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Is it unreasonable for a disabled person to park in a P and C space?

(88 Posts)
HappybutsometimesGrouchy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:27:38

My Dh is disabled and has a blue badge. Today we drove up to our local shop which has 1 Disabled space and 1 P and C space. The disabled space was taken (by someone with no blue badge, might I add!) there is a car behind us waiting to park so we drove into the P and C space and I got out to help my dh. The woman in the car behind us rolls down her window and starts shouting obscenities at us saying we have no right to be parking there as we have no kids. I apologise to her and explain my husband has a blue badge and really needs the extra space to get out of the car. She then tells me she doesn't give a fuck, she has a child and needs the space also. I said I would move the car once I got my dh out and she charmingly tells me to 'piss right off you fat bitch' and drives on. I'm a bit shook up by at, I am not good at confrontation and she has upset me. Obviously she was BU to shout abuse at me but was it wrong of me to take the space? Happy to be told if it was.

LordVoldetort Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:03

Nah, disabled people need the space over a parent (I say this as someone who has a young child and has struggled badly with arthritis for the last 2yrs - the child is easier to get from a small space than what it would have been for your husband.

The woman’s a bitch. Don’t let it bother you

HaggisMuncher Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:07

Nope. Not unreasonable at all. Blue badge trumps p+c space. Sorry that woman was so awful to you flowers

M4J4 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:25

She was a cunt. Your DH has a legal right to park there, she doesn't.

A disability trumps her little Timothy.

So sorry that happened to you flowers

coronalover Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:37

Of course you can park there! What an awful thing for you and your husband to have had happen to you x

Hayden555 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:48

You were reasonable ... You only wanted it for a few minutes ... She feels entitled ... She's an idoit who has little control of her own life so took the opportunity to abuse a stranger ... Probably made her feel good ... Don't let it ruin your evening smile

LetsGoFlyAKiteee Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:10

Charming!
Nope you weren't in the wrong! Poor you to have to be approached in that way.

ilovesooty Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:34

No
She was unreasonable. Her child doesn't trump your husband's disability.

EspressoPatronum Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:53

No not at all unreasonable.

Mrsfs Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:07

No, you weren't wrong to use the space at all. Your DH needed that space. The parent and child spaces are great but, in my opinion, if someone else needs them more, they go to that person.

SemperIdem Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:36

Not at all unreasonable to do so.

keepforgettingmyusername Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:37

Don't think anyone could argue YABU to be honest, blue badge gives you the right to park pretty much anywhere within reason and that was certainly within reason.

zen1 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:48

Blue Badge trumps P & C every time. A person with a disability requiring a blue badge is obviously more in need of a space nearer to a shop than a person with a child.

Girlinthegarden Thu 28-Feb-19 19:33:00

Blue badge holders take precedence over parents in my view.

UrsulaPandress Thu 28-Feb-19 19:33:49

The p&c spaces at my local Tesco are nearer to the door and the trolleys than the disabled spaces. If I'm having a bad day I park in one. Haven't been challenged yet.

<cracks knuckles>

meow1989 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:34:06

Not unreasonable at all, blue badge > parent and child

ASurfeitOfDuncans Thu 28-Feb-19 19:34:07

No.

GruciusMalfoy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:34:16

Disabled people take priority.

OftenHangry Thu 28-Feb-19 19:35:37

Next time, just don't engage. You've done nothing wrong at all! Blue badge first every time!

Some people really shouldn't have kids...

MustStopSnacking28 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:11

Nope you totally were not unreasonable, how offensive! Disabled badges give you a right to park anywhere necessary as far as I am aware. If you needed to park in that spot then you should do! I have a baby, it’s really not that hard to park further away...the extra space is useful for car seats etc but not necessary as it would be for a wheelchair or similar.

HappybutsometimesGrouchy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:20

Thank you all for your kind words. Im oversensitive at the best of times and she has embarrassed me and made me feel like shit. Genuinely didn't know if a disabled person could park in a parent and child space. Im autistic myself and a stickler for rules! Good to know it's not illegal, I really do worry about these things!

