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To move and not tell the in-laws....(very lighthearted)

(295 Posts)
Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 17:55:47

Hi everyone...first time poster, long time stalker here. My life is pretty boring so never had anything of real substance to moan about on here but finally something I and ask you lovely people is IAMBU...

Now obviously I won't change the locks. I have a 4 year old and a 7 week old so it would be far too much of a bother (and mean I have to stop cuddling the kids to do it).

So...DH, MIL, SIL and her DH and 5 DC (yes 5) all live in a 5 mile radius of us. We moved from London 10 years ago and they all liked the area and to my horror have moved here. DH thinks it is great but as you can imagine I am distraught (feigning total trauma here).

3 days ago I went out on my own with my 2 DD, it was genuinely stressful due to discovering that my 4 year old had taken all the nappies out of the baby bag midway through a nappy change. Thankfully a mum was waiting outside and took pity on me and gave me spare nappy...angels do exist.

So frazzled and stressed I arrived home and opened the front door...to be met with 5 kids in the playroom that had been totally ransacked (oldest is 12 and was literally throwing things across the room). The utter shock must have been all over my face as when I walked in the living room all 4 of the adults started making excuses about the state of the house. oh they are just kids, they will tidy up, they are just excited...etc...etc.

I could feel my face getting red and then I look at my BIL and see he is eating the dinner I had put in the slow cooker and in the corner of the room a box of chocolates I had bought as a thank you to my neighbours had been opened and half eaten.

I am now very ashamed about what happened next but I somewhat exploded. I tried to restrain myself but found whilst asking 'Is that our dinner?' to my husband that my voice was rather loud and shrill...he looked sheepish and BIL smirked to which I then completely went bat shit crazy...

For context - today is my anniversary (8 years) I had prepared the meal at 6 this morning whilst the kids were still sleeping, our neighbour (who I have become very close to over the last 10 years and has basically been like a mum/gran to us) is having the girls for 2 hours so we can eat and just have a little celebration. (Hence the chocolates).

Anyway I told SIL to get in the playroom and tidy up. She looked shocked and said she was always going to tidy (a lie, she never does). Asked who opened the chocolates to which the MIL piped up and said she thought it would be nice for the kids...I told her it was not her place and was a thank you present. She stormed out. BIL slowly put his bowl down and went to help SIL.

They have now all gone - thank fully no-one tried to speak to me and I can hear DH cleaning and sorting out the house.

Have pretty much decided I am putting the house on the market tomorrow and moving.

Please tell me that I am not being a tit here...that was totally out of order right?

Few disclaimers - I have not spoken to DH so I am not sure if he offered the food or BIL just took it. Same with the chocolates. I also do not know if they were here before husband got home. MIL has a spare key for emergencies (which I am requesting back).

I have decided that DH can have the kids for the 2 hours tonight and I am off next door to have my dinner with Gladys. What is a reasonable amount of time I can go without having to look at him?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:02:32

Eeek. I think DH was a shit for not telling that it was your anniversary and the meal was for you both. What’s wrong with him? Forgetful? Laid back? Doesn’t give a shit?

I’m not surprised you exploded. DH needs to straighten things out with his family and explain why you lost it.

Do something nice for yourself definitely.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:05:05

@GreatDuckCookery DH has just admitted he forgot about anniversary so not only have I come home to all this shit but I don't even have a bloody card. Eurgh bloody men

Boobiliboobiliboo Tue 26-Feb-19 18:07:20

I’d be googling industrial sized mincers by now.

Sneakyisbest Tue 26-Feb-19 18:08:29

Yanbu

That would really piss me off. Send your husband out to get you dinner and a replacement box of choccies, if he has an ounce of sense he would get you a box too.

MutantDisco Tue 26-Feb-19 18:08:28

Yeah I'd be moving, and leaving DH behind.

needsleepzzz Tue 26-Feb-19 18:08:35

I would have exploded too, that is bang out of order! Good on you making your SIL tidy up.
Make husband buy a takeaway and get the locks changed! No more MIL having a key

NataliaOsipova Tue 26-Feb-19 18:09:25

Good for you. Bloody good for you. So many posts on here about in-laws crossing lines and 9 times out of 10 I end up wondering why people don’t just woman up and say something! You - quite reasonably - showed your annoyance. In context and at the time. Good for you. I’d have been fizzing in the circumstances and don’t blame you. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to apologise for. Any apology is absolutely due to you.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:10:20

Oh dear. He needs to make it up pronto. Did he let them in or MIL?

