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To think you cant "make DS gay"

(128 Posts)
TwittleBee Fri 01-Mar-19 12:00:10

I am still really pissed off from a conversation with DH this morning…

It all started because we were talking about things our parents done for us as kids, e.g. my mum put on a pamper evening and dad used to take us to Blockbusters once a month

Anyway DH then said he couldn’t wait for boys evening with DS (okay fair enough that is lovely, some quality DH and Ds time) but when I then said ooo yeah and we could have pamper evenings too (nothing wring with relaxing and taking care of yourself right?) DH then flipped and said I was determined to make our DS gay?!

Calmly I stated that you cant make someone gay and pointed out that nothing my parents done made me bi!

Anyway, I am sure you can imagine how the rest of the conversation went… not well… DH said I am introducing him to that world and pushing him in that direction already by letting him play with my make up whilst I get ready!

Anyway, DH is BU right? And even if DS did turn out gay then why should it even matter to DH! I am honestly feeling very shocked by DH reaction.

Aprilshowersarecomingsoon Fri 01-Mar-19 12:02:14

My ds's have always used face packs, hand cream, lip balm.
Only one is gay. All treated the same.

Mmmmbrekkie Fri 01-Mar-19 12:03:04

You DH.

Mmmmbrekkie Fri 01-Mar-19 12:03:15


SneakyGremlins Fri 01-Mar-19 12:03:30

I played football as a kid, never did anything pampering, loved trucks, cars, diggers...

I'm still gay grin

GunpowderGelatine Fri 01-Mar-19 12:03:56

I absolutely judge people who think nail varnish can make someone homosexual as being exceptionally dim.

FriarTuck Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:04

Well my parents tried their hardest to make me straight and it didn't work....

Thehop Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:23

Your dh is quite the tosser I’m afraid.

JamPasty Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:28

He's being unreasonable and homophobic

Halo84 Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:31

Laughing at this. No, you can’t make a child gay.

Shoxfordian Fri 01-Mar-19 12:04:43

Looks like you've married a homophobe
How embarrassing

LimeKiwi Fri 01-Mar-19 12:06:14

He's being a tit.
Give him a head tilt and offer him a relaxing face pack as he sounds like he needs one grin

Notmyrealname855 Fri 01-Mar-19 12:06:23

Wow what a silly outlook he has! How strange anyone would think that confused

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just has a concern of spending less quality time with your DS.

But I’d be worried he’s a bit of a bigot tbh

WFTisgoingoninmyhead Fri 01-Mar-19 12:06:56

My DS is 26 and we regularly had pamper evenings with him and his DSis and their Daddy. Neither my son nor my DH are Gay and so what if your son is Gay and you 'make' him that way I would say to your DH "well you are making my DS into a prick by spending time with him so stop it"

PepsiLola Fri 01-Mar-19 12:08:22

I've had this conversation with my DH too!

I was talking about what age I'd like my DC's get their ears pierced, and he said that only our DD could have hers done (this is one example but I know he's said this about other things).

1. Being gay is not a bad thing
2. Having a earring does not make a boy want the D

I swear sometime his fathers narrow mindedness comes out of him and it makes me rage!

PepsiLola Fri 01-Mar-19 12:08:55

By "like" to get their ears pierced, I mean what age I would allow it.

Noonooyou Fri 01-Mar-19 12:11:50

Nothing you do with your child will determine what sexuality he is.
Jesus Christ I literally can't stand all this homophobe. My brother is gay, he can't stand pampering. Why the hell do people associate pretty pink pampering stuff as 'gay'

AssassinatedBeauty Fri 01-Mar-19 12:12:44

He's being homophobic and sexist. Does he usually think about things in quite a gendered way? The comment about a "boys evening" makes me think he does. Similarly not all girls/women like "pampering" things.

MoBiroBo Fri 01-Mar-19 12:12:58

As someone who is straight, has one straight sister and one gay sister, nothing my parents did or didn't do "made her gay."

Does your Dh also think if he puts your son in pink his willy will fall off?

Spiderbanana Fri 01-Mar-19 12:13:29

I grew up playing rugby, wearing dungarees and having the same haircut as my three brother.

I still love penises.

Your DH is a muppet OP

Noonooyou Fri 01-Mar-19 12:14:23

And while I'm at it. I categorically will not be having a child with someone who is homophobic. I would want my child to be supported if they are gay. I also wouldn't want to bring a child to around someone who is a homophobe either because I want my children to grow up in a world where these opinions are not accepted.

THEsonofaBITCH Fri 01-Mar-19 12:16:49

Sexual orientation is created in the womb - nature, not by learning - nurture. Generally the only other way to change sexual orientation is through trauma and facials/pampering/ etc isn't trauma!

LimeKiwi Fri 01-Mar-19 12:17:39

Similarly not all girls/women like "pampering" things

Exactly, I mean I couldn't think of anything I'd like to do less for fun than a day of "pampering" so it stands to reason that some boys don't all love running about playing football for example as a way of boy/man bonding just like I'd hate girly pamper bonding days!
I think some people just have a really strange, rigid way of how people "should" be.
He won't "catch the gay" from a bit of nail polish FFS. He's being ridiculous.

TwittleBee Fri 01-Mar-19 12:21:15

well you are making my DS into a prick by spending time with him so stop it - brilliant thank you @WFTisgoingoninmyhead

Thought as much, just didnt see any of this awfulness in Dh before! I've seen it from the PIL but not from him!

Spiderbanana Fri 01-Mar-19 12:24:22

His attitude would certainly be indicative of how he might react if your son does turn out to be gay. It is something to consider

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