TedAndLola Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:34

I hope she choked on her bile at the fish counter and ended up face-down in a haddock.

The only thing you did wrong was apologise to her!

PuzzlingPuzzle Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:35

What a vile lady. Of course you were in the right. Please don’t get upset over this.

Myusernameismud Thu 28-Feb-19 19:37:08

In your case, no Blue Badge trumps P&C.
However, my local tesco has 10 P&C and 25 disabled spaces. I have never seen all 25 spaces full, but I have seen a blue badge holder with no children park in a P&C space which gave me the rage. They WBU because in all 25 disabled spaces, there were 7 cars.

As a side note, does anyone know if your allowed to use a blue badge when the disabled person isn't in the car? Because there's one particular guy who does that and it pisses me off no end.

Matilda15 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:37:09

I’m sorry this happened to you and your husband.

Blue badge trumps parent and child space at all times.

I hope you aren’t too shaken up 💐

Valdy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:38:06

She was definitely BU, I don't think you were at all. As someone with a 1 yr old and 7 months pregnant, I'd happily give a space up for someone with a disability. DS and I can get out in tight spaces, those with a disability not always can.

Lordamighty Thu 28-Feb-19 19:38:52

No, your DH’s disability takes priority over P & C. Smile & ignore.

Theknacktoflying Thu 28-Feb-19 19:40:01

YWNBU

I don’t think there is a clear cut law about it, but even if you did have kids and needed to use it for P&C purposes, you were still there first ...

GruciusMalfoy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:40:41

I can't tag the poster who asked, but no you shouldn't use the badge when the badge holder isn't in the car. It's for their personal use, not the car.

3out Thu 28-Feb-19 19:41:36

No, myuser you’re not supposed to use the blue badge if the holder isn’t in the car. You’re not even allowed to use it if the holder is in the car but not getting out (for example, if you were running into the chemists to collect their prescription). The rules are pretty clear when you receive your badge.

Knittedfairies Thu 28-Feb-19 19:42:10

I found this interesting.

Myusernameismud Thu 28-Feb-19 19:43:16

Thanks grucius that's what I thought. His wife uses a wheelchair and they have an adapted car, but everytime I've seen him at tesco he's on his own and parked in a disabled space.

CloserIAm2Fine Thu 28-Feb-19 19:44:08

YADNBU

Blue badge trumps P&C every single time.

Having children is a choice, having a disability is not.

RockinHippy Thu 28-Feb-19 19:45:23

Wow, what a charmer, abusing you & your disabled DH in front of her DCs 😏

Of course you get priority

So sorry that you met such an entitled, uncaring gobshite 💐

ElektraLOL Thu 28-Feb-19 19:45:41

The disabled person has a legal right to park in a space that gives them easy access.

Parent and child spaces are merely a marketing ploy. There is no legislation that supports P&C . This is a fact which unfortunately escapes many (entitled) parents.

NotANotMan Thu 28-Feb-19 19:46:21

Disabled spaces are a legal requirement.
Parent and child spaces are a marketing gimmick by supermarkets.
The woman was a total knob.

HoppityFrog3 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:47:27

Of COURSE YANBU. The woman sounds vile.

You should have said 'go and report me to the store manager if you think I am in the wrong. Better still, call the police.'

I know someone this happened to. She got screamed at by a huge 30-something male, for parking in a child zone even though she has a blue badge, (because there were no disabled bays.) When she said 'I am disabled' he said 'you don't look it, you just look fat, you stupid cunt.'

She saw a security guard coming over (as he had heard this bloke's loud booming voice,) and told him to go fuck himself, said the baby in his car was probably not his anyway, and that his wife looked like a dirty bitch who fucks other men.' He went cataclysmic and she just laughed at him. He screamed 'I will fucking kill you - you old cunt!' angry

The security guard heard only HIS outburst, and charged over. He accosted him, and threw him off the property; banning him and his wife from the store.