Pinkywoo Tue 26-Feb-19 18:12:05

YADNBU, and can I say how nice it is to read someone actually reacted how I would have done, instead of the usual moaning how awful their in-laws are but never saying anything to them, well done!

And happy anniversary! wine

Disfordarkchocolate Tue 26-Feb-19 18:12:33

I think you were very restrained! Have a nice time with your neighbour. If you move will they follow?

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka Tue 26-Feb-19 18:12:58

Better to explode than to quietly resent forever more.

scrappydappydoo Tue 26-Feb-19 18:15:45

Oh wow! YADNBU. DH has some serious grovelling to do. Please tell me at least one of your ILs has had least attempted some form of apology.

PrincessScarlett Tue 26-Feb-19 18:16:01

Good for you OP! And definitely get that spare key back. This is my worst nightmare as in-laws threatening to move to where we are.

Singlenotsingle Tue 26-Feb-19 18:16:18

Had they come to celebrate the anniversary with you? That all went tits up, didn't it? An no, YANBU. Maybe DH could organise a nice takeaway for the 3 of you?

museumum Tue 26-Feb-19 18:16:43

Your dh is100% responsible here. He let them in. He was hosting.

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit Tue 26-Feb-19 18:20:03

And yet they live?

While the house gets sold, I'd change the locks and not give DH a key. He can ring the bell and you can decide if you want to let him in.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:25:43

So my need for information outweighed having no desire to speak to DH...

They were here when he turned up. BIL helped himself and DH thought it was for the 4 year old so didn't object.

Chocolates were already out and being eaten so he thought they had brought them.

No they didn't come to celebrate anniversary, in-fact they did not even mention it, DH clean forgot and only realised when I stormed up the stairs saying 'Happy f*"*ing anniversary to you too'...I am classy like that ha ha.

MIL has form for treating me like a piece of crap and DH usually puts her in her place.

DH is currently at co-op round the corner replacing the chocolates and stopping off at the chinese on the way home. Still don't like him very much but.....sweet and sour chicken balls...I mean...come on!!

Boobiliboobiliboo Tue 26-Feb-19 18:27:29

Send him to B+Q for new locks and go non contact with his arsehole family.

NataliaOsipova Tue 26-Feb-19 18:29:35

They were here when he turned up.

Get the key back. That’s a gross misuse of a key “for emergencies” even without helping themselves to your food and making the house a shit tip. Don’t get caught out by the “we don’t feel welcome” shite that will invariably come your way either; you can then lay out that they are welcome to come and visit your home as long as they act like respectful guests and not a bunch of entitled teenagers. Eating your dinner and opening new chocolates? FFS.

Isth Tue 26-Feb-19 18:30:12

Oh dear. I’d have done the same to be honest! Sounds like DH knows he needs to make it up to you, but equally sounds like they caught him out a bit too. Enjoy your Chinese!

Ps you have a fabulous way of writing 👌🏻

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:31:06

@WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit ha ha ha...yes I think I will do that smile

Unfortunately as @Disfordarkchocolate if I move they will all eventually follow.

No apology as of yet, other than the DH and I expect I will get a couple of joyful days of making it up to me. I think my shock was so bad because it is unlike DH to let something like this happen, he had only walked in 15 mins before me so was probably still trying to get his head around it himself. Still he forgot our anniversary so I am still angry at him.

LEDadjacent Tue 26-Feb-19 18:31:25

100% change the locks.

toastonbean Tue 26-Feb-19 18:32:29

DEFINITELY change the locks. Don't just get the keys back or MIL will arrive one day with a copy she made "just in case"

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:32:36

@NataliaOsipova key is definitely being retrieved from dragon in law.... we locked ourselves out 2 weeks ago and she was in the bath and really cross at us for having to get out so she could give us the key...eurgh

Weathermonger Tue 26-Feb-19 18:34:30

I would be apoplectic if I came home to that. Definitely boundaries crossed and in a big way. Hopefully your husband is a little more clued in going forward. It sounds like it should be your neighbour and not your MIL who has the spare key. I hope you follow through with getting it back. Happy Anniversary and I hope you enjoy your dinner.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:36:33

You are all cheering me up...have lol'd a few times.

