Inheritance awkward situation(111 Posts)
Just wondering if I could get an outsider's perspective on a complicated/awkward inheritance situation.
My Spanish mum died when I was young. Her parents have just died and have left me in their will to inherit an eighth of their estate consisting of a couple of houses and some land in Spain. My 7 aunts and uncles have also inherited an eighth.
The houses/land are obviously difficult to divide up between 8 so the aunts/uncles would like to assign 2/3 people to each thing. Each share is worth around 30k euros.
I'm very touched grandparents left me in the will to take on what would have been my mum's part. However, I strongly get the feeling my aunts/uncles what me to reject my part. I think they feel I'm less deserving as a grandchild rather than child. They have been saying some things which I feel are to try and put me off. Such as, suggesting the tax is going to be a headache for me to sort out between Spain and UK. One of my aunts has also offered me to inherit the material goods such as furniture instead of actual property - she says in order to relieve me of all the paperwork which is going to be a nightmare.
Part of me is thinking shall I just reject it in order to avoid arguments? Falling out over it isn't worth it to me and I'd rather loose my share than do this. I would be devastated if it all ended sourly. I've visited them every year since I was 10 to maintain the connection and they're all the family I've got left on my mum's side.
A couple of things to consider are that the 7 of them have been sorting all the paperwork/dealing with paperwork which has been very stressful for them. I haven't done any of this as I'm in the UK. So is it fair for me to get same share as them when they're putting all the work in? Also, they looked after my grandparents throughout old age and no doubt spent lots of money on their care. I haven't asked them about this as they are quite cagey about it all. However, I know my mum used to send money back home in the 80s and contributed to a flat the grandparents bought. No idea how much. I think she would want me to take on her part to represent her. And I'm guessing when my aunts/uncles die they will want their children to inherit their part.
Any ideas on what seems fair? Very tricky/awkward situation. Another thing I've just remembered is that when I visited recently they gave me 500 euros between them as a present for my newborn daughter. I'm just wondering if they were implying a pay off. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. It's so hard as I don't feel they're being straight with me.
Thanks in advance
Definitely take your share, your grandparents wanted you to have it and as you say your cousins will inherit from their parents share
No dealing with paperwork entitles you yo no more just as not dealing entitles you to no less
The property division seems suspicious to me, all property gets sold/valued and split between 8 surely
Definitely don't be fobbed off with furniture either no way
Be nice but firm, maybe seek legal advice here?
Your grandparents wanted you to inherit an eighth of their estate. The 500 Euros was a gift to your daughter; I'd take that at face value. If they were implying a pay off they would have given it to you...
It does sound a very awkward situation though.
I agree with everything Calm has said.
Of course you should have your share, but I think the whole estate needs to be valued, properties sold (they can sell the furniture too then if they think it is worth it) and then the estate, in total get equally divided.
I know nothing about the law in Spain, but can't help thinking, if your Grandparents left a will, then that will must be adhered to.
What your grandparents have done is actually very normal - all to their children but if one child dies before then that persons child inherits their share
It’s also pretty normal for some people to deal with the assets and others not. I would go with your grandparents wishes
Don't let them diddle you out of your legitimate share.
All should be valued and you are entitled to the share left to you.
Your grandparents have done the right thing and if they had died in the uk (I can't comment on Spanish law) without a will then you would have gotten your mums share. Don't let them take your share, your mums share from you.
Think about what you said in your Op, that 'the relatives would want their children to inherit their part when they pass away', just like your Mum would have wanted you to inherit her part.
And consequently your part will be passed to your children. If you are feeling pushed into declining, consider looking at it as part of your children's inheritance. Does that make you feel a bit more protective of your share when looking at it that way?
Take your inheritance, it was your grand parents wishes for you to have it.
£30 is more significant to you than if it were divided between your aunts and uncles and divided by 7.
The paper work maybe a pain but when there's a will it's hardly going to be a nightmare, they're over exaggerating.
I think that you should take your share, as it’s what the GPs wanted, and you represent your mother too.
Don’t be fobbed off with the bits of furniture, what would you do with it all for one thing?
It sounds as though the aunts and uncles aren’t going to sell up, but are going to keep the properties and land divided up between small groups of them, is that right?
If that’s so, wait until you know which property you are getting and who you share it with, then ask them to buy you out. The cash will be more use to you than a third share of a house in Spain.
Also think how complicated it will get as the older generation pass away and the property has an increasing number of owners, all wanting to use it for Christmas but reluctant to contribute to upkeep.
I would be delighted that your grandparents still held you and your mother as family and included you in the shared inheritance. If you were to be fobbed off with a lesser value than your share (1/8), your relationship with your extended family would end anyway.
I'd be very guarded with this vibe. Read the will. €240,000 may not be correct for 2 houses and land. Think of it as your child's inheritance if you like, their g grandchild.
My family had Spanish property when I was younger and I do know the paperwork was difficult - especially not speaking the language and there were a lot of taxes on selling. Idk if it’s the same these days though. So if you have to pay tax, do you have the money to pay it?
What do they wish to do with the houses? I can understand they find adding someone else into the mix difficult and I think you should go along with what they want to do with the properties but still retain your share.
If they intend to rent them out, you will then need to file a tax return. It’s going to be challenging and it’s not fair to expect them to organise this unless it creates no work for them.