This woman I know didn't exactly behave impeccably, but he started it, and got what he deserved. Shame about his wife as she probably didn't deserve it.

anniehm Thu 28-Feb-19 19:49:23

(sorry don't know how to link!)

No you can't use a blue badge if the disabled person isn't in the car nor are you collecting them, but remember not all disabilities are visible. My dd is eligible for a blue badge because she is unable to drive for medical reasons (seizures) according to our council, in fact we didn't accept it, just the bus pass.

Banhaha Thu 28-Feb-19 19:49:27

I don't think it was unreasonable of you to have parked there at all. She was very rude and please don't feel bad. You were even very kind and offered to move your car once DH was out.

Chloemol Thu 28-Feb-19 19:58:07

No. I have done this when with my mother at the supermarket. I just advised the services desk and they said it was no problem

Myusernameismud Thu 28-Feb-19 19:59:50

@anniehm I know there are lots of invisible disabilities so it's not something I normally would be judgey about, except that I know this particular guys adapted car is for his wife who uses a wheelchair, and she's not been with him the few times I've seen him parking in a disabled space!

FriarTuck Thu 28-Feb-19 20:01:12

she has a child and needs the space also
So she can find a normal space further away with an empty space next to it & park there. Then walk a bit further.
(And someone on another thread a day or so ago insisted women didn't hurl abuse out of their car windows!)

longearedbat Thu 28-Feb-19 20:03:38

I see so many threads about p and c places. I can appreciate that a parent wrangling a child, or children, will need some extra space around their vehicle, but why they also have to be the spaces closest to the supermarket front door I don't know. My oh's father has a blue badge and often uses a wheelchair when he's really bad, otherwise a wheeled walker. I get really pissed off at our local supermarket because the p and c places are as I have described, with the disabled places in the same row but further away from the entrance. If I had my way the p and c places would be out of the way at the furthest end of the car park, with a footpath to get families safely to the door without having to step into traffic (which they often already have between the parking rows anyway). I have a feeling these spaces wouldn't be so popular then though.

Sirzy Thu 28-Feb-19 20:03:41

Blue badges mean you can park anywhere as long as it’s not dangerous (within certain perimeters)

Anyone with an ounce of sense wouldn’t question someone who is disabled parking in a p and c space

thecatsthecats Thu 28-Feb-19 20:06:21

Anyone - and I mean anyone - who tries to police P+C spaces regardless of their use is BU in my opinion.

It falls into it's own category of uncouthness to so much as pass a dirty look at an offender. If you can't handle parking space politics, get a home delivery pass. Ours is £36 a year, and I have not had to park in a supermarket carpark since 2016.

Alsohuman Thu 28-Feb-19 20:07:21

@TedAndLola, you put it so much better than I ever could. Bloody P&C spaces are more trouble than they’re worth.

3out Thu 28-Feb-19 20:09:57

@Myusernameismud he maybe is just being fly, but maybe he has a blue badge too. You wouldn’t be able to tell (unless you asked to see the photo on the reverse)

JRMisOdious Thu 28-Feb-19 20:13:48

“ I can't tag the poster who asked, but no you shouldn't use the badge when the badge holder isn't in the car. It's for their personal use, not the car”.

Unless you’re going in to the shop to collect the disabled person: I’ve done this at services when my husband was taken in by a friend, they’d been out together in our friends car to watch a sports event, and I went in to meet them in the coffee shop and drive my husband back home in our car.
Please don’t use them if you don’t have the disabled passenger with you.
No, OP, you weren’t being unreasonable. Even if you had been, what a nasty woman.

mineofuselessinformation Thu 28-Feb-19 20:14:12

Being the veteran of some very unpleasant people challenging me over the use of disabled spaces and m&b spaces, I no longer bother to get angry.
I just say 'if you think I'm doing anything wrong, feel free to report me'.
It usually takes the wind right out of their sails. (Dc2 is the blue badge holder, not me and is severely visually impaired.)
I then carry merrily on my way and leave them to fume... it seems to work.
I should add I don't use the blue badge without dc2 being present, of course.