As I said it is lighthearted but it has been getting me down, especially as they know how hard the birth was with my 7 week old and how we have only just got her feeling well again after a serious infection.

Not once have they offered to cook us a meal, look after DD (4) or even help me with the baby, they just come around and expect to be waited on and pretty much destroy my house...

BUT NO MORE...I am taking a stand (ooh I feel all braveheart).

Secretly really chuffed I have finally posted on here. Feel a bit like Olivia Coleman he he he

Drum2018 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:38:27

OMG I think you were very restrained! I'd have fucked them out of it. Boundaries need to be set asap. I actually would change the locks as it wouldn't surprise me if your MIL had cut keys for everyone to have a copy. Do not apologise for giving out to them whatever you do. They are the ultimate CF's and you deserve a huge apology from them for trespassing while you and Dh were out. Dh also needs to grow a pair and realise that them being in your house uninvited is totally unacceptable. Keep them at arms length for a while.

Id be bringing the Chinese to Gladys house and leaving Dh with the kids.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:39:43

@Weathermonger my lovely neighbour has a spare key but spends 4 evenings a week with her husband who is in a home. So rather than disturb her we thought it sensible to have MIL have one.

Gladys has just old me she is cutting me a key, so in future I can let myself in to hers and get our spare key. She really is a fairy godmother. I have no family and she is literally the best.

Redshoeblueshoe Tue 26-Feb-19 18:41:34

Keep Gladys and sack the in laws 🍷

lunabody Tue 26-Feb-19 18:41:43

The fucking nerve of them!!

It's all been said by everyone else - good work @Wantmyflipflops, enjoy the chinese xx

Fluffyears Tue 26-Feb-19 18:41:52

Oh my god, good on you for letting rip!

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:42:07

@toastonbean OMG I never thought of that, she probably gave SIL once as well...yes locks will be changed.

StrongTea Tue 26-Feb-19 18:42:26

She sounds a lovely neighbour. They were totally out of order.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:43:39

Oooh I am feeding baby and just seen my phone on charge in the corner of the room flash, I can make out a whatsapp from MIL...

DUM DUM DUM...What do we reckon...an apology or her being disappointed in me...AGAIN!

PrincessScarlett Tue 26-Feb-19 18:44:28

What dreadful in-laws you have. How dare they let themselves into your house and help themselves to your dinner and chocolates. I think you should also change the locks. And not invite them round again until all of them have apologised to you.

Raspberry10 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:46:20

YANBU! Sell up and move as far away as possible. I found 45 minutes away was the magic number that the In laws stopped coming round at the drop of a hat.

My breaking point was when I came home from work and saw MIL walking down the street with BIL (teen at the time). Suddenly realised he was wearing one of DH’s jumpers. She’d let herself into the house while we were out, rummaged through the drawers to find a jumper for BIL. WTAF! I changed the locks the next day and we moved about 8 months later grin

PurpleWithRed Tue 26-Feb-19 18:46:38

You are my hero! How fantastic to give them all an earful like that rather than being all nicey and nicey and then crying upstairs saying 'nothing' when DH asks what's wrong (like I would).

I am channeling my inner FlipFlop for next time anyone takes the pi$$...

SlinkyDinkyDory Tue 26-Feb-19 18:46:47

Fucking hell, not surprised you exploded. Cheeky cunts helping themselves to your dinner and chocolates.
Why the fuckity fuck did they think it was ok to let themselves in!

Change the locks, I bet they have made a copy.

Leave a spare with Gladys.

This is the sort of shit my inlaws would pull, but we thankfully live in a different country.

purpleleotard Tue 26-Feb-19 18:49:13

If you are worries about locking yourself out of your house again, get one of those small key safes then bolt it discretely to an outside wall.
Just don't tell anyone where it is or the number.

