Feeling lonely(4 Posts)
Think I'm looking for someone to relate and tell me it's going to be ok...
Got a 4 week old who's amazing but despite having family around and going out here and there, I feel bloody lonely. Today I've not spoken to anyone all day in person apart from the baby then when my OH came in from work he's on his phone and not very chatty. I feel I "over talk" to him and conscious I could be getting annoying but I can't help it - I just need that interaction!
I adore my son, I've a great support network but day to day I'm bored! I'm a machine going through routines to keep this little human alive which yes is creditable but also tedious, boring and often when he's playing up, exhausting. I've cried to myself multiple times and everyone I've expressed a hint of how difficult I'm finding it has just told me it's baby blues, or "he'll get better soon" or "it's normal" but I'm seriously struggling and basically pretending I'm not. Surely that's not normal? Or maybe I'm being dramatic or over thinking all this ?
It's perfectly normal!!
I felt like this too and I'm sure every mom has at some point.
When DD was a baby I joined parent and toddler groups, two a week and she slept for most of it which meant I got to have a hot cup of tea and a chat with adults who are in the same situation.
I'm definitely a shy person and it was way out of my comfort zone but it was honestly the best thing I could have done for my mental health.
DD is 3 now and I'm still friends with the same moms I sat with at my first one.
Hope things get better for you soon, congratulations on your little one
I was exactly the same. My husband would walk in and I would not shut up 😂
Then I finally got the bottle to go to groups, I’m naturally really shy so was quite a big deal. I made lifelong friends at one of the groups.
What you’re feeling is totally normal but it gets easier. You’ll start going out a bit and you’ll settle into a routine where you have social time too. It’s amazing how much better it all feels when your little one is playing and you’re speaking to an adult who is probably going through very similar things. It gets easier, hang in there.
I'm sorry you feel this way OP although I do think its sadly not that unusual, I know I went through the same thing. Its a big shock going from being able to do whatever whenever to looking after a baby which is incredibly isolating at times. I would definately do as PP suggested and try to attend a couple of playgroups a week, they used to make me feel 'normal' as you can bet there will be other mums in just the same position. Also, if you can get out once a day even just to walk around the block. It used to make me feel so much better and break the day up. I also broke the day down into chunks so I would look at the time until morning break (I would 'treat' myself to a nice snack or coffee mid morning) then power through til lunch, then go off for a walk and by that time DH was never too far from coming home. With a baby group in the mix the days went by easier as then I knew I would atleast have a chat with someone too.
Doesnt sound much but give it a go?
My DS is 16mo now and I am back to work part time. I look forward to our 'free days' very much but even still sometimes struggle when I am shut in for the weather etc. Try to focus on the good bits. Its true they say they arent that little (and rather helpless) for long. Mine is a terror now!!
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