him.

Now he earns zero and is disabled.

But he is kind and he loves me. And that is worth more than money.

I suggest you advise your daughter on how to create her own career and how to choose a partner who is kind and not an abuser or a cocklodger.

ghostyslovesheets Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:24

Advise your daughter to stand on her own too feet and build a life for herself that does not depend on another income - then marry someone that makes her happy ffs

also The Daily Mail are cunts - just saying

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:46

I'll be telling my daughters that they need to

A) work hard at school so that they can earn good wages and be comfortable.

B) find a partner who shares that. Has a good stable job and income to build a life on.

Giraffesinscarves Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:06

I will be advising my son to marry someone who is as equally hardworking and ambitious as himself not someone is looking to freeload off him.

With that advice in their heads your daughters may end up shooting themselves in the foot.

DorindaLestrange Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:09

YABVU.

No use landing a "high earner" who may or may not continue earning.

Go for inherited wealth only, darling.

Funkyfunkybeat12 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:26

The ones who are well off now but have no careers would be fucked if their husbands left them. Which is statistically likely to happen to some of them. So, it's pretty dumb to advise your daughter to put her eggs in a flimsy basket that only takes a paper-form and a few hundred quid to dissolve. How about telling her to work hard and have an exciting career.

altiara Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:27

I’d advise my DD and DS to marry someone that shares their values and yes, if they want to be financially comfortable, they take responsibility for that themselves.

Lockheart Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:54

Rich? No.

Well educated, stable, and financially responsible, yes.

Giraffesinscarves Sat 02-Mar-19 14:54:57

I'm telling my daughter to become a billionaire and be her own woman grin

Sassysolly08 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:55:13

Happiness and love are what matters. Obviously, we need money. But to be content in a relationship with another person and be happy with a life that may not be the 'airs and graces' of a rich person. Rich in love and caring, rich in kindness and thoughtfulness. To find love is rich within your soul. Money can't buy love.

FrostedSnowdrops Sat 02-Mar-19 14:55:23

I agree with everyone else, get her focused on her own career and working out what salary she needs to live how she wants to.

I earn more than my DH.

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