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To be glad this apparent new trend of being a martyr has passed me by?

(296 Posts)
TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 27-Feb-19 06:41:28

I genuinely don’t know if this is a new thing or I just managed to avoid it but lately I’ve heard, read, etc from so many people who are not allowed any sort of life at all because they have a child.
For example
the woman who doesn’t colour her hair because her natural hair colour is the same as her daughter’s and her daughter might think there’s something wrong with x colour hair

The woman who will never drink orange juice as her son loves it and she wants to make sure that every time he fancies a glass, it’s there

The woman who will not attend a child free family event as it’s mkre important her children know she is always there for them

People who insist that they can’t have, for example, a bar of chocolate when their child isn’t there unless they buy them a bigger bar

All the people who claim they cannot drink a coffee or go for a wee because their child won’t let them

Admittedly my children are older teens/young adults now but I am sure that my entire life didn’t end because they were born. I’m sure I was still a person as well.
When did that become a bad thing?

SeeYouLaterUserData Wed 27-Feb-19 06:50:51

I don't recognise any of the points in your post. I've never met anyone like that or even heard those views being expressed before.

Bizarre confused

thefirst48 Wed 27-Feb-19 06:53:04

Haha I've not met anyone like this either!

ChodeofChodeHall Wed 27-Feb-19 06:53:36

What an odd world you inhabit, OP.

bigchris Wed 27-Feb-19 06:54:45

Well the childfree reference is obviously weddings

It is hard leaving your baby screaming just so you can drink a hot coffee rather than a tepid one

MoseShrute Wed 27-Feb-19 06:54:57

Yeah, l think you are exaggerating OP. Who refuses to go to the loo because their child doesnt let them? Also, the orange juice thing sounds bollocks....l drink it, as do my kids, but guess what....when it runs out, l just buy more....

bigchris Wed 27-Feb-19 06:55:30

Is the hair dye one a thread on here , sounds interesting

NorthernKnickers Wed 27-Feb-19 06:56:45

Never met anyone with these kind of 'issues' OP. And I'm a teacher, so as well as my own friends/family circle, I meet an above average number of parents on a daily basis...none of whom behave like this, so 🤷‍♀️

It's just you...how weird that all the martyrs are within your circle 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

TantrumsAndBalloons Wed 27-Feb-19 06:56:51

Well I’m not exaggerating but ok confused these are all conversations I’ve had with actual people

Never mind.

1ndig0 Wed 27-Feb-19 06:57:20

These are lots of random observations OP. I’m not sure they collate to a “trend”. People have all kinds of habits, but does it matter?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Wed 27-Feb-19 06:58:46

It’s not a trend
You have just been speaking with exceptionally weird people
Working FT I get a whole different bucket of weird

DroningOn Wed 27-Feb-19 06:59:50

People who insist that they can’t have, for example, a bar of chocolate when their child isn’t there unless they buy them a bigger bar

Who thinks like this?

I'm thinking yay! no kids = no sharing = all the chocolate for Droning!

SleepingBooty Wed 27-Feb-19 07:00:16

I don't know anyone who panders to their DC in this way. They are creating problems for all of us when entitled little Jimmy can't share or wait or experience the unfairness of life in general.

O4FS Wed 27-Feb-19 07:00:51

Odd and judgemental.

How does it impact you?

Tennesseewhiskey Wed 27-Feb-19 07:02:31

I actually know someone who, over the course of our friendship has done all these.

Its non of my business though. Except when she moans about the sacrifices she makes. At which point I tell her that she brings it on herself. She usually laughs and agrees then we move on

Mumbunsandhuns Wed 27-Feb-19 07:03:53

hmm never heard these ones apart from sometimes I really need a wee but LO hasn’t slept all at all and is asleep on me.

ContessaIsOnADietDammit Wed 27-Feb-19 07:04:10

I don't think I've encountered any of those except the bathroom one, which happened to me because DS1 was offended at my daring to leave his sight when an infant grin The others all seem a bit extreme.

Although.... you've made me remember the Mother's Day tea school did for Reception parents; every other mother carefully pocketed the 1 cake we were given, so their child could have it. I ate mine blush

adaline Wed 27-Feb-19 07:04:15

I've read threads on here that say things like you describe OP so I don't quite understand the responses!

Plenty of people have posted on here saying they can't even get a minute to pee alone or to shower alone while their kids are awake because the child constantly screams for mummy. I've also read loads of posts where posters say their working husband has it easier because he can at least drink a coffee while it's hot!

notanothernam Wed 27-Feb-19 07:04:44

I know exactly the kind of person you mean and see plenty of them on here, and in RL, I think it's getting better but it's still around "oh I couldn't possibly......."

SavoyCabbage Wed 27-Feb-19 07:08:40

I stopped dying my hair blonde when dd was a toddler so we looked more alike but in my defence I’m white and my dc are mixed race and she actually was aware we didn’t look like each other. I dyed it again when she was a bit older.

SavoyCabbage Wed 27-Feb-19 07:09:49

And I definitely didn’t talk about it!

BalloonSlayer Wed 27-Feb-19 07:13:09

I used to know someone who used the line "well when you've got kids" for many situations and it used to make me feel like some child-free snowflake drifting through my pampered life with no idea what the real world was like.

An example.

Her "We don't eat dinner till 9pm because there's too much to do"
Me "Oh no really? I couldn't wait till 9pm for my dinner"
Her "Well when you've got kids you have to"
Me . . . goes quiet

I have now got one more child than she had and I have NEVER eaten my dinner as late as 9pm !

FruitRiot Wed 27-Feb-19 07:15:17

Oh wow, well done to you for putting yourself first above your kids. 👏🏻hmm🤦🏼‍♀️😒

MsTSwift Wed 27-Feb-19 07:15:22

Leaving a long awaited rare meet up of old friends in a big dramatic bustle because she felt “she had to get home” suddenly as her enormous healthy 9 year old dd was at home with her very competent father but a run of the mill childhood illness. We all pretended it was normal but wtf finish your dinner you martyr

Bunnyfuller Wed 27-Feb-19 07:17:16

We declined an invite to a child free wedding when ours were v small. We didn’t have childcare. Simple.

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