Drum2018 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:49:32

I wouldn't even ask for the key back - change lock and let her make a show of herself trying to get in the next time she dares set foot on your door step.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:49:52

@Raspberry10 Oh I feel your pain, it is not unheard off for BIL to pop over to borrow DH clothes. He even once borrowed some trunks which funny enough DH has not wanted back ha ha

@PurpleWithRed after 12 years I have pretty much lost all respect from them. MIL is an actual nut case and I am sure when I get around to reading her text it will be about something inane and this would have never happened in her eyes ha ha

VictoriaBun Tue 26-Feb-19 18:50:40

Just as a bit of a side line. To anyone who gives a key to a family member / neighbour as a just in case situation . Get yourselves a false stone/rock ! They have an empty cavity inside and you can put a key and hide it somewhere in your garden out of the way, under bushes,semi buried, in the back garden etc. That way you control who comes into your house.

IHeartKingThistle Tue 26-Feb-19 18:50:45

I would be STEAMING OP, well done.

SlinkyDinkyDory Tue 26-Feb-19 18:50:51

Oh yes, do what Drum2018 says. Bollocks to her, cheeky witch.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:51:15

@SlinkyDinkyDory a different country...you lucky thing smile

MIL lives opposite my 4 year olds nursery, texted me last week to tell me that I looked tired when I dropped her off...WTAF

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:52:05

@Drum2018 She is bat shit crazy, would scale the wall and get in the bathroom window lol

PickAChew Tue 26-Feb-19 18:52:21

Who on their right mind wouldn't have exploded? Nothing to be ashamed of there, on your part.

Your DH can change the locks, then you get to keep on cuddling your babies.

ConfusedAngryWorried Tue 26-Feb-19 18:53:29

Seriously overstepping boundaries. You were restrained especially 7wks after giving birth!!

I would suggest whatever the text from MIL says do not reply or engage until tomorrow at the earliest.

WhatchaMaCalllit Tue 26-Feb-19 18:53:36

First off - Happy Anniversary winewine
Next - congratulations on your 7 wk old!
Next - congratulations on letting your in-laws know how their behaviour was completely unacceptable and your DH ... well how on earth could he have forgotten your anniversary??

I do hope your dinner (the one your DH is organising rather than the one you BiL decided was for his consumption) is well tasty!

Can't wait to see what your MiL has sent... watching with interest.

GreenTulips Tue 26-Feb-19 18:53:46

I’m so glad you let rip!

CFs indeed

I hope you are proud of yourself

PrincessScarlett Tue 26-Feb-19 18:54:10

Next time she texts you to tell you you look tired, text back and tell her she looks old or ill!

SlinkyDinkyDory Tue 26-Feb-19 18:54:34

I know. Honestly it's the only way I cope with them. I've been very clear to DH that if his mother ever wants to move here to us then I am divorcing him and taking the kids and moving to another country.

Pumpkintopf Tue 26-Feb-19 18:55:55

Well done op for being honest about how this made you feel! Really unacceptable of them to treat you and your home this way.

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 18:56:56

Yanbu at all, move to a different town and meet only on neutral ground. They helped themselves to your dinner out of the slow cooker wtaf...?

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 18:57:44

But c'mon what was mils text about?

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:58:33

And the text says...

Soz about chocs..thought you were on a diet so was helping you out.

My response...

Chocolates were not for me, they were a gift. Don't ever help yourself to things in my house EVER again.

Right my new friends - that's how it works right, if you respond to my post you are my best friend (said with a creepy look and a twitch in my eye)...he he

I am off to scoff my chicken balls and allow DH to rub my feet.

You have all made a shit night better xx

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 18:59:48

She thought you were on a diet cheeky fucking passive aggressive bitch shock

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 18:59:55

@PrincessScarlett he he...I am just going to randomly do that anyway. She is a lunatic.

Isth Tue 26-Feb-19 19:00:54

What the fuck? What a feeble non-apology that was 🤦🏼‍♀️

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:01:39

@Teateaandmoretea she is a passive aggressive bitch...thankfully my DH likes a bit of junk in the trunk so no diet for me he he

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 19:02:29

It just reminded me of the ooooooh you look like you've lost weight I got every time I saw my mil post baby angry

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:03:08

@Isth I am still waiting for the apology from my wedding when she stopped the ceremony because she wanted the air-con turned on as the room was too hot.

That was over a decade ago smile

Drum2018 Tue 26-Feb-19 19:03:39

Wow, she is some cunt. How dare she say about you dieting and you only 7 weeks post partum. angry

ohfourfoxache Tue 26-Feb-19 19:04:41

The lot of them sound like nasty fucking arsewipes shock

Don’t tell them you’ve changed the locks, they’ll only demand a key

Naughtysausage Tue 26-Feb-19 19:05:20

That's such a shit apology!

