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To be sick of playing postman

(41 Posts)
cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:36:33

Eight years ago we bought our house and my dad and his partner bought one of those static caravans to live in full-time. It's about 2 miles from me, so not far, but I don't drive and there's no public transport near there. Busy roads (so not ideal for taking the kids with me etc).

When they moved in they were tons there was no post delivery there and asked, as a temporary measure, if they could have their post forward to ours until they got a post box. We agreed as it was temporary. It's now eight years later and they refuse to get a post box, say they need a "fixed address" for bank stuff and won't change their details or give this responsibility to anybody else.

A lot has happened between now and then and I'm grey rock. They're now not very mobile/borderline housebound and they used to expect us to wait in all weekend for them to come and collect their post when they fancied. They now expect us to ferry it to them at their whim.

I won't take my kids there as it's a hotbox of cigarette smoke and filth. Ss and stuff have been involved but they constantly refuse help.

My dsis and his partners kids live locally. Both drive. Both have more free time than me but won't help with the post.

I've just had a text from my dad asking me to bring their post to them this minute (errr, no) and I've said I can't because I'm sorting the kids dinner, out of town tomorrow through till next week and haven't got the time sadly.

He's got all arsey with me and I'm bloody sick of it. We get more post for them than for us.

Wibu to just return to sender absolutely everything in future?

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:37:11

They were told*

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:38:38

Also I don't drive due to medical reasons*

Cremeeggsareforever Thu 28-Feb-19 16:39:05

No I wouldn't say YABU to RTS. I get a lot of post for a family memner and have asked them to sort it all out for months. They still haven't so now I RTS. They were warned.

Disfordarkchocolate Thu 28-Feb-19 16:40:54

Return their post to the sender.

Notthatsimple Thu 28-Feb-19 16:42:06

Do you know the address of their mobile home/site? Can you write them a letter and hand it over when ever you do next hand over their post which says that in one month you will start returning to sender, “not at this address” on the envelopes? Even better, email it to them so they can’t deny they were warned?

Popsicle434544 Thu 28-Feb-19 16:43:19

Yanbu
Rts the lot x

Laiste Thu 28-Feb-19 16:44:46

One confrontation avoiding solution would be to get a simple little secure box fixed outside your house and give them a key. You bung their post in it and they can come and collect it (if and) when they like without involving you any further.

Laiste Thu 28-Feb-19 16:46:58

20 quid for one from screwfix (black or white) but i can't do a link ....

RandomMess Thu 28-Feb-19 16:47:11

Have they been using your address to avoid paying council tax and avoid illegally living on site for 52 weeks of the year?

I would be very suspicious at their refusal to use their own address...

Tartanwallpaper Thu 28-Feb-19 16:47:21

I think the real reason may be so they don't have to pay any council tax , wouldn't having post to the caravan prove they lived there full time?

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:48:02

@Laiste we tried that before but they got all huffy about it. He's now housebound and she only drives to things that she wants to. They expect me to get my husband to drive one of his very rare days off or for me to walk to them with it. A four mile round trip. sad

Tartanwallpaper Thu 28-Feb-19 16:48:13

Random mess- great minds eh?

ChakiraChakra Thu 28-Feb-19 16:48:16

I'd give them notice. One month to rearrange their post, anything arriving on or after 1 April 2019 will be returned to sender. And I'd bundle anything that comes between now and then up one a week and either deliver to them or to one of the other children who will be seeing them soon.

Grey rock is good. Obviously they've taken the piss. I just think you need to give them firm notice to sort it out otherwise you are the unreasonable one.

Laiste Thu 28-Feb-19 16:48:22

Ooh tenner on ebay smile
www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/lockable-post-box

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:49:41

Yeah there was a council tax issue when it began and they had a dispute with the site about it. They said to me they actually started paying council tax... somehow. They're not registered to vote here or on the electoral role.

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:50:20

They do t live there all 52 weeks. For one month a year they move into a hotel (at enormous expense) just over the road from the site.

Laiste Thu 28-Feb-19 16:51:03

Oh bugger them getting huffy about it! If she can drive she can drive to get her bloody post!

I'd tell them it's the post box or return to sender. Their choice.

PMT here and angry for you angrygrin

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Thu 28-Feb-19 16:51:31

Can you speak to the local postal depot and explain you no longer wish their mail to be sent to you?

RandomMess Thu 28-Feb-19 16:52:10

You absolutely need to RTS they could be racking up debt on your address, you could be seen as complicit in council tax fraud...

Chloemol Thu 28-Feb-19 16:53:47

send a message saying they have two weeks to advise everyone of their current address. Advise for the next two weeks you will take the post in, but they need to come and collect it. After the two weeks everything will be return to sender, not known at this address they xxxx and type in their current address

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:54:26

@RandomMess I know they don't have any debt thankfully but the council tax thing does worry me somewhat.

Laiste Thu 28-Feb-19 16:56:35

My dsis and his partners kids live locally. Both drive. Both have more free time than me but won't help with the post.

So your sister refuses to pander to it.

Look inside and think - what is the reason you won't just say ''no dad - i'm not doing it anymore''.

cheesenpickles Thu 28-Feb-19 16:56:36

Though they pay a service fee to the park and the park leases the land from the council, so would that have the associated charges with it? He used to be very open about money and paperwork with us but since they got together he won't tell us anything. There's a lot more financial stuff to the situation but it's very outing, messy and upsetting.

Travis1 Thu 28-Feb-19 16:58:09

Fuck that! Give them 4 weeks notice. This is the ideal time as well. Reply to him and say the arrangement obviously isn't working anymore for either of you and they need to make alternative arrangements commencing 1st of April. After this date you'll RTS

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