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AIBU?

to consider 2 different primary schools for different DC?

23 replies

RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 09:37

Name Changed.

Have 3 DC in primary - Y4, Y2 and Y1. DH and I have decided we are not happy with the current school for a variety of reasons. The most pressing are those relating to the Y4 DC.

I have seen a brilliant school, absolutely perfect for the DC but they only have space for Y2 and Y1. There is a chance for Y4 on appeal.

WIBU to consider moving the Y2 and Y1 DCs regardless of the appeal and move Y4 DC to another school which is still great but would be second choice if the appeal failed?

This would mean for 2 years DH and I would be trying to juggle school runs to 2 schools 15mins apart by car. DH works, I'm a SAHM. Theoretically the school runs work until DH has an early start (rare) or any afternoon meeting (less rare, maybe every 2 weeks) where i would be having to rely on my parents to help. (which they will if we ask).

so WIBU to do this?

Also - anyone got any experience of mid-year KS2 appeals?!

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 10:51

Taking the silence to mean I'm mad to consider this then!

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Tinty · 28/02/2019 10:59

If the issues are most pressing for the Y4 DC wouldn't it make sense to find a school that would take them first?

It seems odd to move the other DC first, unless you think by the time they get to Y4 they will have the same issues? Do you think that if you get the other DC into the new school they will more likely take Y4 DC on appeal?

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 11:18

tinty yes the head implied that appeals were looked at more favourably if there were other siblings at the school already.

The school that we like (but not as much) that can take Y4 cant take the younger and have no pre-school for the baby to follow.

ideally we want to move all DC as I do not agree with the new ethos/drive of the current school. But Y4 DC has some in class issues that are not being addressed to my satisfaction hence why it is most important to move that one.

I love the top choice school so much and its different to what anything else offers. i feel bad if i move Y4 to a school and therefore stop the younger ones from going to an amazing school (logistically i can keep the younger where they are and manage the school runs for the second choice school for Y4)

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BlingLoving · 28/02/2019 11:27

I would absolutely do this. Firstly, because the chances are with two DC in the school already, your child would jump to the top of the waiting list. The biggest risk is that you have to move her twice - ie to the second choice school then a month later to the first choice school. So I'd even consider leaving her in the bad school in hopes that you'll get into the better school shortly.

As for the logistics of the school run, if your'e a SAHM and DH is around at least some of time, I see no reason this can't work. Particularly as the Y4 child should not need the same level of supervision and could conceivably be dropped a little early, if not now, then certainly by the time of year 5.

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TooLittleTooLate80 · 28/02/2019 11:46

My parents did this for me and my brother in the late 80's. My brother had dyspraxia which whilst he was of above average intelligence meant he was a very slow worker. The head at the school we were at was fairly old at the time and not really accepting of the new(ish) diagnoses around learning difficulties so labelled my brother lazy (he actually put it a lot less diplomatic than that) so my parents moved him to a school 1.5 miles in the other direction and I did my last year at that primary school before moving on to middle school. It helped that my brothers new school was on the way to my parents work and I was still able to get to my school no problem due to its proximity.

He did really well there and around 5 years later we were both at the same comprehensive anyway.

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pearldeodorant · 28/02/2019 11:46

I would definitely do it.

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 11:50

the drop off is more easily managed, but i cannot do both pick ups. it would rely on DH leaving work for 15 mins to go and collect them and take them back to his office, i would be about 5 mins behind him to pick the younger DC up from him after already collecting Y4 DC.

my folks think we're mad to put this much pressure on ourselves (both DH and I are on A-Ds but well managed and in control) but i can't get past how good this school is and it feels wrong to disadvantage the younger DC for the sake of 2 years of chaos.

Plus there is a decent chance eldest will get in on appeal.

DH thinks its do-able. but i really respect my parents opinions (we are close, we discuss all big choices with them for their thoughts/advice).

I dont think moving DC twice is a good option, so we would be moving the younger, leaving eldest at the bad school until the appeal, then move to second choice if appeal unsuccessful.

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 11:51

toolittle great to hear from someone who had this situation. did you feel it caused extra rushing/stress on your family life growing up that you were aware of?

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AnnaComnena · 28/02/2019 11:57

it would rely on DH leaving work for 15 mins to go and collect them and take them back to his office

Will DH's work agree to him being unavailable for part of every afternoon, and is his office an appropriate place for them to wait? I'm thinking of things like insurance, confidentiality, disruption for other people in the office....