I’m not suggesting you forgo your inheritance. Can you go out there and take a look at it all?
Any ideas on what seems fair? your grandparents already made thst decision.
Does the will simply say to split the assets between the 8 of you? It seems odd that 3 people would inherit each house and then when they die they'd pass it on to two kids each etc.
Is there any plans to sell off the properties? That seems far more sensible given the number of inheritors
Take you share. It was your mother's rightful share, and it passes to you. Just as any of her sibling's shares would pass to their children if they had predeceased the grandparents.
Don't be fobbed off with crap. Don't feel guilty. This is your inheritance from your mother essentially. Look at it that way.
If your family is Honorable and worthy of your time and love, then they will remember this and treat you as they are treating themselves.
I think you should definitely take your share, it’s what your GP wanted, after all. Might be an idea to consult a solicitor for advice?
Of course you should take your fair share of the inheritance!
I think you need to work out what the total estate is worth, (including the furniture and any other asset such as a car or jewellery) and your share of this would be one eighth. I'd ask to see professional valuations. You could ask the remaining 7 to buy you out by paying you your one eighth share.
Subdividing properties to owned by several people sounds potentially very messy-don't forget you'll be liable for a share of the maintenance bills etc if this happens- but it could potentially be very difficult to do this from afar.
I think I'd start by asing to see the will and finding out how the Spanish system works- is there an appointed executor for example?
Snoopy90 I am sorry for your loss, both of your mum and of your grandparents.
"I'm very touched grandparents left me in the will to take on what would have been my mum's part. However, I strongly get the feeling my aunts/uncles what me to reject my part. I think they feel I'm less deserving as a grandchild rather than child."
Whatever you feel about their thoughts and whatever they think of you your grandparents left you in their will. They thought you were deserving and it was their money. You must remember this.
"Part of me is thinking shall I just reject it in order to avoid arguments? Falling out over it isn't worth it to me and I'd rather loose my share than do this. I would be devastated if it all ended sourly. I've visited them every year since I was 10 to maintain the connection and they're all the family I've got left on my mum's side."
It's just my view but if these aunts would like to see you relinquish your inheritance to make their lives easier or richer, then they really do not have your best interests at heart. Having lost their sister long ago I would hope they would care deeply for you.
Do you want a load of old Spanish furniture? I very much doubt it.
Speak to a solicitor in this country who can handle things for you in Spain or a Spanish solicitor who speaks English if you do not speak Spanish.
The 500 euro present for your daughter seems very generous. It doesn't come across to me as them trying to pay you off but them being kindly and generous.
It may be they are getting snowed under with all the bureaucracy and feeling overwhelmed. It may be they are thinking of keeping some of the properties and blanche at the thought of selling absolutely everything and divvying it up - hence offering you some (expensive?) furniture? Would the furniture they're offering be worth approx 30k?
I'm not saying you should accept their offer but I'm reading it that they're trying to work out a very tricky situation. The generous gift makes me think they are trying to do their best by you.
OP are you a parent? If God forbid a child dies the parents will want to make sure that their memory is honoured and this is one way your grandparents have chosen to honour their beloved daughter's memory.
Out of respect for them and your mum I am sorry to say I think you ought to fight for your Inheritance.
You may be imagining the animosity, after all that is their sibling and I can't imagine not wanting to honour my sibling's memory.
sorry aunts and uncles (is it?)
"A couple of things to consider are that the 7 of them have been sorting all the paperwork/dealing with paperwork which has been very stressful for them. I haven't done any of this as I'm in the UK. So is it fair for me to get same share as them when they're putting all the work in?"
Yes, of course it is. If the property were in the UK and left to one of your Spanish relatives would you expect them to just relinquish it to make your life easier. I very much doubt it. I would imagine, like most decent people, you would want to help in the aftermath of a bereavement.
Please find out exactly what you are entitled to and work out with your relatives how to proceed. Do not give up what is rightfully yours for the sake of harmony, unless you really do not need the money and really cannot be bothered to take the inheritance.
"Also, they looked after my grandparents throughout old age and no doubt spent lots of money on their care. I haven't asked them about this as they are quite cagey about it all." Maybe, or maybe your grandparents have been treating them and spending money on them for years. It's not your concern especially if the relatives are cagey.
"I think she would want me to take on her part to represent her." Of course she would and any suggestion from any relative that this is not straight forward or not appropriate should be met with a firm, 'I'm so grateful my grandparents remembered my mum through me." Or words to that affect, IMHO.
"... when I visited recently they gave me 500 euros between them as a present for my newborn daughter. I'm just wondering if they were implying a pay off. Or maybe I'm overthinking it. It's so hard as I don't feel they're being straight with me." I feel you are overthinking this. If they gave you money, that is their choice.
The inheritance was your grandparents to make and I would speak to a solicitor who can help you get exactly what you are entitled to.
I also agree that your Grandparents wanted you to have your Mother's share and you should not give up on that at all. To my mind the remaining adult children are not the people to be dealing with the Parents Estate, its the executor's job. As you are based in the UK, I would appoint someone there to act on your behalf that can explain the difficulties to you independently as well as watch over that the Estate is being handled as per your Grandparents wishes.
Sorry for your losses xx
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