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To hate personal toys at playgroups?

(32 Posts)
MumofTinies Wed 27-Feb-19 14:17:13

Me and DS go to a toddler group once a week and it's pretty good with lots of clean toys and the occasional activity, enough to keep the kids occupied for a couple of hours you would think.

However the last few weeks a Mum has been allowing her DD to bring a bag full of her own toys with her. It's causing so many problems in the group because naturally other kids want to play with these items too, if she leaves them and goes off to play with something else and another child picks them up as soon as she notices she rushes back to snatch them away again. Mum used to intervene and tell her to share but it has become so frequent she's stopped bothering. I now try to steer DS away from her toys to avoid the drama but it is a pain as there are so many of her toys there.

Also I've noticed her behaviour has really taken a dip since this has been happening, she has become really possesive over all of the toys at the playgroup (not just hers) and the snatching really is getting out of hand as it is so frequent and she has now started shoving children who fight back. I'm sure she has become a bit confused because the lines have been blurred between shared group toys and her toys.

The most irritating thing is that there is usually something that gets lost so the Mum tries to rally the others around to look for it, most mums (myself included) just ignore her.

AIBU to think leave your own stuff at home? I think I will have a word with the group leader about it, I don't want to stop going as my DS has really enjoyed it and I have been going since DS1 was little.

PetuniaPetunia Wed 27-Feb-19 14:21:09

Yes the little girl should leave her toys at home.

Piapiapianopianopiano Wed 27-Feb-19 14:22:49

Yanbu, my mum always tries to bring toys for my child to soft play when we meet there, I just point out that it's really inconvenient and makes it difficult when other kids take them.
Ask her why, she must have some reason for making the effort to drag along a load of toys.

EssentialHummus Wed 27-Feb-19 14:24:24

Wss^. I have a good friend who brings her son’s toys to playdates. I think it’s meant in the spirit of sharing and contribution but it’s practically a bit difficult!

MarshaBradyo Wed 27-Feb-19 14:28:35

Yanbu annoying for everyone else

ScrumpyBetty Wed 27-Feb-19 14:31:24

Yes definitely have a word with play group leader about this. Bringing bag full of own toys is silly and bound to cause problems.

averystrangeweek Wed 27-Feb-19 14:39:41

Who's in charge at the playgroup? They really ought to have a word and tell the mum that it has to stop.

Hahaha88 Wed 27-Feb-19 14:40:01

Why would you bring a bag of toys to a play group?? Yanbu. It would annoy me too. Mind when someone takes a bike/scooter etc into a play ground and the kid uses it in there it annoys me as my son thinks it's the play grounds and wants to go on it too ! I know you've got to take it in with you but just leave it to the side man

MumofTinies Wed 27-Feb-19 14:42:40

Piapiapianopianopiano (great username btw) I haven't really spoken to her much, but the impression I get is that she is quite pfb so I think to save a tantrum at home she just brings the toys along and it has just escalated to more toys. I would be interested to know why but I dare not ask her as I don't want it to be traceable back to me if the leader does impose a no home toy rule.

Missbel Wed 27-Feb-19 14:43:08

YANBU Learning to share is an invaluable part of playgroup. Bringing along a favourite toy - the sort of toy that the child takes everywhere with them - would be fair enough, but even that should be put away at the playgroup and only produced if needed to get over an upset.

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree Wed 27-Feb-19 14:44:45

Speak to the person who runs the Toddlergroup.

lmusic87 Wed 27-Feb-19 14:44:58

100% talk to the leader.

seafoodudon Wed 27-Feb-19 14:46:10

Urgh, one (or two) things as 'transition' objects (favourite teddy, blanket) but back of toys = total PITA.

ShabbyAbby Wed 27-Feb-19 14:47:00

I thought this was going to be about a comfort object! Not a bag of toys!
I think a comfort object is different (mine wouldn't leave it at home and needed it for naps but I would take it off them and leave it in the buggy during groups if I could), but a bag of toys is bonkers.

ShabbyAbby Wed 27-Feb-19 14:47:21

Sorry x post

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 27-Feb-19 14:51:24

I would also talk to the group leader. This woman is being ridiculous.

MumofTinies Wed 27-Feb-19 14:53:25

Oh no definitely not comfort items, DS1 had a comfort item but I would even leave that in the bag as I was too scared to lose it!
I feel bad for the leader, it is a church group that she gives up her spare time to run. We had a problem a couple of years back where one or two mums were completely ignoring there kids running riot, she laminated a twee poem and put it up around the hall (probably outed the group there, but the posters did the job) I wonder what she will come up with for this grin

ReanimatedSGB Wed 27-Feb-19 15:28:04

Definitely have a word with the play leader - quite possibly once again, you need laminated signs or a message to all families along the lines of 'Please don't bring your own toys as it is causing confusion and upsetting some of the little ones.'

It really is tricky for toddlers to understand the idea that teddy or toy train A is for anyone to play with and can be shared, but train or teddy B mustn't be touched by anyone else. Even more so if the kid who owns the toys gets bored with one, puts it down in plain sight and bumbles off to play with something else...

LilQueenie Wed 27-Feb-19 15:41:28

I get the feeling its stop her dd having a meltdown. Have a word with the people who run the group. they make make a rule of no bringing in your own toys. with the exception of a small one in the pram that most kids have.

Fishwifecalling Wed 27-Feb-19 15:43:33

Haven't you bitched about it with the other mums. If you haven't, you are a better person than me!

Purplepricklesalloverhisback Wed 27-Feb-19 15:45:23

I even make DS leave his comforter soft toy in the car for play groups because it isn’t fair on anyone if another child can’t look at it or play with it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Wed 27-Feb-19 15:47:29

I can understand a child bringing its beloved, worn out teddy etc but not loads of toys. That’s just daft and annoying. Speak to the organiser.

llangennith Wed 27-Feb-19 15:51:35

Speak to the Playgroup leader about it. It's obviously causing problems for a few people.

B3ck89 Wed 27-Feb-19 15:56:16

I would definitely have a word with the group leader.
My 14 month old takes his Mickey Mouse teddy, but that’s ever it and if another little one wanted to see it I would encourage my little one to share and assure him he would have it back before we leave.
I’m surprised no one has said anything to her

MumofTinies Wed 27-Feb-19 15:59:49

Haven't you bitched about it with the other mums. If you haven't, you are a better person than me!

Haha I have been tempted to! I reckon everyone must have noticed, we're just waiting for someone else to start the bitching grin

I'll try and get there early next week so I can have a chat with the leader.

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