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TooLittleTooLate80 · 28/02/2019 12:00

@RedSchoolBlueSchool no issues whatsoever although I was probably only at the school for maximum a year after and at that point was able to get the bus to school whilst one of my parent's dropped my brother off on the way to work so there were no logistic issues to cause that stress. We also had a relative in the village we lived in that could do the odd collection if needed. Plus we weren't massivley close that age due to me being solely interested in sport and him being interested in everything other than sport so it's not like we missed each other.

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RedHatsDoNotSuitMe · 28/02/2019 12:10

If you think it's do-able, that your reasons are sound and that you can make it work, then I'd say it's a no brainer. Esp as I agree that with 2 DC in the school it will push ch no 3 up the waiting list.

The only thing I don't see in your OP which I would consider important is how your DC would feel about it.

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OKBobble · 28/02/2019 12:11

Go for it if it is what is best for your kids. There will be away round it either using child minders, breakfast clubs and after school clubs if need be. Good luck with the appeal too if needed.

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DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/02/2019 12:11

I think you're sensible to move them. Especially as DC1 will presumably go to top of waiting list if he has siblings in the school. Where are your parents? Are they near enough to grab one of the children?

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DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/02/2019 12:15

Also it's much harder to get kids in to Years 1 and 2 as infants size rules apply. Moving to Year is much easier win an appeal on.

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DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/02/2019 12:15

If you post this on the primary ed board there are some experts on there who may be able to give some advice re your eldest.

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 12:16

anna there would be no problem with DH's work, he is a high level manager in a family friendly company. he would be taking his lunch break late to facilitate. the DC would never need to go into the office, the would wait in the car park for me as i would literally be 5 mins behind them if that.

redhats the DC want to move. When i told them about what is on offer at the top choice they all wanted to move right now. Y4 DC was upset when i explained about the space issue and they asked for me to try to get them in. They would be a bit dissapointed if they dont get a place but i think would still be much happier at the second choice school.

my parents are local to the current and second choice schools. they would help if we really needed but they dont think its the best decision (they favour leaving youngers where they are and moving eldest and hoping places come up for the youngers as they have less immediate problems at the current school). they do not want to be held to very regular pick ups (understandable and not an issue)

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 12:17

donotblame that was my hope too about the class size restriction. thanks for the advice, i will post over there later.

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DoNotBlameMeIVotedRemain · 28/02/2019 12:20

:)

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UnperfectLife · 28/02/2019 13:30

I think i would- if the admissions criteria give siblings priority ( after children in care) then there's a good chance you'd jump to near the top of any waiting list. In my experience there is more movement in and out of school in the older years. Can the school tell you where your Yr 4 would be on the waiting list in the scans room that you get the younger two in?And can they tell you stats for those moving in and out of each year group over the last 3 years??? Just to give you an idea.
It's so hard to make decisions in the dark without all the relevant info...but that seems to be the way with school admissions. But yo me, sounds like a risk worth taking if you can manage the logistics of any interregnum!

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 28/02/2019 14:43

yes siblings would get priority after children in care but as they are already over the number several would have to leave to avoid going through an appeal.

I'm going to get another meeting with the head to discuss.

i was wondering if saying the other DC have a place waiting is enough or do i have to enrol the others fully before appealing for the best chance.

noone has said i'm mad to consider it which is encouraging! i really want to take the chance and then suffer the school run if we dont win the appeal.

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MovingThisYearDefinitely · 28/02/2019 15:18

I did this with secondary schools. It was a major PITA but it actually worked out well for them being in different settings seeing as they are so different! I didn't bother appealing for my eldest to get into her sisters school in the end. One thing to consider, you'll have the 2 school scenario as soon as your eldest goes to secondary school anyway, so unless it is possible for them to make their own way to school you could end up with a potential 3 schools to pick up & drop off from. If the logistics work for you then go for it though!

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museumum · 28/02/2019 15:24

on what basis would you be appealing? I can't see how you have a basis for appeal?

In which case you're looking at moving two younger to an AMAZING school and the poor eldest who is having most issues to a second best school - that just doesn't seem fair to me. I'd rather send them all to the second best in the interests of fairness and if that means the eldest going first so be it.

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RedSchoolBlueSchool · 01/03/2019 07:26

museumum there isn't space at the second choice school for the Y2 and Y1. It would be less likely to get 2 spaces come up than one surely?

DH is very keen to go for it.

Our appeal points are:
faith school
focus on creative free play
forest school into KS2
willingness to stream for maths where necessary
music department
all these things are relevant to DC and not offered (certainly not all together) at any other local school.

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