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To advise my daughter to marry rich.

(309 Posts)
miyty Sat 02-Mar-19 14:25:10

Ok hear me out.

I will be advising my daughters to look at a person's job and prospects and to really think about what life will look like with someone in a poorly paid career/ job.

Im not saying that this is the main focus- not at all. Merely it is something to definitely think strong and hard about.

Looking at all my friends and family. The ones that are financially well off and have a lot more life choices for themselves and a better quality of life for their kids too have married men who have very good jobs. They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

PersonaNonGarter Sat 02-Mar-19 14:26:49

You would be better off advising her to earn well and not need a man.

What else have you armed her with? A Cordon Bleu cookery course? hmm

Sunshinegirl82 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:27:05

I'd advise to marry kind and think about their own career choices carefully.

HarperIsBazaar Sat 02-Mar-19 14:27:13

Why don’t you advise her on getting a good career so she can earn her own money?

ErictheGuineaPig Sat 02-Mar-19 14:27:50

Given that it's the 21st century, how about you encourage her to be independently well off? There is absolutely no way I'm going to encourage my girls to be dependent on a man for wealth.

Corrag Sat 02-Mar-19 14:28:24

Alternatively, maybe you could advise your daughters to consider their own careers/prospects so that can be "financially well off" without being reliant on a man.

Tigger03 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:28:56

It depends how you define ‘marry rich’ . Sole aim to marry a millionaire is not a great intention, however there is a lot to be said for marrying someone who works hard and has a stable income.

On the other hand, it is absolutely important your daughter works hard for herself. There is no guarantee she will meet someone / get married and I have a massive sense of security knowing I earn enough / have my own pension to be comfortable in my own right, and no one can take that away.

mimibunz Sat 02-Mar-19 14:29:10

Financial security is so important, at least to me, but your daughters shouldn’t ignore their own education and careers. Most rich men want their wives to be their equals in wealth and career.

ReaganSomerset Sat 02-Mar-19 14:29:23

Massive sense of deja vu. Have you posted this before?

CountessVonBoobs Sat 02-Mar-19 14:29:33

I'd advise to marry kind and think about their own career choices carefully.

^this.

A gilded cage is still a cage. She should marry a kind, hardworking person with good values who shares the load, and secure her future through being able to support herself.

ReaganSomerset Sat 02-Mar-19 14:31:24

No, wait, sorry. It was worded differently.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2899571-AIBU-to-think-we-should-encourage-our-daughters-to-marry-well

Jakethekid Sat 02-Mar-19 14:31:26

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Youmadorwhat Sat 02-Mar-19 14:31:28

No! Advise her to work hard and make her own money! I can see what you mean but all ppl are liable to Lose a job, change jobs etc etc. and just because a man earns lots doesn’t mean he is good at managing it!! So I would be teaching her to find someone who is sensible with money and has a solid head on his shoulders, someone who is kind, giving and understanding etc etc. someone with good morals, someone who is not badly tempered or abusive in any way and treats her as an equal.

nanbread Sat 02-Mar-19 14:31:32

Of course you'd be much better off advising her to work on her career rather then rely on a man, but I agree being married to a lazy person who doesn't like working wouldn't be advisable.

How can you tell what will happen though? My sister supported her low earning DH's change of career and he now does very well for himself. Other sister married a v successful guy who is also an arsehole, she had years of misery and then he left her...

Soontobe60 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:32:23

My DH has a rubbish paid job, however he works very hard, hardly has time off, has supported me when I've worked extra, been a great husband and dad.
My 2 DDs have chosen men with different prospects, but nothing men are devoted to my DDs, work hard, support them and they are all very happy. My DDs were brought up to be very independent, and they are.

TwoRoundabouts Sat 02-Mar-19 14:32:44

Encourage your daughters to be self-sufficient in their earnings and to marry someone who is kind if they get married.

My mother found out the hard way due to being widowed in her early 20s what happens if you don't sort out your own career and earning potential. Other women I know and have worked with, have found out if they marry rich they can easy marry someone who is abusive including financially so when they get divorced they are left with SFA.

Oh and male dominated professions tend to have a higher earning potential.

itbemay1 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:33:14

I have advised my dd to be financially independent and forward thinking.

NoSquirrels Sat 02-Mar-19 14:33:29

They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

Advise them not to be these people. That'd be better.