Well done op. Very impressed with your work. star

Poloshot Tue 26-Feb-19 19:06:31

What a nightmare. I'd be keeping my distance for a good while.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:06:37

@Teateaandmoretea @Drum2018

MIL is obsessed with my weight. I am a size 18, put on 8lb this pregnancy and am back in my size 18s, but she is constantly telling me not to worry as I can stop wearing maternity clothes soon.

I just visualize punching her in the face and a stadium of people clapping!!

brassbrass Tue 26-Feb-19 19:07:54

Next time she texts you to tell you you look tired, text back and tell her she looks old or ill!

grinmine used to say the same when I was all glammed up to go out and they were babysitting. FIL would say something complimentary and in the next beat MIL would say I looked tired or whatever. I soon cottoned on as it happened every. single. time and so I would cheerily ask her how her health was as she looked ashen or similar which would result in a very satisfactory cat's bum face grin

PrincessScarlett Tue 26-Feb-19 19:08:02

That is NOT an apology from MIL. What about sorry for letting themselves in, trashing your house and eating your anniversary meal?

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:08:24

I am taking a bow for all of the praise for my reaction. I just hope it doesn't go to my head and I actually punch them next time...

The 12 year old particularly gets on my nerves (I would never punch a child) but she really is vile. She told my DD 4 that Santa was not real. I seriously wanted to hurt her.

Fromage Tue 26-Feb-19 19:08:28

"...thought you were on a diet..."

CUSTARD PIE THE BITCH

omg

I mean, you have a 7 week old baby, and you've both been through the mill. No matter what size you are, now is not the time to diet.

that's the first rule of woman code, surely
'NEVER insinuate another woman is, and by implication, should be on a diet'

Enjoy your chicken balls and foot rub.

Actually, fuck the custard pie. Make it a plate of tripe.

VelociraptorRex Tue 26-Feb-19 19:08:50

Wow OP, I'd be digging a big hole under my patio with her name on it! What a CF! Well done you on letting rip, nicely done! And congratulations on the baby and your anniversary smile

VelociraptorRex Tue 26-Feb-19 19:09:24

@Fromage I like your style grin

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:09:28

@Fromage she is not a woman she is a dragon...there is no code for a self obsessed evil old witch!!

Smiling to myself way too much at that ha ha ha

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:10:48

@VelociraptorRex ha ha I have a running joke with DH about our patio and the MIL. He reckons I would need help and I remind him about Gladys...she has promised she would help me with the body!

WhatchaMaCalllit Tue 26-Feb-19 19:11:11

Unreal!

Not an apology. She's some piece of work.

Enjoy your dinner (and your foot rub)

Fromage Tue 26-Feb-19 19:13:41

And next time she says you look tired, do a head tilt and in the most patronising talking-to-a-child tone you can do, say "Aww, love. Did you think you saw me through the window? That wasn't a window, was it? It was a mirror."

She sounds vile.

tbh I would seriously think of moving. A friend of mine went as far as putting her house on the market when her own mother was about to put an offer in on a house round the corner. shock Fortunately her mother backed down and moved an entire mile away. Still not far enough but better than having her mother within custard pie flinging distance.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:13:44

Very apologetic email from SIL who is mortified her DH ate our anniversary meal. She also apologized about the play room and said it won't happen again.

I finally got 1 apology for the family, I responded that in future they need to be supervised if they are in there and the 12 and 10 year old are too big to be playing in there. She has agreed.

RedHatsDoNotSuitMe Tue 26-Feb-19 19:14:18

I wish I lived next door to Gladys

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:15:30

@Fromage brilliant.

My mum passed a long time ago and I loved her dearly but we would never in a million years want to live that close to each other ha ha.

Thewheelsarefallingoff Tue 26-Feb-19 19:15:47

Wow! I wish was more like you, op. Well done, you were great. grinwine

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 19:16:21

MIL is obsessed with my weight. I am a size 18, put on 8lb this pregnancy and am back in my size 18s, but she is constantly telling me not to worry as I can stop wearing maternity clothes soon.

