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Aibu to be annoyed at SIL

(111 Posts)
JenLaBe Thu 28-Feb-19 19:21:24

Hello,

So long story short. A few months ago, my sil and her family cane to our, mine and dh, house. We had a lovely time and I invited them to come back at a later date for a playtime as our DC are same age ish.

She said yes, smile and all.

Her other older child was keeping on going upstairs in the rooms and especially the one of our dc so I went up and ask him to join us back down. He was literally lying on the mattress which i use to change dc and was loving it. Anyway, slipt through my mouth (which I hope I had kept shut now) to ask if one day he would like to come over for a sleep over. Eyes full on stars, he nodded. Couldn't be happier.
We both go down and I share with his mom that there was an open invitation for this young man to whenever she saw was possible and that we could talk more when she comes to have the playtime with my DC and hers.

A few weeks later, i send a message about the playtime and no answer. Like at all but a date to which she could come for the sleepover. Now my DC is very young so literally my lo was excluded from that and she was saying nothing about the playtime.
My hubby send a message to ask if she would like to answer about the playtime too to which she answers she doesn't have time for games.

So we both leave it honestly hurt for her dc.

Then her dc's birthday come. We reach out to make sure that we can give a gift and see him for his birthday. She invited us at hers. Lovely time. 5 months has passed so I reinvite for the playtime to which she says yes.
I said great! And that when she comes we can discuss about the sleepover, she said yes.

And to our surprise. Again. No mention for our DC at all but a date was given to us to when she could come for the sleepover.

This has now completely blown out as she refuses to even understand that she can't just take on half the invite and blank out our DC while expecting us to host her for the night!!! Oh yes, she would be coming with her dc too...

Aibu to be VERY annoyed??? And to have just hold my ground saying both invites were made and that she can accept or refuse both??

ItsJustASimpleLine Thu 28-Feb-19 19:25:33

I don't understand?

Chloemol Thu 28-Feb-19 19:25:55

I don’t understand this post

StealthPolarBear Thu 28-Feb-19 19:27:21

I'm not sure I understand sorry. I do love eyes full of stars though, that's amazing.

Bigonesmallone3 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:30:28

Did u proof read this op
I'm struggling to get it..

GreatDuckCookery6211 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:26

Can’t make head not tale of that OP.

OKBobble Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:31

So she won't come for a play date and although you offered to have her child for a sleepover she wants to stay over too.

Yes you are unreasonable to say she has to do both or neither. I am not sure why you don't want her to stay over too as I assume you live some distance away if you only see each other every few months.

endevo Thu 28-Feb-19 19:31:55

This is very confusing

RoboticSealpup Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:36

*A few weeks later, i send a message about the playtime and no answer. Like at all but a date to which she could come for the sleepover. Now my DC is very young so literally my lo was excluded from that and she was saying nothing about the playtime.
My hubby send a message to ask if she would like to answer about the playtime too to which she answers she doesn't have time for games.

So we both leave it honestly hurt for her dc.*

Can you clarify this bit please?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:32:43

Jen, have you a sister named Sharon?

SherlockSays Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:36

Sorry, this makes absolutely no sense!
The only thing I can kind of make out is that she's avoiding answering about the sleepover - in which case, maybe she doesn't want DC sleeping out and that's her choice, don't push it.

SoyDora Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:55

But the sleepover will essentially be a play date won’t it? She’s not planning to come on her own for a sleepover?
I’m confused.

Coffeeandcake1 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:55

It sounds to me like she doesnt want her DC to sleep over for whatever reason ( maybe shes just not comfortable letting DC stay away for the night) but doesn't want to offend you by just saying no so shes saying yes hoping you wont push for a date?

JenLaBe Thu 28-Feb-19 19:36:54

To be shorter.
My sil has two children. One similar age than mine aNd one much older.

I invited my sil for a playtime with her youngest or both dc.

I said that while the children are playing, we could arrange for her older one to come for a sleep over.

She now blanks the playtime and just send me dates for the sleepover at mine.

I clarified that both invitation were offered and accepted by her so what about the playtime? She just keep it out completely.

My issue is that my DC is too young to participate in the sleepover as fast asleep early.

SoyDora Thu 28-Feb-19 19:37:49

But they won’t just come for the sleepover at bedtime will they?

M4J4 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:39:45

Is she trying to use you for childcare for the oldest child?

Bigonesmallone3 Thu 28-Feb-19 19:39:48

So your happy to have her children over for a sleepover but they have to come over early so the children can all play as your dc goes to bed quite early so will miss out?

In that case she is unreasonable and sounds like she just wants you to babysit for her without her having to socialise with u..
However u did offer!
I wouldn't offer again

SoyDora Thu 28-Feb-19 19:41:45

Is the play date supposed to be separate from the sleepover?
She probably doesn’t realise that the sleepover offer is conditional on the play date happening. I wouldn’t. I’d assume that her older child is really keen to sleep over and that’s why she’s suggesting dates for that.

JenLaBe Thu 28-Feb-19 19:41:45

No. For the sleepover, my sil will only come with the older one and he go to sleep at 9 or 10pm :/
They are likely to arrive by 6pm... my lo sleeps then
I don't mind... but only if there was some kind of play for mine included!!!

DanielRicciardosSmile Thu 28-Feb-19 19:42:12

But won't she bring the youngest, similarly aged, DC with her to the sleepover as well if she's planning to stay with you as well?

DanielRicciardosSmile Thu 28-Feb-19 19:42:49

Sorry cross post.

JenLaBe Thu 28-Feb-19 19:42:50

Nope younger one will stay with her dh

MustShowDH Thu 28-Feb-19 19:43:32

I'm struggling to understand your posts. Maybe when you text her you are unclear too.

If you don't like how she does things, don't socialise with her.

Doesn't sound like either of you are being unreasonable.

AornisHades Thu 28-Feb-19 19:43:46

Her oldest is probably bugging her for the promised sleepover.

Drogosnextwife Thu 28-Feb-19 19:44:38

So is your sil be coming for this sleep over aswell or is it just her older child, or is it her and the 2 kids?

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