CalmDownPacino Sat 02-Mar-19 14:33:41

How about advising her to work hard at school and college and get a good job so she has her own money. Geez what year is it.

gwenneh Sat 02-Mar-19 14:33:55

It's the running joke among my single friends that I head "the Committee" and that prospective romantic partners for them better be ready to submit a resume and have an interview.

It's not "marry rich" so much as it is "date someone who treats their career and opportunities the same way you treat yours." but if we're looking at it cynically, sure, it could be seen as "marry rich."

Bluntness100 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:34:05

Seriously?

I advised my daughter to study hard and go into a lucrative profession she loved and to marry for love.

Each to their own.

Newyearnewname2019 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:34:36

I have two daughters. I will be advising them to marry someone they're happy with. Someone who would be their best friend and love them. I will also be advising them to earn their own money.

FraggleRocking Sat 02-Mar-19 14:38:35

Or your daughters could focus on their own advancement. Then maybe one day down the line those qualities will attract someone who shares their values.

EmeraldShamrock Sat 02-Mar-19 14:38:46

No, not necessarily rich or middle class.
I am not encouraging them to aim for things we're not, if they find someone they love rich or middle class great.
I will advise my DC to work hard, go to college, I'll support them.
I will definitely advise them to seek a responsible reliable partner, someone who will work hard for their family but is kind, loving.
You do not need to be rich, just comfortable.

berrybubbles Sat 02-Mar-19 14:38:52

I wouldn’t advise marry rich, but I’d definitely advise not to enter into a relationship with someone that’s unemployed!

MadameJimJam Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:01

I would bring her up to get a good education and have a good career.

a) This is the right thing to do anyway for her life.

b) It will further your plan by making it massively more likely that she will meet lots of high-earning men.

presentcontinuous Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:16

My first marriage was to a man with good prospects who has indeed turned out to be well paid and very comfortably off. It didn't stop him trying to be an arse over money when we divorced.

So my advice to my children, boy and girl, is to ensure that they are able to support themselves independently and comfortably at any time (even if they choose not to when they have young children).

None of this marrying money bollocks. Earn your own.

longearedbat Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:30

It sounds like the sort of advice a parent would have given 60 years ago. I think it's very sad that today, when there are so many wonderful careers with excellent salaries available, a young woman should be advised that her best option for a good life is to live it through a marriage to someone rich.
Never! Be independent, do your own thing, be happy and fulfilled. A marriage is not essential for these things, it's just the icing on the cake, providing it's a happy marriage of course...

MitziK Sat 02-Mar-19 14:40:31

I'd advise against taking in a cocklodger, no matter how much they love them - so marry a kind 'worker' who loves you and you love would be my recommendation.

'Rich' doesn't mean happiness, any more than 'Poor' means unhappiness. Kindness, however, along with being prepared to put their joint welfare (including paying the bills together), makes any marriage more likely to work in the long term.

swingofthings Sat 02-Mar-19 14:41:32

So many posts on here defending feminism and women's rights and then you get this. Pathetic! This is why there are so many women in very unhappy marriages, trapped because they value luxuries above their self-esteem.

Drogosnextwife Sat 02-Mar-19 14:42:36

I have definitely read this before. YABU encourage your daughter to earn her own money so if shit hits the fan in the marriage she will be able to take care of herself and her children. Never rely on anyone for anything.

Ellisandra Sat 02-Mar-19 14:42:56

I earn £80K.
My first husband earned £80K.
Happy days.
Except it wasn’t - he was a cheat.
As I earned well, I was able to up and leave.

My second husband earns £20K.
We are very happy.

- be self sufficient
- marry a good man
- if you find you made a mistake on (2), see (1)

MulderitsmeX Sat 02-Mar-19 14:43:39

Not millionnaire rich but tbh agree, especially if she wants to be a sahm

ChanklyBore Sat 02-Mar-19 14:43:53

I’ll be raising my daughter to take responsibility for herself and her own choices, and always take legal advice before entering into any contract.

IF she wants to get married (big IF) and IF she is straight (another big IF)

Mammyloveswine Sat 02-Mar-19 14:44:24

My husband is not well educated and earns less than I do even though I'm.part time... and you know what? It doesn't matter!

I'm proud that I've worked hard through school and university so that actually I would be fine on my own.

