I’ve recently (a month ago) left my husband. I think he has narcissist tendencies and eventually I got driven too far and lost myself with trying to ‘help’ him. I’ve forgotten who I am, and I’m trying to get over it. He says he can change, says he’s done a lot of thinking and wants us to try again. We have two kids together, I do still love him but at the same time I’m desparately trying not to go back. I’m going to list some of our issues and if people could be frank with me, I’d be grateful.
- he came up with tests to try and ‘prove’ that I don’t love him; ie, he’d pretend he had fucked his colleague and then told me hadn’t in order to see what my reaction would be. He didn’t tell me for a week. He then monitored my behaviour during this week to see how I acted
- he made stuff up, constantly. He told me loads of crazy, probably not true things in order to boost his image. I don’t want to list it as it’s outing, but a lot of it is far fetched and simply orchestrated in order to make him look special.
- he would threaten to leave me all the time. Say I didn’t love him, etc... just so I’d try and convince him otherwise and he’d get the assurance
- he got funny over tiny things; ie, if I wore makeup when meeting a male colleague, I didn’t love him because I was putting in the elder for the male colleague
- he love bombed me initially. Like, crazily. I didn’t see this at the time as I was young and naive
- a few times he threatened me with revealing things about me if I acted in a certain way
- he made up things my friends HAD NOT said to manipulate me, became stroppy and controlling when we socialised and eventually cut me off from most of my friends
- he had weird ideas about family life, believed I should only need him, wanted me at home with he kids all the time and even found it weird that I wanted to meet my friends for coffee, cause why would I when I have a family? His words, not mine
He said he didn’t mean any of this and now sees it wasn’t normal. Apparently he has changed in 3 weeks
Since we split, he’s tried many tactics- saying I never loved him, threatening to never speak to me again, is still making stuff up that my friends ‘said.’
A part of my wants to believe he can change but I call bull
I am not BU to keep well away am I?!