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To ask for the funniest thing your dc have done

(38 Posts)
Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 13:25:25

Mine is only 6 months but still does some pretty funny things. I turned my head for a second and he had grabbed my packet of crisps and ripped open the packet so it went all over my bed -.- then just laughed his head off. my initial reaction was to put my hand in my head and just laugh. I can't wait till he's at the age where he says all the funny things that kids do. What's your funny kids story's?

Handsfull13 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:13:36

Yesterday I attempted to catch up on washing so all the kids clothes were still in the tumble dryer when I was getting my 2yo twins ready for bed. I had to use the back up pjs that are short sleeved once they were dressed they both looked at me and kept repeating 'uh oh' and pulling on they're sleeves. I couldn't find the wording to explain their sleeves don't come down their arms.

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:15:28

@Handsfull13 that's the kind of things I can't wait for 😂😂

Whatsername7 Sat 02-Mar-19 14:38:10

When mt eldest was potty training, she wondered into the living room whilst I was making lunch. I went into find her sat on the settee rolling a lump of shit into a ball. As I walked in, she lifted it up and said 'look, mummy; chocolate!' Wasnt funny at the time. Her dad plans to work it into his speech on her wedding day.

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:42:46

@Whatsername7 really ??😂

Whatsername7 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:48:41

Yep. Kids eh?

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:52:43

They really do do the funniest things

Keewee27 Sat 02-Mar-19 15:55:49

Ds2 (aged 4) was a water birth. He knows this and was asking the other day who pulled him out of the water. DP said that he did. Ds asked whether he'd come out with a noodle!!! (Long foam tube the helps kids float for those of you that may give it another name)
grin

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 18:11:14

@Keewee27 a fair question I guess 😂😂

Anothertimesoon Sat 02-Mar-19 18:13:48

My dd2 used to follow dh round everywhere he went for a wee one time and she followed him in and shouted “daddy why are you weeing from your finger” we still laugh about it all the time!!!

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 18:47:25

@Anothertimesoon what did he tell her 😂

Nathansmommy1 Sat 02-Mar-19 18:56:56

Put ds down for a nap when he was about 18 months, had the monitor on and all was quiet. Went down to check on him half hour later and he was standing up in the cot covered head to toe in emulsifying lotion. He reached the pot from the bedside table, opened it and covered himself and his cot. Couldn't help but to laugh at him. Tried to pick him up to wash him and he was just so slippery, the water did no use just slid right off him grin

Queenofthestress Sat 02-Mar-19 19:00:28

I have a potty training one, DS was late to start so he was 4, he'd never been in a loo with a bloke before, but decided to follow dp in to the loo

obviously we've done the whole boys have willies bit, so he walked in, looked at dp weeing, walked out, lifted his top, looked down and shouted Willy! As loud as you can get

all I could hear was the neighbours pissing themselves lauging in their kitchen accross the way

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 19:17:06

@Nathansmommy1 that's my favourite I think! At least he didn't eat it!!!

Riri1980 Sat 02-Mar-19 19:17:35

@Queenofthestress 😂😂😂 bless him!

Anothertimesoon Sat 02-Mar-19 19:23:26

@riri he didn’t know what to say she was only 2 😂😂

Theducksarenotmyfriends Sat 02-Mar-19 19:32:31

My two year old wouldn't leave the butchers because she wanted to "give him a kiss". Apparently simply blowing him a kiss wasn't enough. She settled, eventually, for a wave and a little dance. She also asked the guy in the shop next door for a job!

HeyAssbutt Sat 02-Mar-19 19:39:52

I have one from tonight! My dd 3.8 is learning the alphabet and what words start with the letters. We got to P and I said "p for?" Dd said "I dont know" so I said "pr....." and dd finished it with "ick" I laughed so much. I've never said that in front of her. I was going for princess 😂

Layza101 Sat 02-Mar-19 19:50:48

My 3 year old got off the bus with me and said 'thanks love' grin another time, on the damn bus him and his brother were sharing a seat and my eldest got up to move and squashed the little one a bit, so he shouts 'ow, you've squashed my nuggets and my willy' blush
He's currently got the chicken pox, so he's all spotty, bless him.

showmewhatyougot Sat 02-Mar-19 19:59:26

I told my DS3 not to wee in the bath as it's dirty and naughty (he kept asking if he was allowed)

The logical mind he is, decides he will make this dream of his happen, so he pees in his "most bestest" cup, then pour that into the bath!

therefor not peeing into the bath and not being dirty or naughty.

TeachesOfPeaches Sat 02-Mar-19 20:05:15

3 year old walking up to me after br did a poo and asking me to wipe his bum because 'it stinks'

AlmostAJillSandwich Sat 02-Mar-19 20:09:22

2 years old, on holiday in wales, picked up by an aunt to take a group picture. Later on, aunt reaches into her pocket, pulls out a turd. Only explanation could be thought of, was it escaped the nappy during being held for the picture. So, basically, shit in someones pocket.

mimi14 Sat 02-Mar-19 20:42:18

Today my 3 year old said "why has Peppa pig got a tail?" And I said "because all pigs have tails". She thought for a moment then said "when I'm a pig can I have a tail?" 🤣

Myusernameismud Sat 02-Mar-19 20:47:38

DS was about 6 when he coloured his entire hand in with a silver sharpie because he wanted a 'titanium bionic hand' which he'd seen on ninjago or something. Took weeks to finally erase all trace of silver.

DNephew was 5 when I was pregnant with DD. He'd ask all sorts of questions while he sat there with his hands on my belly feeling her move. Then one day he piped up with 'has it got toys in there?' grin

OneBiscuitAtATime Sat 02-Mar-19 20:58:02

DS3 and I have been chatting a lot about physical differences since his baby sister came along. Sat on DSD21s knee the other day he pipes up “Are you a Mummy? Do you have boobies?” and proceeds to have a poke.