At times I do resent my husband for not having higher ambitions but he's an amazing father and loving husband so I give myself a good talking to

Quietrebel Sat 02-Mar-19 14:46:25

You should advise her to become rich. Then she'll have all the choices...

Awrite Sat 02-Mar-19 14:46:27

Bloody hell - why would you want your daughters to be dependent on a man? Disparity in earning power will actually give them fewer choices.

They will be the ones to take career hits as their husband's job will entail long hours and will be oh so important.

For me, parity in earning power will more likely lead to a balance of 'wife work'. It does in my house anyway.

My advice to my daughter is to be financially independent and pay into a good pension scheme.

Espressomartin Sat 02-Mar-19 14:49:37

My son is a high earner with potential to be a huge earner. He’s studied and worked hard. He tends to veer towards like minded women who have achieved similar. Independence is extremely attractive

thecatsthecats Sat 02-Mar-19 14:51:51

Advise all children not to let lust and love get in the way of making mutually desirable life choices together with their partner. Be clear sighted about financial choices you make together. I am always astounded reading threads where the OP and their partner have waltzed into marriage and babies without proper discussion with the person they choose to do it with.

Wealth is irrelevant when a saver marries a spender...

AnnaMagnani Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:06

My DH was a high earner when I met him.

Now he earns zero and is disabled.

But he is kind and he loves me. And that is worth more than money.

I suggest you advise your daughter on how to create her own career and how to choose a partner who is kind and not an abuser or a cocklodger.

ghostyslovesheets Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:24

Advise your daughter to stand on her own too feet and build a life for herself that does not depend on another income - then marry someone that makes her happy ffs

also The Daily Mail are cunts - just saying

Thesnobbymiddleclassone Sat 02-Mar-19 14:52:46

I'll be telling my daughters that they need to

A) work hard at school so that they can earn good wages and be comfortable.

B) find a partner who shares that. Has a good stable job and income to build a life on.

Giraffesinscarves Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:06

I will be advising my son to marry someone who is as equally hardworking and ambitious as himself not someone is looking to freeload off him.

With that advice in their heads your daughters may end up shooting themselves in the foot.

DorindaLestrange Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:09

YABVU.

No use landing a "high earner" who may or may not continue earning.

Go for inherited wealth only, darling.

Funkyfunkybeat12 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:26

The ones who are well off now but have no careers would be fucked if their husbands left them. Which is statistically likely to happen to some of them. So, it's pretty dumb to advise your daughter to put her eggs in a flimsy basket that only takes a paper-form and a few hundred quid to dissolve. How about telling her to work hard and have an exciting career.

altiara Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:27

I’d advise my DD and DS to marry someone that shares their values and yes, if they want to be financially comfortable, they take responsibility for that themselves.

Lockheart Sat 02-Mar-19 14:53:54

Rich? No.

Well educated, stable, and financially responsible, yes.

Giraffesinscarves Sat 02-Mar-19 14:54:57

I'm telling my daughter to become a billionaire and be her own woman grin

Sassysolly08 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:55:13

Happiness and love are what matters. Obviously, we need money. But to be content in a relationship with another person and be happy with a life that may not be the 'airs and graces' of a rich person. Rich in love and caring, rich in kindness and thoughtfulness. To find love is rich within your soul. Money can't buy love.

FrostedSnowdrops Sat 02-Mar-19 14:55:23

I agree with everyone else, get her focused on her own career and working out what salary she needs to live how she wants to.

I earn more than my DH.

Blessthekids Sat 02-Mar-19 14:55:49

I told my daughters you don't have to marry or have children. But you will have to get a career that pays for your lifestyle!

I did marry a much higher earner than me. My dh is kind and laid back on most things but that is how things turned out, not planned. I am not sure you can ever plan these things, people lose jobs and people change.

ASurfeitOfDuncans Sat 02-Mar-19 14:56:11

Fuck that. I tell mine to develop a good skill set/jobs and support themselves and not put up with a lazy cocklodger.

Uptheapplesandpears Sat 02-Mar-19 14:56:41

Advise all children not to let lust and love get in the way of making mutually desirable life choices together with their partner. Be clear sighted about financial choices you make together.

Yes, that seems like better advice. I do think job and money are both sensible things to think about when choosing a partner, but there's a great deal more to it than what OP says. For example I'd advise mine to think carefully about being in a relationship with someone who's very high earning and into their career, because that may well mean the person is less willing to do their share of the sick days, drop offs etc when children come along. It depends what you want really.

