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To be annoyed by everyone telling me?

(62 Posts)
WooWooCocktail Tue 26-Feb-19 15:00:55

So I’ve applied for my dream job. It’s a 999 call handler. I’ve been unsuccessful in the past and have waited a long time for another opening. But every time I tell anyone what my career goal is they all say ‘oh that’s difficult, you hear some really horrible things’

AIBU to not want to be a patronised about this? Do people honestly think I don’t know what I’m applying for when it’s a job that will require 12 shifts on days like Christmas and think I don’t expect unpleasant calls on the other end of a line for life threatening situations.

Just a rant but god it’s annoying

icanthelpyou Tue 26-Feb-19 15:02:18

I’d love that job but I’m so rubbish at understanding people on the phone confused Congrats! People have got opinions about everything, ignore them!

Duchessgummybuns Tue 26-Feb-19 15:03:19

I’m sure people don’t mean anything by it, they’re probably just conscious it’s not a job they could do themselves. Congrats on the job!

whasoaw1 Tue 26-Feb-19 15:08:50

Some people like to deny the fact that there are horrible things going on. They think fairies deal with the horrific daily events in the world. I think it sounds very exciting OP. Congratulations! Are you sure they're being patronising though? They may just be mentioning the obvious in order to carry on the conversation? I find it is easy to just say "oh that sounds great. You're good under pressure too, so it suits you down to the ground" though so I have little tolerance for those kind of comments too. I have interest in becoming a funeral home worker. I get similar comments like "oh but you'll be working with dead bodies!" Or "that's morbid". I'm aware though that in our culture we are sheltered from death. I still find it rude though.

FairyMoppings Tue 26-Feb-19 15:11:16

I think you're overreacting and sound a little too sensitive and easily irritated.

They just concerned and not intending to upset you.

Just say "Yes I'm perfectly aware of what it entails but it's what I want to do"

SoupDragon Tue 26-Feb-19 15:11:18

They aren't patronising you, it's just a comment.

Stargazer888 Tue 26-Feb-19 15:13:51

You sounds quite sensitive. They are just commenting.

Larrythelamb84 Tue 26-Feb-19 15:13:51

It's a brilliant job, but be aware of the unpaid training prior to starting. When I was there it was something like 3 weeks but may have changed. And Christmas Day was a very enlightening day to work I can tell you! Good luck!

Henrysmycat Tue 26-Feb-19 15:19:32

Jeez! You must be super fun. Does asking about the weather feels patronising too?
It’s a comment. It’s a conversation starter.
Everything is a taboo to talk nowadays; money, religion, children or not, partners or not, meat eating or not, a comment about your job which is fair and doubtful of questioning your abilities.
I worked on a oil rig in the Arctic for months. People saying how hard it is was not about my ability to live in such an environment but that it was genuine hard and prison-like.

LightDrizzle Tue 26-Feb-19 15:21:20

I think these things fall out of our mouths when we feel we want to show interest but don’t know much about something. It’s phatic communication that goes a bit awry as we don’t really think it through.
Those examples are obvious things to say about that job, I don’t think it means they think you are too dense to realise it yourself.
It’s like new mums getting pissed off with the “Oh he’s so tiny!”/ “Are you getting any sleep?”/ “How much did she weigh?” stuff, - and even thinking it’s a potential criticism (too small/ poor sleeper/ you look knackered/ it’s a lump/ underweight). When for most of us it’s just the usual stuff people ask or say because babies don’t do much.
They are just making conversation. I know it’s annoying with repetition.

Pishogue Tue 26-Feb-19 15:25:46

I can understand your annoyance -- it's not so much that it's annoying once than that it gets annoying when twenty people say exactly the same thing, and then look at you as if they have just said something brilliant and original that no one has ever said before.

When in fact it's the equivalent of saying 'What's the weather up there like?' or 'I bet a basketball team would love you!' to a tall person, as though they might not have noticed they were tall.

