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Passive aggressive, hypocritical bulls***!!!

(13 Posts)
ElizabethMountbatten Fri 01-Mar-19 16:18:48

AIBU to be really, REALLY pissed off with this??

I'm not listing his many virtues, because that's not what I'm ranting about. Just know that he's got them or I wouldn't have married him. But!! My husband has form for being a passive aggressive tool at times. Especially if he's ill or tired. Stuff like "I'll take this stack of towels up stairs that nobody has bothered with any of the times they've walked past." Or "I'll just put this milk away since nobody seems to know that it goes in the fridge." He'll even repeat it louder if he thinks that people didn't hear him. In fact, he rarely does anything around the house without being asked, unless he's either making a comment like that or listing off the minor things he's done and expecting a round of applause.
But this week he's one upped himself by being a hypocritical dickhead with it! He's been ill this week, which has meant loads of passive aggressive comments and jumping on every minor thing he thinks he can whinge about. A bit poorly and that clearly means he can languish in the bedroom, take all his meals in there and watch Netflix all day. I catch the same shit and still have to get on with everything but never bloody mind that! Our teenaged DC catches it, and is actually worse, and DH can't understand why they are staying in bed "milking it" and why they are having food in their room, since that's "against the rules." It is (due to mouldy cup and gross exploded yoghurt incident), but why should the exemption only apply to his illness and not DC's? He seems to think DC should be completing chores and looking over schoolwork while exhausted from all night coughing, swollen throat, painful ears and burning up, but he himself is allowed to treat this week as if it's some unofficial holiday and not lift a finger- unless he gets to make snarky, passive aggressive comments about the tiny task he has completed that was a drop in the sodding ocean of housework and extra work that he is making!!

AIBU to tell him he either shuts his trap and stops being such a selfish bloody hypocrite or he sods off to a budget hotel to complete his illness there? I'm not unsympathetic, but I've been waiting on him and tending him like he's a patient in a private hospital all week, and he begrudges our child the same care, gives me loads of shitty attitude, makes me feel inadequate due to tiny tasks not completed and takes every available opportunity to sulk or bitch and whinge!! I'm exhausted by it! I've got an ill child, other children, I'm unwell myself... I've had enough!

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Fri 01-Mar-19 16:20:45

May I 'prescribe' a shed?
Bottom of the garden and shove dh in it!!

recrudescence Fri 01-Mar-19 16:24:03

It would not be unreasonable for you to put your foot down. It’s time to have words.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Fri 01-Mar-19 16:27:36

Forget the shed. He'd be under the patio if it was me.

Tell him!

DingDongDenny Fri 01-Mar-19 16:30:57

You say you aren't well yourself - well it's time to get into bed, plug into netflix and demand room service.

eggsandwich Fri 01-Mar-19 16:47:42

Pull the the duvet cover back and say if your well enough to moan then your well enough to help around the house.

Toooldtocareanymore Fri 01-Mar-19 16:53:44

Go for it...things have to be said

DontdoitDoris Fri 01-Mar-19 17:34:35

Why are you waiting on him ?
I never understand this, waiting on them when they are nasty and rude? Why ?

PerpendicularVincent Fri 01-Mar-19 17:36:13

Seriously, tell him to get a grip. You have enough on without dealing with passive aggressive whining from a useless twat.

TheLongRider Fri 01-Mar-19 17:38:46

You and the teenager should go to the budget hotel and leave him to wallow in his own misery. Charge it to his account.

When you get back home critique his housekeeping in your absence. Obviously the house will be perfect because he'll have done it all! Yeah, right

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Fri 01-Mar-19 17:40:00

Get into bed and tell him its your turn now

Clutterbugsmum Fri 01-Mar-19 18:34:04

YABU, for not pulling him up sooner. But yes tell him to shut the fuck up, and grow the fuck up and get on with his normal jobs.

And in future every time he makes a PA comment pull him up on it. Or every time he makes a PA remark about doing something you do the same 10 fold.

PtahNeith Fri 01-Mar-19 18:42:16

Fucking hell, he must have some stellar fucking virtues for you to be tolerating this behaviour from him.

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