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Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

(396 Posts)
StoppinBy Fri 01-Mar-19 23:18:16

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

GPatz Thu 04-Apr-19 13:26:56

Hot chocolate and Nutella on toast as a meal before bed. First person you should be taking nutritional advice from

Toooldtocareanymore Thu 04-Apr-19 12:22:20

my younger ds always eats his sandwich ( or similar eg sausage roll, wrap, filled pitta, crackers and cheese etc etc) at snack time and any treat item like plain biscuits, flapjack etc , and has his fruit and/or veggies or yoghurt only at lunch or big break as called in his school, has done since he started school, if I gave him say two rolls, or cut it in half and suggest he eat half at each break he'd agree do it for one day and then return to his usual plan, at weekends he's happy not to eat lunch till lunch time, far as he's concerned small break is for fuel big break is for playing and the faster he finishes the quicker he goes out, he's 12 now so I cant see him changing, when he gets out of school he's quite fine to go home before getting a snack to do his homework, while many in his class are greeted by parents with snacks at the door, so he's not starving. I've never heard of any school only allowing kids fruit at snack time. Maybe just explain that she eats lunch at home really early 'cos of nap time.

It sounds like enough food to me, but maybe suggest to your daughter if you wrap sandwich in two halves she has half at each break to keep her teacher happy.

My sons new school for next year will provide the snack time meal and its scones, bread and butter, fruit and protein of some sort. They are then expected to have a full packed lunch for lunchtime. but that's obviously much older kids 12 upwards.

BadTigerKitty Thu 04-Apr-19 12:09:05

I can't believe the control some posters expect to have over when a child should eat!

I encourage my kids to eat some of their main lunch at their first break. That way, there's a better chance they'll have time to eat it - coz the answer I get to 'why didn't you eat your lunch?' is usually 'I ran out of time'. Plus, it's a long time from breakfast at 7ish to lunch at school and they might be, you know, hungry by first break. I make sure they know they can choose to eat whatever they want from their lunch box at that time.

As a child I hated packed lunches. When I was old enough to make my own food decisions, I'd eat a big breakfast at home (cereal + tuna sandwich, say) and just have a small plain roll at school. That would be it. I was happy and never hungry

Aquilla Thu 04-Apr-19 11:57:12

What's wrong with a sandwich for lunch? It's what most kids have (esp in Australia) surely? Plus fruit, nuts and cheese.
Much better than the tasteless slop that comes out of our dinner halls!

recklessgran Thu 04-Apr-19 11:34:39

Sounds fine to me OP - school a bit overinvested I think, but they can't win can they? If they miss something like a child starving under their noses all hell breaks loose and it's the school's fault.
I'd give her a protein breakfast such as a boiled egg to keep her fuller for longer. Also add an extra sandwich to her lunch box and tell her one sandwich is for snack if she needs it and one for lunch.I'd then tell the school what you've done - preferably in an e-mail so they have a record!
Good luck OP and try not to worry too much about it.

StoppinBy Thu 04-Apr-19 11:22:39

@howwillwedeal lol - nope, a whole month without an extra sandwich and somehow she is still alive and kicking having not starved even with the lack of food that she gets wink

Teddybear45 Thu 04-Apr-19 08:33:28

I think, personally, that if she’s needing to eat most of her lunch at 11:30 when she’s possibly had breakfast at 7:30-8:30 then it’s her breakfast you need to focus on. Banana porridge is very carby and will make you feel hungrier; if she will eat protein instead (even if it’s not a traditional breakfast; for example my dn eats chicken and smoked salmon) then that will keep her fuller for longer. If not then substitute that banana with nuts or peanut butter.

howwillwedeal Thu 04-Apr-19 08:27:24

And she's not starved to death either?

StoppinBy Thu 04-Apr-19 03:08:02

In case anyone was wondering, it's now been a month since I started this post, school holidays start tomorrow and lo and behold, there have been no visits from SS and no further consultations with my child's teachers (despite the fact I see them every morning and every afternoon at drop off and pick up) regarding my daughter's eating habits at school.