I am 5'10 and a 10/12 but pregnancy totally changed my metabolism and I was a 'massive' 14 for 12 months or so after both.

No one else commented or even noticed tbh but it was lovely having my additional weight pointed out every time I saw her hmm😂😂

IggyAce Tue 26-Feb-19 19:16:31

Well done OP you rock and hopefully they will never cross your door step again.
I have a 12 year dd and she would never ever ruin the Christmas magic for anyone else, so she does sound awful and a CF in waiting.

PussGirl Tue 26-Feb-19 19:17:05

MIL sounds like a prize bitch & as for BIL/DH thinking eating the food was okay because it was for your 4yo - what a cheek.

Gladys sounds like a gem. Move house & find somewhere with a granny annex for Gladys.

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace Tue 26-Feb-19 19:17:05

I have honestly read your post (and each post after) with an open mouth! Also read it DH and he is disgusted. Well done for standing up for yourself flowers

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 19:17:17

At least SIL has got the message. Maybe she's read the thread?

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:17:21

@RedHatsDoNotSuitMe I am not overly religious but I think it was divine intervention. I lost my mum, dad, grandad and sister in the space of 3 years and she literally saved my life.

She heard me crying in the house about 3 months after we moved in and knocked on the door with a victoria sponge and a bottle of wine. She is quite literally my mum.

PussGirl Tue 26-Feb-19 19:19:04

SIL sounds like she has potential to be okay.

ChasedByBees Tue 26-Feb-19 19:20:08

Wow you were restrained.

You are 7 week post partum and they’re helping yourself to your dinner and giving you more work by leaving tidying for you?

I would have wanted to drop kick them out one by one.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:20:34

@SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace thanks, it really is disgusting, I just can't bring myself to care that much about them lol.

I do feel like a warrior though...DH keeps asking me what I am doing but I keep telling him to shut up and rub my feet he he.

@Teateaandmoretea she is on here so maybe...I think she may have posted about MIL before and got a lot of sympathy

Samind Tue 26-Feb-19 19:20:44

I was laughing at the storming upstairs 😂 I used to do that and then slam the bedroom door but now we live in one level house so the feet stamping upstairs has been taken from me 😪😪😂Maybe you should offer her your chicken balls too and let her "help" some more 😂😂 your post has made me smile. Good for you, I'm glad your lo's well again and happy anniversary!

CharlotteUnaNatalieThompson Tue 26-Feb-19 19:21:00

She heard me crying in the house about 3 months after we moved in and knocked on the door with a victoria sponge and a bottle of wine. She is quite literally my mum

That brought a tear to my eye. What a star Gladys is.

And YANBU. So so not unreasonable. At least SIL realises the mark was not only overstepped but spat on and stamped into the ground.

MakeItAmazing Tue 26-Feb-19 19:21:03

OP, I ❤️ you and Gladys.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:21:49

@ChasedByBees MIL is not a carer, in fact I am surprised that her boys even know how to cuddle and show love. If she offered to help me in anyway I would call the police and tell them she had been abducted.

Mmmhmmm Tue 26-Feb-19 19:21:50

"Wantmyflipflops

And the text says...

Soz about chocs..thought you were on a diet so was helping you out. ?"

So she insulted you while "apologising"...Bitch. 😐

ChasedByBees Tue 26-Feb-19 19:22:17

I’m glad your SIL apologised. Did you tell them all it was your anniversary meal? I would have thought that BIL should have been mortified too.

Wantmyflipflops Tue 26-Feb-19 19:23:29

@Samind I feel slightly bad about the fact DD 4 asked DH what a fucking anniversary was...oops. I will need to have a conversation with her in the morning. But at least I got her to 4 before she learned a bad word lol

Cherrysoup Tue 26-Feb-19 19:23:35

So they let themselves in? All of them, knowing you were out? I’d go fucking nuts at that. And what the fuck was your bil thinking, living nearby as he does, there was no need to eat your food. What a wanker! What prompted sil to text? Has mil been on to her about nasty Wantmyflipflops?! Hopefully they’ll realise you mean business and will never take the piss again. <is hopeful>

I’m appalled at the whole thing.

Teateaandmoretea Tue 26-Feb-19 19:23:41

Gladys really does sound fab. So sorry about your loss flowers

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