LaBelleSausage Thu 28-Feb-19 20:15:48

As a pregnant parent of a one year old, I would much rather see a disabled person using a P&C space than the teenagers I usually witness with their parents in them.
(If your child is not in a car seat, that space isn’t for you!)
I came out of Tesco the other day, and watched a mother and daughter go to their car in a parent and child space, attach an L plate, and then the ‘child’ drove away.

Please continue to use whatever space you need OP

DorothyZbornak Thu 28-Feb-19 20:17:45

Nope, you and your DH were completely in the right. Disability takes priority over a child. She was clearly a nasty CU Next Tuesday. Ignore her.

JayneyMc4 Thu 28-Feb-19 20:18:26

I'm sick to death of these women who think because they popped a baby out they are entitled to special treatment. P & C spaces are courtesy spaces not legally enforceable parking areas, having a baby didn't render them unable to walk across a feckin car park. You should have told the ugly cow to feck off with her ugly brat.

OftenHangry Thu 28-Feb-19 20:30:44

having a baby didn't render them unable to walk across a feckin car park.

Bless. My father used to say "They may get bit breathy if they have to walk from the other side of a carpark, but I will most likely drop dead in the middle. So I am parking wherever is near the entrance."
Once he got frustrated at the number, the lack, of disabled spaces and parked in a loading bay😂

mayathebeealldaylong Thu 28-Feb-19 20:31:25

Those places should be for heavily pregnant women and those who have car seats to remove or dc under 2 maybe three.
You were well in you right because they are meant to offer extra space when needed not just cause you popped a dc out.
My ds is one and I can easily get him out so I dont really use them, but when I had to remove the seat I did other wise I would have to take him out attached the car seat to the buggy and move the car.
The worse are GRANDMOTHERS, a cf pulled in to a space and walk in the shop, but had a car seat in the back. I see this a lot.
Next time smile and say mind your business. If they start to be abusive, sweetly tell them to suck your furry toe!
It usually shuts them up wink

ChoudeBruxelles Thu 28-Feb-19 20:32:51

No disability is not a choice. You get the parking space.

SauvignonBlanche Thu 28-Feb-19 20:33:42

Only a complete dick would challenge a BB holder in a P&C space.

HappybutsometimesGrouchy Thu 28-Feb-19 20:40:16

If they start to be abusive, sweetly tell them to suck your furry toe! I did have a little laugh at this grin . Thank you all so much for being so nice. I will admit I struggle with these things and may have shed some tears blush. I really hope I don't bump into that woman again. Really feel like avoiding the shop now.

Hushnownobodycares Thu 28-Feb-19 20:47:26

Don't let this ridiculous fuckmuppet woman put you off using the shop, OP. You were entirely in the right.

siestakey Thu 28-Feb-19 21:04:17

Christ she sounds like a bunch of roses. You definitely weren't being UR. If I had a child and we needed a space you took, I'd thank my lucky stars that myself nor my child were disabled and able to use a normal space.

I really don't get people that confront other people/yell obscenities in public.

Lizzie48 Thu 28-Feb-19 22:18:06

I really don't get people that confront other people/yell obscenities in public.

This, I don't get it at all. Why would anyone want to show themselves up like that? I really pity her DC.

And no, you definitely weren't unreasonable. Blue badge trumps a parent and child, who can easily park in a normal parking space.