TurquoiseWeekend Sat 02-Mar-19 14:57:22

The only advice I'd give any child for life is to do what makes them happy.

Shockers Sat 02-Mar-19 14:57:26

My Grandmother used to tell me to ‘marry for money- the love will come later.’

I don’t know why- she despised my well earning grandfather, and he didn’t think much of her either.

pointythings Sat 02-Mar-19 14:58:08

I advise my daughters to work hard, get good qualifications and always make sure they earn their own money. I also advise them to marry someone who shares their values and work ethic, and to discuss matters of children and views on parenting before getting married. Marrying rich? Not so much.

Noalarmsandnosurprises Sat 02-Mar-19 15:00:53

What a depressing OP.

SunburstsOrMarbleHalls Sat 02-Mar-19 15:01:09

I encouraged my DD 22 to be responsible and work hard when in education and to make choices that made her happy but also enabled her to become a financially independent young woman.

I would be sad if she had restricted life choices because she
was completely financially dependant on another person.

When it comes to relationships I would like her to be with someone who will emotionally support her and is kind and thoughtful. Ultimately it is her decision who she chooses to be with. She has had a boyfriend who was wealthy and selfish and who made her miserable and insecure. She is now with a lovely person who is still trying to figure out his way in life but who treats her as an equal and is considerate and caring. She is happier now than she has been for a long time.

SinkGirl Sat 02-Mar-19 15:01:41

I’d encourage them to be ambitious and determined and to value this quality in others. Set a high bar for themselves. Don’t allow themselves to be treated poorly.

AlexaShutUp Sat 02-Mar-19 15:02:19

I encourage my dd to ensure that she can provide for herself. She will then be free to marry who she chooses without worrying about that shit.

donajimena Sat 02-Mar-19 15:03:49

Are you my step daughters mother? She seems to think she needs a rich boyfriend which will be followed by a rich husband. I've told her to make sure she is never reliant on anyone but herself.

Asta19 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:04:05

Does anyone remember the thread here recently where a woman was retiring and her god daughter wanted her to provide childcare for her child? The god daughter married a man with a good career, who was an abusive asshole. He was financially abusive and all the childcare costs were going to have to come from the woman and she couldn’t afford it, hence asking her god mother for free childcare.

I remember everyone said the god daughter needed to leave this abusive man. But apparently she would not even consider it as she didn’t want to give up the big house and lifestyle. Even though she was miserable.

So no, there are many other things I would advise a daughter to look for in a man before his career. As others have said, encourage them to get their own career and then they don’t have to depend on a partner.

Chewbecca Sat 02-Mar-19 15:05:29

You’re putting them at risk of being trapped, unhappily married to someone and staying only for the lifestyle and for fear of being poor if alone.

Teach them to earn for themselves and they are free.

MrsChollySawcutt Sat 02-Mar-19 15:06:55

YABU what a patronising, sexist and dangerous load of claptrap to saddle your daughter with.

I tell my DD to never let herself be beholden to any partner, to be able to support herself and to work hard to provide the lifestyle she wants for herself.

Your attitude is what causes so many women to be financially trapped in relationships with abusive men.

LonelyandTiredandLow Sat 02-Mar-19 15:07:23

As someone who had a child with a very well paid man (who hasn't seen his daughter since she was a baby) I really don't think that this is a good idea. No, I didn't have a child with him for that reason personally but it certainly doesn't mean they will be a good family man.

Now when I look at men who can garden, do plumbing, build structures in the garden, lay flooring and tiles - generally useful and ultimately hugely cost saving projects, I would go for those over a rich workaholic any day of the week! These men spend weekends doing things to enhance family life and have skills they can teach your kids to become self-sufficient.

DC know that they will inherit. However it is far more savvy to have separate cash they have earned partly to give them a sense of self worth but also to ensure it lasts for her own children. Finding a partner who doesn't look at them as money for nothing works both ways.

Karigan195 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:11:47

Er no. Tell her to earn her own money

Purpleartichoke Sat 02-Mar-19 15:12:06

I am teaching my DD that she needs a good education and a good career. I will also advise her to partner with someone who makes similar choices.

