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Cutting out family

(9 Posts)
SofaSurfer20 Wed 27-Feb-19 19:16:05

How easy is it really to cut out certain 'family'?. We rarely speak and when we do its not nice, we live over 150 miles apart and Im always blamed for her issues and the game playing has been going on for around 15 years, I'm sick of it.

She doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Her children are my niece and nephew, I love them but we don't know each other, never have.

Im tired of it. And I honestly cant stand her.

It makes it difficult because we have another sister who we both talk to and share the same father (i adore him, she doesn't feel that way about him. Only wants to be around him when she wants something).

How do I do this without making it awkward for others?

TabbyMumz Wed 27-Feb-19 19:32:34

It's quite easy really....but if it's your Sister, you will have to accept that you probably won't have much to do with your niece and nephew going forward. We have pretty much cut ties with a couple in our family, it's not hard at all as we don't tend to have big family get togethers anyway.

Ozziewozzie Wed 27-Feb-19 19:39:16

It's the best thing I ever did. I know your pain!!!
Other family members (who you have s more positive relationship with) are probably aware of the difficulties.
So it doesn't feel so awkward, just cut ties with your sister and leave it at that. If the subject is raised ever, just explain you'd rather not drag anyone into it or do you want to be unkind, but this is how it needs to be for you.

They will have to accept it.
At least then, in the future, should circumstances change, you've been balanced and fair to everyone.
If your sister chooses to be spiteful about it, then let her. Your family aren't stupid and often, the one doing all the stabbing is often the one who people want to close the door on.
Best of luck and enjoy the peace and quiet

HolidayQ Wed 27-Feb-19 19:49:21

Easy really. I have no contact with my mum through choice and my ex has no contact with our kids, his choice. Its not difficult just dont contact them.

Sirzy Wed 27-Feb-19 19:57:20

We haven’t had any contact with my uncle for over 20 years other than seeing him at my nans funeral where we were civil (through gritted teeth!)

My aunts and uncle still have contact with him but know and respect why we don’t and don’t talk to him about us and vice Versa

Siriismyonlyfriend Wed 27-Feb-19 20:11:06

I saw someone say this before but I’d go no contact by stealth.
Just don’t get in touch, don’t mention in front of your other sister or your dad, don’t send cards gifts etc, don’t make an announcement your going no contact. Just act like they don’t exist.
Don’t feel guilty or be guilted into contact.

Drum2018 Wed 27-Feb-19 20:20:30

*Just don’t get in touch, don’t mention in front of your other sister or your dad, don’t send cards gifts etc, don’t make an announcement your going no contact. Just act like they don’t exist.
Don’t feel guilty or be guilted into contact.*

Exactly ^this. We are NC with sil. We saw her at one funeral since and just ignored her. Relatives didn't question it, some knew some didn't. In our case there are no other family events so not seeing her is easy. If your other sister or father bring her up in conversation just change the subject or say politely that you are not interested. They will hopefully respect your wishes.

SofaSurfer20 Wed 27-Feb-19 20:27:17

Thanks. Ive let other sister know that Im done with her and she seems to get it. So thats something at least.

Wont mention it to anyone else tbh.

And yes, I know ill have no relationship with my niece and nephew but thats no different than now. Shes always used her kids in her little games so I never got close to them to save my own heart, as selfish as that seems.

Ive also not allowed my child to get close to her because I don't trust her abilities as a parental figure.

HallowZombie Wed 27-Feb-19 20:34:22

I stopped speaking to my brother 13 years ago, saw him rarely in the beginning and the last time was at my father's funeral 6 years ago we were civil, it was such a relief to cut him out and my life is better for it.

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