MaMaMaBelle Thu 28-Feb-19 22:32:47

Myusernameismud They could end losing the badge & getting a fine if he is misusing it

OnlyaMan Thu 28-Feb-19 22:42:12

As so many posters have said Disability "trumps" Children. Obviously. So the OP need not have any concern.
I suppose there is the hypothetical possibility that a person with a very mild disability may take a space from a parent with (say) several small children and numerous baby buggies.
But the ultimate responsibility for that situation lies with the owner of the car park.

x2boys Thu 28-Feb-19 22:50:09

People with a very mild disability don't get blue badge,s @OnlyaMan, I have a child with not so mild autism and learning disabilities with absolutely no sense of danger he is not entitled to a blue badge they are very strict about who.get them.

mineofuselessinformation Thu 28-Feb-19 22:53:22

Onlyaman, do you actually know how difficult it is to get a blue badge?
My dm had to battle to get hers - she has severe arthritis and COPD.
You need to educate yourself.

Sindragosan Thu 28-Feb-19 22:55:27

As someone who has had a carseat on each side of the car, I'd still say blue badge in p&c space. I could usually park further away and wrangle everyone out, I don't need to be that close to the shops, and carparks are rarely that busy that I can't get a suitable space.

Best carparks are those with wide spaces for everyone, or where everyone is parked at an angle so there is always one side clear, much less bickering there.

One of the supermarkets moved the p&c spaces further from the door and they are miraculously easier to get a space in, so definitely the way forward.

Thurmanmurman Thu 28-Feb-19 23:00:02

She’s a horrible scrote OP, you did nothing wrong. I pity her child.

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe Thu 28-Feb-19 23:05:56

If they start to be abusive, sweetly tell them to suck your furry toe

I bark at them, loudly. Works every time.

Walnutwhipster Thu 28-Feb-19 23:07:32

ODFOD. I have blue badges and absolutely park in P&C courtesy spaces if all the BB ones are taken. The reason i do it is because ALL supermarkets allow it.

Walnutwhipster Thu 28-Feb-19 23:09:32

The ODFOD was at the witch abusing you not you OP. It's late and I've taken my meds.

Sarcelle Thu 28-Feb-19 23:11:45

How awful to be that woman, shouting at somebody who parks in a disabled space. How awful to have her for a mother. Put the low life out of your mind.

Celticrose Thu 28-Feb-19 23:11:53

I have parked in a P and C space with my mum who has a blue badge. Admittedly I do feel a bit guilty and will move my car if a disabled space becomes free.

FrozenMargarita17 Thu 28-Feb-19 23:12:37

I'd absolutely say disabled people could use them over P&C tbh. It's the people who are neither that are CFs!

ElBandito Thu 28-Feb-19 23:14:02

You were in the right. She was in the wrong with a side order of horrible.

PurpleDaisies Thu 28-Feb-19 23:14:10

However, my local tesco has 10 P&C and 25 disabled spaces. I have never seen all 25 spaces full, but I have seen a blue badge holder with no children park in a P&C space which gave me the rage. They WBU because in all 25 disabled spaces, there were 7 cars.

There always one. hmm

Who seriously gets the rage at disabled people parking wherever is easiest for them? confused

Designerenvy Thu 28-Feb-19 23:21:11

YANBU! ... if the disabled parking was full and your DH needs extra space to get safely out of the car , you were dead right to take that p and c space.
That other lady sounds unhinged !!!
Ignore her and do the same thing again tomorrow if you have to.

Friendofsadgirl Thu 28-Feb-19 23:22:30

YANBU!
DM once parked in a P&C space with my blue badge holding grandmother as all Disabled Parking spaces were taken with not a blue badge to be seen on any of the occupant cars. She was loudly abused by a woman driver "You can't park there - it's for people with children" to which my mild mannered DM politely replied "We are a parent and child" and walked away .

Talkingfrog Fri 01-Mar-19 00:16:43

In those circumstances I would say it was not unreasonable for you to park there. I think the car park should be marked out with 2 disabled spaces, instead of 1 of each.
I once challenged someone on using the parent and child space with no child. (asked where the child was). No badge was out at the time. The woman shouted at me "I can park here I am disabled" and waved her stick at me. My next comment was that I drove in before them, and they only got to the space before me by going through a no entry. If they hadn't done that, I would have been in the space first. There was a disabled space free thry could use. but went the correct way around, following the arrows. They went against the arrows, through a no entry to get to the space first. She just shouted abuse me telling me I was rude and waved her stick aggressively. Basically she was going to do what she wanted regardless.