So essentially, what the Op is saying.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Sat 02-Mar-19 15:12:29

What’s the saying? If you marry for money you end up working for it.

DD3 has already decided to marry a wealthy octogenarian to fund her through medical school. She’s 11 grin

woollyheart Sat 02-Mar-19 15:13:32

I would only give that advice if I thought my Dd was unable to have a good career herself.

If you only encourage your dds to be capable of mediocre jobs, they probably wouldn't attract a wealthy husband anyway.

icannotremember Sat 02-Mar-19 15:14:12

This is such bollocks.

PussGirl Sat 02-Mar-19 15:14:23

Marrying a rich man might solve a few problems & appear to be a great idea, but it wouldn't necessarily leave to happiness.

I look around at the handful of non-working women I know well, married to wealthy men, filling their days with tennis lessons & shopping trips & afternoon tea, every day like this & I think YAWN.

Financial independence is what is important - one's own independence, not one that's been won in a divorce court.

Switsy Sat 02-Mar-19 15:14:24

In the not too distant past people were far more pragmatic when it came to looking for a spouse. I suppose women especially had to be as their career options were so limited and it was difficult to free yourself if you found yourself in a miserable union.

Does he own his own plough and oxen?
Does he have enough supplies of corn to last a harsh winter?
Can he afford to buy me the Koh-i-Noor as a wedding gift?

LuckyLou7 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:15:20

I wouldn't encourage my DD to marry anyone for any other reason than love, let alone look at their career prospects prior to anything else. I would like her to find personal fulfilment and satisfaction in her own life and career, and not be dependent on someone else for financial security.

GenerationX2 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:19:32

I 'heard you out' and still think YA massively U. this is not the 1800's - encourage your daughter to work hard and marry a kind loving partner.

Knitclubchatter Sat 02-Mar-19 15:19:37

Nothing wrong with having a discussion on what qualities to look for in a life partner.
Wealth or potential to earn is one quality, but there are others.
But being able to support yourself is of primary importance.

Switsy Sat 02-Mar-19 15:19:40

for any other reason than love, let alone look at their career prospects prior to anything else.

Obviously love is the biggie but nothing wrong with wanting someone who's ambitious and on the same page as you.

MRex Sat 02-Mar-19 15:20:05

My parents advised us to get a good education and a career. We all did and are more than capable of looking after ourselves. What's needed in a partner is a shared sense of humour, kindness and spare goals.

Targeting a man for money is degrading, pathetic and more likely to lead to problems.

MRex Sat 02-Mar-19 15:21:02

*shared goals, not spare

TitsAndTomatoes Sat 02-Mar-19 15:21:43

Maybe you shouldnt tell her to do anything except work hard and graft her own career. Be independent. Have your own financial security. And when she does, she will most likley find a partner with similar outlook in life to her. That's how itll work!

Money isnt everything. DH proposed when i was on a 14k a year trainee wage. We managed to buy a house, get married, have 3 luxury holidays, further our careers and have a baby in the 4 years since. I think id have told him to fuck off to the far side off fuck if his attitue was to nit marry me till i earned what im on now.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant Sat 02-Mar-19 15:22:06

I would advise her never to become financially dependant on a man, to earn her keep and to always ensure she can provide for the kids she chooses to have so she can provide for her family of things turn bad, so she can leave if her marriage if things turn bad.

I would be advising my son to look for an equal, for someone to pulls her weight as proper women do.

TatianaLarina Sat 02-Mar-19 15:22:54

One off poster or journalist? hmm

SilverySurfer Sat 02-Mar-19 15:23:00

How depressing. We live in the 21st Century and your only ambition for your DD is that she marries someone rich. No matter if he's an abuser or a cheater, you obviously don't care as long as he's rich. hmm

I pretty much agree with everyone else, equip her to work towards making herself rich.

AppleCrisps Sat 02-Mar-19 15:25:56

They themselves are mostly in mediocre jobs and a few of them have never even worked.

Fantastic goal for your daughter to strive for, OP! Bloody ridiculous.

Stickerrocks Sat 02-Mar-19 15:28:15

OP has left the building...

Shootfirstaskquestionslater Sat 02-Mar-19 15:28:49

How about advising your daughters to work hard and get good jobs that gives them a good living instead of sponging off other people. Money isn’t the be all and end all.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sat 02-Mar-19 15:29:34

Are you even for real?

