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To not want to drink

(18 Posts)
Cranleighbud Tue 26-Feb-19 19:14:38

In a few weeks I’m going for a night out with a few girlfriends. One who I haven’t seen in a very long time. The plan originally was to go out for a meal then some drinks and DH was going to pick me up, now the plan is to just go for drinks. The problem is I really don’t want to drink alcohol, it sounds easy that I can just say I’m not drinking but it’s always oh why do you have to be boring etc etc. I used to love a drink and would always be the first up dancing and the life of a party doing shots and letting my hair down but as I’ve got a bit older I get extreme anxiety the next day worrying about what I said or how I acted even thought I can remember the whole night, even if I have a few glasses of wine I get this crippling anxiety which lasts for days! The girls I’m going out with know how bad my anxiety is as they’ve seen me a day after a drinking session and know how bad it affects me. They both have children whereas I don’t so they see it as a night off, I suppose they expect me to get wasted with them because I don’t have children either so can’t use that as a reason for not drinking too much. For context I’m 26. Could I just slyly order my own drinks and pretend ?

Chloemol Tue 26-Feb-19 19:43:36

Could you drive? Then use that as a reason not to drink. Or just be honest and tell them you don’t want to drink alcohol. I don’t drink, people make those comments to me, I just smile and move on, thinking what sad losers they are that they need a drink to enjoy themselves

Samind Tue 26-Feb-19 19:46:15

Tell them you're on antibiotics? Can't drink with certain ones. Also Im sure they'd understand if you didn't fancy drinking but fancied a night out. Long as you don't mind looking after the others 😂😂😂

DisplayPurposesOnly Tue 26-Feb-19 19:49:21

Don't announce it, just order the drinks you fancy. If anyone asks you, shrug and smile, say "You know I don't really drink these days." If they push it, point out that it's only an issue for them, you're quite happy. If they say any more, sack 'em.

Drinking isn't compulsory. Have confidence in your own decisions smile

chipsandpeas Tue 26-Feb-19 19:51:02

just tell them your not wanting to drink, any kind of excuse like on antibiotics etc they may assume your pregnant

SavageBeauty73 Tue 26-Feb-19 19:52:58

I've never been forced to drink when I don't want to. Just say you can't as the anxiety is too bad 🤷‍♀️ real friends won't nag

BackforGood Tue 26-Feb-19 20:05:44

What Display said.
Don't start making up excuses - own it.

MrsEricBana Tue 26-Feb-19 20:10:37

Yep, own it! I don't drink much either and I don't care what people think.

winterisstillcoming Tue 26-Feb-19 20:12:07

Agree, just tell them you're having a break from the drink. I don't always drink when I go out and don't feel the need to justify it. I just say I'm not in the mood and leave it at that.

puppy23 Tue 26-Feb-19 20:31:12

I'm the same - I don't really want to drink much anymore either but I feel so pressured into doing so.

Placemarking to look for good solutions

user1492809438 Tue 26-Feb-19 20:51:12

Same here, Used to be a party animal but I got tired of suffering the following day [and the day after]. My friends say 'Ooh you are being good'...I'm not, I just don't want to waste yet another day recovering from a hangover. It's a friend's birthday soon and I'm considering not going because I have no intention of getting slaughtered to join in.

BlimeyCalmDown Tue 26-Feb-19 21:54:08

Does it depend what type of drink you have?
I get bad anxiety the following day if I drink red wine, at my best if cider or white wine, beer is somewhere in the middle. Odd time gin then very gloomy and anxious.

Titsywoo Tue 26-Feb-19 21:59:18

I have a similar issue with some friends. They are good friends but I guess when people want to drink they prefer to be surrounded by other drinkers in case they do stupid stuff 😁. We're in our 40s and less people drink nowadays which I prefer as it makes it easier. I do have one friend who seems to struggle when others aren't drinking but I think she is having issues. I just say I'm not drinking and let people moan. Most don't care.

milleniumhandandprawn Tue 26-Feb-19 22:05:35

Following with interest - I'm exactly the same these days. Palpitations and anxiety after drinking any quantities at all, as you say I can have crystal clear recall and I'll still end up in an agony of overthinking for about 36 hours or more!

Have googled and there's nothing online - does seem quite common though - sort of the ultimate "beer fear" confused

Drum2018 Tue 26-Feb-19 22:10:21

Just tell them you have given up for health reasons. If they question any more than that tell them it's nothing for them to be concerned about and have another subject ready to talk about. It took me a few more years than you to stand up and just say I don't drink. The hangovers, anxiety, and all the nonsense that goes with drinking, not to mention the cost, is really not worth it.

Angie169 Tue 26-Feb-19 22:11:00

I would tell them that you did dry Jan and felt great , can now fit into your fav jeans and saved some money . So you are going to continue staying dry for now .

nokidshere Tue 26-Feb-19 22:24:05

I drink very rarely. If I don't want a drink I don't have one. No excuses just no thanks.

MellowMelly Tue 26-Feb-19 22:24:42

I don’t really drink at all anymore as it gives me anxiety and gives me awful headaches. I also had a few pushy friends but I’ve told them how alcohol makes me feel, both on the night and the day after, and said I’d rather go out and enjoy myself rather than near on hyperventilating all night.
Like previous posters said, you got to ‘own it’. Good friends will accept it and just be happy you’re there in whatever capacity that you choose to be.

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