IHeartKingThistle Sat 02-Mar-19 20:59:22

When DD was 3 DH was running her a bath. She went into the bathroom and he said to her 'Are you ready for your bath?' She fixed him with a withering look and said 'Well - AM I naked?'

HarrietSchulenberg Sat 02-Mar-19 21:12:13

Ds1 was not quite 2 when he quietly took himself off to the bathroom to clean his teeth. With the toilet brush.

Ds2 used to lick anything glass, so basically shop counters etc. He stopped not long after he stuck his tongue to a freezer door in Iceland and I had to defrost it off by blowing on it.

Ds3 hated pooing and used to get really distressed. He was about 2 when we were in the library one day and suddenly realised one was about to happen. He stood stock still, gripped the nearest shelf and bellowed, "POO COMING! BIIIIG POO COMING!" Every face in the library turned to find out what was happening, as did passers by from the Friday market who'd heard him through the plate glass windows.

They're 18, 16 and 11 now and that brings its own set of "hilarious" challenges.

Minimamame Sat 02-Mar-19 21:30:46

Last week ds1 had a vomiting bug. While he was sick ds2 asked how the Germans got in. I was confused for a minute until I realised he meant germs. The next day he asked if ds1 was better now and when I said yes he asked if that means the Germans are all gone now 🤣

KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree Sat 02-Mar-19 21:57:34

Stole a raw potato from the shopping bag, crawled off to the living room and started eating it like an apple.

Eldest (was 4 ish at the time) tried to change the youngest's (aged about 2 or so) nappy - opened the old one, wiped the bum, put cream on etc and put new nappy on. Actually did a surprisingly good job apart from not fastening it up tight enough! Luckily it wasn't a pooey one... grin

Put their hand in some soapy water in Lush. Their skin was blue for the rest of the day!

Bit into a piece of soap in Lush that looked like a cake. They quickly spat it out! I stopped going to that shop for a while until they were older grin

StepAwayFromGoogle Sat 02-Mar-19 22:09:19

Took DD1(4) and DD2 (10 months) into work to meet everyone last week. One of the girls in the team is heavily pregnant so I said to DD1 "do you think that lady has a baby in her tummy?" at which point she decided to walk up to a totally unrelated, very slim, other woman in another team and started stroking her tummy.

thaegumathteth Sat 02-Mar-19 22:13:12

Dd (8) recently shouted across the playground at school pick up ‘mummy can we go to the GUM doctor?’

She had a sore gum and for some reason thought there was a specific doctor for the issue.

Geekster1963 Sat 02-Mar-19 22:15:54

DD was around four and we were in a waiting room at the hospital and she pointed to the wall and said at the top of her voice 'look at big cock on the wall'! (It was a clock)

Onescaredmuma Sat 02-Mar-19 22:18:21

Oh I have so many of these most recently I heat my poor DH rather distressed while giving our 16 mo a bath. He had been wondering where DS got the brown toy for a while before realising DS had pood in the bath and was playing with it envy (not envy)
DD2 went through a fase of being absolutely certain she was pooing diamonds and kept asking me to check the toilet as she'd pood a diamond in there!!
Dd1 had problems saying R and was obsessed with Jake and the never land pirates and tick tock crock, so she made a crock out of lego while on face time with my PILs she kept saying I love cock I give it cuddles while cuddling her lego toy my MIL looked mortified I've never hear my FIL laugh so hard blush

Riri1980 Sun 03-Mar-19 08:05:45

@KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree how funny, apparently I used to take potatoes out of the cupboard and eat them roar too!

notfunnyhaha85 Sun 03-Mar-19 08:23:29

2 year old DS did this the other day.

He was playing in the garden and got mud on his hand. He started waving it at me and saying 'yuck!' so I told him to just wipe his hand on his leg. He wasn't getting it at all so I rubbed my leg and said 'do it like this'. He then walked up to me and wiped his muddy hand over my thigh, just like I'd demonstrated...

My favourite from when DD was little was at a wedding, in the ladies loo. I'd just finished taking her to the toilet and we were standing at the sink washing our hands when she turned to a random wedding guest and informed her that 'mummy and daddy wipe my vagina'. It was a true statement but no idea why she felt the need to announce it to the entire room.

YouWinAgain Sun 03-Mar-19 18:28:51

In the Doctors with DD aged 3 a few weeks. And a man who has brown skin walks in.

At the top of her voice DD points at him and shouts "Mummy why is that man covered in chocolate?"

The waiting room fell deadly silent, thankfully the man chuckled and said "I wish I was covered in chocolate, that would be quite nice".

Mumtoone39 Sun 03-Mar-19 18:38:32

My son aged 3 1/2 announced in mcdonalds (no judgment please) to the surrounding tables "my mummy has drugs". (I am a vet). He also thinks santa has reindeer called George and Doris - because I treated these reindeer at a local farm that does Christmas experiences. One of the worst things he has done is shout "what's that in the box " when he saw a coffin coming out of a church. (so embarrassed). He tends to chat to people - I panic inwardly as you're never just sure what he's going to say.

flowersaremyfave Sun 03-Mar-19 18:50:56

The other day I asked my 4.5 year old if she could grab her sisters dummy off the table and give it to her because she can't reach and I was carrying a huge basket of washing down the stairs. She huffed and puffed, put her hands on her head and said "I don't get a minutes peace in this house" 😳 she a bit dramatic...

If her older teenage siblings tell her off for anything she puts one hand on her hip and the other one pointing at them and goes.." so are you the mum now 😐" 🙈

She's hilarious and is just naturally funny.
I swear shes been here before.

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