Toooldtocareanymore Tue 26-Feb-19 15:28:16

I don't get why you think this is patronising, what comment do you expect back? seems they are acknowledging its a tough job and showing some empathy, that what you want to do is difficult. patronising is when they say oh typical sitting on but answering phone job, why don't you get a real job helping people. 1 of my SILs when she says she's a teacher and the reply is I couldn't deal with 30 6 years olds at a time, thinks that's nice, when they say oh a cushy number id like that nothing but summers off and long holidays -now that's patronising and she tells them go train and get a job.

The best line I ever heard was a air traffic controller I was doing an adult hobby class with, was asked what he did when he said the teacher replied with oh not creative then, he replied with no but we score second highest career option that is likely to commit suicide and highest rated to commit murder.

MmaMakutsi Tue 26-Feb-19 15:28:48

If this is going to annoy you so much and make you feel all patronised and offended are you sure 999 call handler is actually the job for you?

MrsJayy Tue 26-Feb-19 15:33:22

They are not lying though it sounds a really hard job I don't think they are patronising you just commenting on how hard it sounds. I have a PC6 in my family they have a hard job and i have commented it is a natural response. Anyway good luck with your application

MustBeAWeasly Tue 26-Feb-19 15:34:10

Totally outing but that's what I do! It's a brilliant job and you do hear some horrible things but not nearly as many as you think. People are very dramatic they think every call is horrific like something out of a film. I just smile nod and say 'ooh its really not as bad as you think we mostly just go to drunks and falls hahaha'

I get it though its like everytime someone says that it's like they're saying 'you don't know what you're getting into you won't be able to handle it'

f83mx Tue 26-Feb-19 15:34:21

Eh? People are just trying to make conversation about it, jeez.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Tue 26-Feb-19 15:36:02

Aren’t they saying this to indicate that they’re impressed with you doing something they feel they couldn’t?

MrsJayy Tue 26-Feb-19 15:38:04

Aren’t they saying this to indicate that they’re impressed with you doing something they feel they couldn’t?

^^ is how I would mean it.

twooutofthreeaintbad Tue 26-Feb-19 15:40:57

Well done you @WooWooCocktail 👏🏻
My husband is a call handler and I think it's just par for the course for someone to say those comments,
It sounds like an incredibly rewarding job and something i think would interest me (perhaps because I'm nosy and always got my head through the blinds if there's a police car outside) but I'd find a lot of the calls very difficult and perhaps too difficult. I'm one of these that cries at the donkey sanctuary adverts. I don't think people mean harm but saying such things but I do think you have to wear a heart guard to do it.
All the very best to you, I hope all works out

AryaStarkWolf Tue 26-Feb-19 15:48:35

Why is it patronising, I assume people just mean they would find it too difficult, that's kind of the opposite of patronising, isn't it?

JudgeRindersMinder Tue 26-Feb-19 15:51:05

If you’re annoyed by’s a great job, and being brutally honest you do get a bit desensitised to the less pleasant calls, and develop a very black sense of humour.

Other than that everyone in the job is perfectly normal <twitch>

MadAboutWands Tue 26-Feb-19 15:53:51

I suspect the issue isn’t ONE person making that sort of comments but EVERY SINGLE ONE.
And yes when it’s one person after the other, it gets annoying and patronising. Just like it wouod be for any other subject actually.

Maybe the best way to look at it is to think that those people have very little imagination. Both to not be able to understand how you could be looking forward to do that job. And to be unable to come out w Th any other question/comment.

Cside Tue 26-Feb-19 15:54:29

Isn't it simply a statement? It will be hard and you will hear horrible things...

JuniperGins Tue 26-Feb-19 15:55:44

Well... in the same vein you’re going to have much worse directed at you if you get the job!

Myheartbelongsto Tue 26-Feb-19 15:57:59

Well, they're right aren't they.

You are going to have to deal with choking babies, heart attacks, suicides etc.

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