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Teachers said my DD didn't have enough to eat

(396 Posts)
StoppinBy Fri 01-Mar-19 23:18:16

First off I think I am BU at how much I let this upset me for personal reasons but I am seeking clarification on whether I actually do send her enough.

When I picked up DD6 the teacher in charge at the time said to me that one of DD's teachers had said that I wasn't sending enough for her to eat, yesterday she had :

A vegemite sandwich, two cherry tomatoes, an apple, a chunk of cheese cut off the block and a big handful of nuts, she brought home a cherry tomato, some of her crust and some of her nuts .

The reasoning behind saying she didn't have enough food was that she had eaten her sandwich and a tomato and her cheese at 'snack time' - 11am and then had her nuts and apple at lunch - 1pm. Apparently she often does this.

We usually have lunch at 11:30 - 12 at home to fit around DS's naps so personally I can't see the issue with how she ate and I feel that if she was actually hungry that she would eat everything in her lunch box but she regularly brings stuff home.

AIBU to think that she does have enough food and that the teachers are actually wrong or do most kids eat more than that?

Holidayshopping Fri 01-Mar-19 23:35:20

I’m a teacher and the packed lunches are stored in the dinner hall away from the class do children couldn’t just open them at break time.

We have snack time where they are given fruit.

lazymare Fri 01-Mar-19 23:35:19

It was the most schools comment. As if it is unusual for children to be able to access their bags at break.

StoppinBy Fri 01-Mar-19 23:36:17

Given that snack is 3 hours after breakfast and lunch is 5 hours after breakfast it actually makes sense to me that she eats her sandwich at snack then has her snack at lunch which is only 2 hours before the end of school then when she gets home she eats what's left in her lunch box and a snack depending on what she had left in her lunch box.

Msgiggles30 Fri 01-Mar-19 23:36:23

I currently teach eyfs so I do get away with giving some wholemeal toast alongside as some of our children really need it but generally if the school follow 'healthy schools' it will be fruit or veg. I am in Wales so milk is provided free N to Yr2

Holidayshopping Fri 01-Mar-19 23:36:47

As if it is unusual for children to be able to access their bags at break.

It is!

It’s extremely unusual for KS1 children to access their lunchbox at playtime.

lazymare Fri 01-Mar-19 23:36:49

Stoppinby - I'm going to use most schools thing now and say that they tend to be nut free. I'm not the first to raise that on this thread.

lazymare Fri 01-Mar-19 23:37:14

It is not unusual at all in Scotland.

ineedaholidaynow Fri 01-Mar-19 23:37:31

Maybe as she is eating most of her lunch at snack time they think you are not feeding her breakfast.

FoxFoxSierra Fri 01-Mar-19 23:38:20

That seems like plenty of food to me! I give my DC's a sandwich or wrap, a piece of fruit and a yogurt and they usually bring some back

angelikacpickles Fri 01-Mar-19 23:38:52

I am a teacher and couldnt imagine our children going to get thier sandwich out for snack time, most schools only allow fruit for snack and then provide milk/water.

@Msgiggles30 Why on earth does the school care what the children eat when, once they do it within the allotted time?

Comefromaway Fri 01-Mar-19 23:39:16

My son is at secondary and is a bit like that. He can’t eat much for breakfast his appetite doesn’t kick in until he’s been up a few hours so he tends to eat his packed lunch at break time, a snack at lunchtime and then eats as soon as he gets home from school.

My daughter on the other hand feels sick if she doesn’t eat a substantial breakfast as soon as she gets up. She’ll have no mid morning snack, a decent lunch then an apple in the afternoon.

As long as over the course of the day they are eating roughly the right amount does it matter exactly when.

YouTheCat Fri 01-Mar-19 23:39:54

That sounds like lovely snacks and lunch. It's up to your dd which order she wishes to eat her food in and so long as she's not hungry it's bugger all to do with school.

I've seen kids have 2 bags of crisps for lunch, or a packet of biscuits. One even brought in leftover chips once. Most of the packed lunches I see are huge and full of utter shite.

Notcontent Fri 01-Mar-19 23:39:57

Some schools do allow nuts - I believe there is a view that banning foods that some children might be allergic to is not that helpful, as they will obviously be exposed to them outside of the school environment.