If so, I'm sorry that you have daughters, you are doing them an enormous disservice. I hope your husband, if you has one, doesn't realise what a vapid, silly woman he's tethered himself to.

MrHaroldFry Sat 02-Mar-19 15:30:21

Oh my! What fundamentally flawed thinking you have. You should encourage her to do work that is meaningful to her and hopefully pays well. She may choose to be the breadwinner; by choice not by generational stereotypes. In essence she should be, and be encouraged to be the best she can be in all areas of her life. They should be each other's cheer squad!
She should marry someone she likes and loves knowing she will have a full partner who will shoulder the domestic drudgery 50/50. She should marry someone unfailing kind and caring.

My motto is, it is better to not marry at all than to marry the wrong person!

Uptheapplesandpears Sat 02-Mar-19 15:30:29

I remember that goddaughter childcare one. It was chilling.

NotSureThisIsWhatIWant Sat 02-Mar-19 15:30:47

By the way, I’m saying this as the ex wife of a rich man. We were never so happy as when we were in an equal footing. As soon I became a SAHM everything went out of balance, volunteering or working part time in shitty jobs that could be done in school hours didn’t do anything to bring my then husband’s respect or my self esteem back.

I am now happily enjoying life with a man who struggles with money from time to time as much as I do, so I have become a team member rather than “wifey-doesn’t-get-it”. And I don’t have to tell anyone that I’m “staying for the sake of the children”, I’m free to leave at any time 😉

NameChanger22 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:31:52

I'm advising mine to do what I did - buy a house young, be mortgage free by 30, be self-sufficient and never marry (unless she happens to meet a million who is also kind and generous and wants to share everything - the chances of this are very slim).

GreatWesternValkyrie Sat 02-Mar-19 15:32:01

Do you have a son Op? Do tell us what you’re advising him 🤯

NameChanger22 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:32:55

*millionaire.

Sparklesocks Sat 02-Mar-19 15:34:09

I’d rather teach my daughter the importance of finding a career and retaining financial independence so she can marry for love.

Crinkle77 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:34:18

I would rather be with someone less well paid but happy than someone rich but he miserable.

Switsy Sat 02-Mar-19 15:36:04

I'm advising mine to do what I did - buy a house young, be mortgage free by 30, be self-sufficient and never marry

I mean that's quite limiting too. Realistically how many people can expect to be mortgage free by 30? Unless you buy somewhere where houses are really cheap but then these places tend to be economically depressed so not great for the career. And never marry?

FuzzyShadowChatter Sat 02-Mar-19 15:36:18

I don't think it's wrong to be somewhat practically minded. As others have said, financially responsible behaviour and similar/compatible values around money and careers I think are one solid part of good long term relationships. One only has to look at the relationship forum here to see the mess money issues cause many and how quickly love flickers in such situations.

I wouldn't specifically look at career prospects - I know only a few people who are still doing now what they were doing or were training to do 10 or so years ago. Some of that is difficult times, but those who have a good attitude to dealing with money well and in coping with change works even if having to deal with the difficulties of being out of work.

I very much wouldn't think it's reasonable to specifically say to marry rich. That comes across as very cynical and trying to explain ones' own choices rather than advice. When I was younger, some women like my mother who would say things like 'it's just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man' but more than a few of them were miserable in relationships with men with high paying jobs. There were a lot odd idioms around marriage - like the previously mentioned 'marry for wealth and you'll work for it' and 'marry a man who loves you more than you love him' usually with discussions of how you'll excuse their bullshit less that way. It was a very odd place for relationship advice.

Oliversmumsarmy Sat 02-Mar-19 15:36:46

My advice is to be self sufficient and marry someone who is hardworking and has ambition and will do anything for you

KatharinaRosalie Sat 02-Mar-19 15:36:57

Daily Mail OP hasn't been back I see

Oliversmumsarmy Sat 02-Mar-19 15:37:16

If you marry purely for money you will earn every penny

Bishalisha Sat 02-Mar-19 15:37:27

YABU.

You’d be better off putting an emphasis on the importance of education, focusing on a rewarding and well paid career that makes them happy, always aiming to be financially independent and not settling for just anyone.

Your mates in their mediocre jobs or who have never worked will be right up shit creek if their husbands decide to leave, turn out abusive, or die unexpectedly

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