PurpleDaisies Fri 01-Mar-19 00:18:19

She might have been disabled with no blue badge. I might wave my stick if I kept getting challenged by self appointed traffic wardens.

aLilNonnyMouse Fri 01-Mar-19 00:19:46

YANBU. I'm also disabled with a blue badge. I use P&C if all the blue badge bays are taken, and also if I forget to bring my badge (I have memory problems).

I need the extra space to get my wheelchair out and I am deaf, so parking in the empty spaces near the back is also dangerous as I wont hear any traffic and I've got a limited few being so low down.

TitsAndTomatoes Fri 01-Mar-19 00:23:24

Not disabled, have a baby and always need access to p&c for her pram etc.

There is no way on earth id ever think my parking 'needs' trump that of a blue badge holder. Im mortified for you.

Disabled ALWAYS take priority. Always.

JenniferJareau Fri 01-Mar-19 00:39:09

Supermarket I use occasionally has placed p&c spaces well away from the front of the store. Easy access to the entrance by a walkway /path but not right in front like before.

Cinderella2019 Fri 01-Mar-19 00:57:47

Agree with responses on this thread. Obviously.

Got me thinking though. On the numerous wheelchair vs buggy on bus threads it is often suggested that buses have both designated wheelchair spaces and designated buggy spaces (the bus in question may be a tardis) in an attempt to keep everyone happy I guess. In fact a quick google reveals that this is actually a thing in Manchester and Watford.

If a bus has a designated wheelchair space and a designated buggy space, both being utilised, and a second wheelchair user wishes to board the bus, does the parent with the buggy still need to disembark in that scenario (presuming they have s tank buggy that doesnt fold easily)? Because it would seem to me that they would and should. But then what’s the point of the designated buggy space? * ponders *

dreichuplands Fri 01-Mar-19 01:21:53

I also tend to follow rules carefully and get really annoyed when just anyone thinks they can use p&c spaces. But a blue badge holder when there are no more disabled spaces is fine. Ignore the woman.

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Fri 01-Mar-19 04:16:50

I get (well, got - mine aren't even toddlers anymore) irate if a non parent uses the p&c spaces, but always figured I wouldn't get cross with blue badge users.

I've now had a blue badge myself for a few years and I've only parked in p&c once and that by mistake recently, the spaces were next to each other in Ikea.

I'm glad to find out that actually I can do that if I need to - its always sods law that if I am suffering really badly that there is never a disabled space.

OP, try hard to forget that lady. And as for her insult, whether you're fat or not, I hate it when people hurl that one out as abuse. Its just uneccessary.

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe Fri 01-Mar-19 07:11:05

Shame the stick didn't do more than wave.

Nothinglefttochoose Fri 01-Mar-19 08:01:07

That is terrible. No you absolutely should have parked there. P&C parks infuriate me. Especially the parents who use a space, one parent gets out to do the groceries and the other one sits in the car with the kids. That’s not what it’s bloody for!!

IWantChocolates Fri 01-Mar-19 08:09:08

@Cinderella2019

it is often suggested that buses have both designated wheelchair spaces and designated buggy spaces (the bus in question may be a tardis) in an attempt to keep everyone happy I guess. In fact a quick google reveals that this is actually a thing in Manchester and Watford.

Also Oxford. The buggy space is narrower, behind the stairs, with fold-down seats. There's no backrest for a wheelchair in the buggy space, so if there was already a wheelchair in the designated space then another can't fit on. But that's the same if there's only a space for a wheelchair. I think most buses state how many seated and standing passengers the bus can hold and state '1 wheelchair'.

Butteredghost Fri 01-Mar-19 08:09:53

Legally anyone can use a p n c space so a bb holder certainly can.

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