I used to always eat most of my lunch at “morning tea” time (this was in Australia).

Dementedswan Fri 01-Mar-19 23:40:08

In our school the children are offered a variety of fruit and a carton of milk around 10.15. They then have lunch at 12. They certainly don't have access to lunchboxes at milk and fruit time confused lunch time is lunch time! They also have access to milk from a fridge and fruit during play times and lunch provided by our pta.

StoppinBy Fri 01-Mar-19 23:42:01

To clarify we are in Australia, children take a packed lunch and snack, we do not have a communal eating hall or canteen and the school don't supply any food unless on special occasions.

Notcontent Fri 01-Mar-19 23:42:31

The OP might not be in the UK...

Msgiggles30 Fri 01-Mar-19 23:42:47

Same here holiday although in KS2 yes they probabaly could do this but in KS1/FP here we give out the milks as children go out so can tell what they are getting from thier bags. N and YR have snack altogether and its provided.
However this is a digression and I dont see an issue OP but understand why it has upset you. Ive found that children with lunchboxes packed full eat even less as some are overwhelmed. In one 4 year olds lunch there was a sauage roll, a sandwich, crisps, cake bar, fruit winder, banana and grapes. This child would eat hardly anything we chatted to mum as she was worried about him not eating and he ate much more with a normal amount of choice!

Notcontent Fri 01-Mar-19 23:43:10

Ah, I was going to say Australia !

arethereanyleftatall Fri 01-Mar-19 23:43:29

That's a great lunch. Ignore.

Msgiggles30 Fri 01-Mar-19 23:45:52

Not sure angelica! However our snack is 10.15 and lunch 12.00 so would seem early to eat if had a good breakfast. Some of mine wouldnt receive breakfast hence why I am rebel and give wholemeal bread sometimes grin. I guess its just a social norm which schools fall in to

FamilyOfAliens Fri 01-Mar-19 23:48:18

In the UK most infant children get free fruit / veg at breaktime, so there’s no need to go and get their lunchbox out at breaktine.

Girlzroolz Fri 01-Mar-19 23:48:45

I’m actually a bit envious that your school allows nut products! No (known) nut allergies at our school, but blanket ban all the same.

From what I know about nut allergies it wouldn’t be enough to ban them from specific classrooms only? I thought it was still dangerous for kids to play together, use the same drink taps, etc if some have nut allergies?

Anyway, nothing wrong with your packed lunch, or your dd’s actions. Frankly I’d ignore the school and carry on without giving it brainspace. With a younger child I’d be tempted to photograph the full lunchbox at home, but at 6yo your dd can explain what she ate and when. Her friends could bear witness, too.

For fun I might look up govt guidelines for nutrition for her age (I’m sure they exist with pretty pics of ‘ideal’ school lunches too). I’d be fairly sure your lunchbox is above the standard for calories & nutrition. Good info to have in your back pocket, in case it comes up again.

FamilyOfAliens Fri 01-Mar-19 23:49:42

OP, I did ask but you didn’t answer, did the teacher actually use the word “neglect” as you mentioned upthread?

Shellery Fri 01-Mar-19 23:49:54

OP: Given that snack is 3 hours after breakfast and lunch is 5 hours after breakfast it actually makes sense to me that she eats her sandwich at snack then has her snack at lunch which is only 2 hours before the end of school then when she gets home she eats what's left in her lunch box and a snack depending on what she had left in her lunch box."

Surely it makes more sense that she wouldn't be as hungry for the main part of her lunch (the sandwich) 3 hours after breakfast? confused

If she's eating the main part of her lunch at morning snack it does sound like she's a bit hungrier than usual at morning snack time.

Could you try sending her with (as PP have suggested) two rounds of sandwiches or a round and a half, for a while just to see what she eats/what's leftover so you can judge how she gets on with extra food?

angelikacpickles Fri 01-Mar-19 23:51:22


Most schools here don't provide any food - similar to the AU system the OP has described, so the kids eat whatever they want out of their lunch boxes at each of the two breaks. Didn't realise kids who bring packed lunches in UK schools don't have access to them at snack time.

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