Looks like I am safe for now, pheww grin

StoppinBy Sat 09-Mar-19 03:12:14

@math, yes, I offer you my apologies (because that is what someone does when they realise they were wrong), it was knee who said they fed their child Nutella on toast, not you.

The sentiment still stands, you feed your child as you wish and I shall continue to feed mine as I see fit.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Fri 08-Mar-19 09:09:49

It should have been to Kneehigim

mathanxiety Fri 08-Mar-19 08:00:31

Who was the 'Nutella on toast last thing at night' addressed to?

Hopefully not me, as I have not suggested any such snack.

mathanxiety Fri 08-Mar-19 07:55:23

When did I say the child was being starved?


NutElla5x Thu 07-Mar-19 10:19:19

*wish you never asked

NutElla5x Thu 07-Mar-19 10:18:46

Thank you StoppinBy I have just read and I'm sorry to see that you are basically getting accused of child abuse! Wtaf? I bet you never asked now lol. Ignore the poisonous posters who think they know it all,their kids probably wobble when they walk wink

Pinkblanket Thu 07-Mar-19 10:07:36

Lol, I don't eat crusts on the rare occasion I have no choice but to eat a sandwich. If I cut them off at home, the dog gets them, or the birds. Everyone is happy.

downcasteyes Thu 07-Mar-19 10:06:40

Your home routine sounds like you eat lunch really early. There's nothing wrong with that! I've always been the same way - I get up at 6am so by 11am I am starving. I am rarely hungry in the afternoon.

I don't think there's anything wrong with your daughter eating sandwiches early - I also did this at school.

However, I also didn't have enough food to eat at school, and was very underweight and thin. My school did an exercise to count the calories we were each getting every day, and I was significantly under where I should have been. My parents didn't change anything, however - my Mum has always had an obsession with being thin.

It doesn't sound like this is the case for your DD, but I would recommend weighing, measuring and calorie counting for a week so that you can evidence this to yourself and to others. I'm sure the experiment will show she's getting the right amount of calories for a young lass of her weight and size, and that you have nothing to worry about. (I'd be tempted to send the results to the school too!!) grin

howwillwedeal Thu 07-Mar-19 10:06:19

@StoppinBy the stupidity of @mathanxiety saying the child is being starved, a starving child would scavenge food from a bin to eat! Let alone leave crusts and other items not eaten.

StoppinBy Thu 07-Mar-19 10:04:01

Hi @Nutella - there is a post on this page (if you open up a view of 100 messages) that recounts the conversation I had with the teacher on the Monday when my DD went back to school, cheers.

MrsDrSpencerReid Thu 07-Mar-19 10:03:36

Her lunch is fine! There’s no way I’d be sending an extra sandwich.

My 9yo DS eats half a Vegemite sandwich and that’s it. Doesn’t matter what I pack, he only ever eats half a sandwich. He says he’s too busy playing lol. (No hat no play wink)

We’re in NSW and our school does lunch at 11:15 and recess at 2:10. The do it that way because 1. The kids usually ate their lunch then anyway and 2. It’s so hot that you don’t want sandwiches and such sitting in bags for too long!

We also aren’t nut free, I think maybe you can’t take nuts if there is an allergy in your class but we haven’t had one in 7 years so I’m not sure.

My DD is 12 and half the time she eats nothing at school 🤷🏼‍♀️

NutElla5x Thu 07-Mar-19 09:59:08


NutElla5x Thu 07-Mar-19 09:58:30

Seems a plentiful and nutritious lunch to me. If it was not enough your child would polish off every bite crusts and all. Is it possible the teacher only say what was left of her lunch box at lunch time so assumed she was only getting the nuts and apple?

StoppinBy Thu 07-Mar-19 09:52:40

**had not eaten anything since about 4pm and that would be their final meal before 7:30am the following night*

clearly that should read as *7:30am the following day*

StoppinBy Thu 07-Mar-19 09:46:40

Oh, sorry, that should say I read them out to my DH, clearly I wouldn't read such stupidity out to my children.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Thu 07-Mar-19 09:45:57

My husband is a grown-arsed man who won't eat crusts.
I find this hilarious, as do our 2 sons - but he still won't eat the crusts (the rest of us eat crusts)

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