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To not understand why they think I’ve got depression

(100 Posts)
User50000 Tue 26-Feb-19 13:50:30

I’ve recently gone on sick leave. I used the idiom “I’ve hit a bit of wall” to describe why I was off. Without going into detail. A colleague has now messaged me saying she has also had depression and is here if I want to talk. I’m unsure why the phrase I used lead them to believe I was depressed? It wouldn’t be my first thought if someone had said this to me.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 26-Feb-19 13:51:45

What did you mean by it?

Sorry you’re having a hard time. I think your colleague has been very kind and supportive.

Fairylea Tue 26-Feb-19 13:52:08

Well most people would take that to mean stress / depression / anxiety I think. It’s very vague, and implies it’s not something physical.

I think your colleague was just being kind.

NorthEndGal Tue 26-Feb-19 13:52:31

If you are going to use euphemisms, people may get the wrong idea.

WonkoTheSane42 Tue 26-Feb-19 13:52:39

Unless you literally hit a wall and are in traction, the phrase you’ve used is quite evocative of depression/stress/a breakdown.

Sirzy Tue 26-Feb-19 13:53:13

Your colleague is trying to be supportive.

To “hit the wall” hard enough to be signed off work then presumably your GP also thinks there is something depression type going on?

Tomtontom Tue 26-Feb-19 13:54:01

Why are you off?

Your description would suggest a mental health condition.

SaucyJack Tue 26-Feb-19 13:56:57

Well yes, unless you’ve had a car crash into a literal wall- it sounds as though you’re not coping with life. Depression would be the obvious assumption.

Why does it matter?

Katebob22 Tue 26-Feb-19 14:02:40

I’d assume the same from that description.

RhymingRabbit Tue 26-Feb-19 14:02:46

I would have thought you were saying depression/ anxiety too. Your friend sounds lovely.

SubparOwl Tue 26-Feb-19 14:06:28

I'd have assumed the same in your friend's shoes. She sounds very supportive.

Thingsthatgo Tue 26-Feb-19 14:07:15

I would assume that you weren’t coping, and so you had taken time off to sort out your mental health.

Omzlas Tue 26-Feb-19 14:09:29

I'd assume the same thing, unless you've literally hit a wall

Your colleague is reaching out to you

If you don't want to be misconstrued, don't be vague or use euphemisms. I think you're reading you much into it OP. I'd read 'hit a wall' to be stress / anxiety / depression / exhaustion and I'm not sure what else it could mean to be honest

sonjadog Tue 26-Feb-19 14:10:07

I would assume someone who said that was depressed too.

Travis1 Tue 26-Feb-19 14:12:46

I’d assume depression too. What do you think it means? Especially in terms of having to take time off work

Purpleartichoke Tue 26-Feb-19 14:13:08

Yes, that phrasing implies a mental health issue.

Namechangeforthiscancershit Tue 26-Feb-19 14:13:20

What could it mean other than that your mental health wasn’t great?

I guess maybe I’d think stress over depression if I had to pick one based on that description, but it’s marginal.

OutwiththeOutCrowd Tue 26-Feb-19 14:14:32

I would have thought you were suffering from burnout due to unresolvable difficulties at work. It would be a moot point for me whether this would go under the more general term of 'depression'.

Did you not like the use of the word and feel she was missing the mark?

overtheirishsea Tue 26-Feb-19 14:14:37

Because you made it sound like you have depression.

PurpleFlower1983 Tue 26-Feb-19 14:14:44

I would also assume a mental health condition xx

DontCallMeCharlotte Tue 26-Feb-19 14:17:06

It wouldn’t be my first thought if someone had said this to me.

So what would be your first thought if someone said that to you? Depression would certainly have been my first thought.

MarinetteDupainCheng Tue 26-Feb-19 14:17:24

I would also think you meant mental health difficulties, be it stress or depression. If it’s not that and, as previous posters have said you didn’t literally crash into a wall, I’m intrigued as to what you meant?

averystrangeweek Tue 26-Feb-19 14:18:37

Your colleague is being kind, thoughtful and supportive. They are obviously showing genuine concern for you, so take them up on it.

SassitudeandSparkle Tue 26-Feb-19 14:19:53

What did you want to say then, OP? Not coping is a sign of depression, your colleague seems lovely to contact you and tell you that about herself.

OutwiththeOutCrowd Tue 26-Feb-19 14:21:11

Meant to add that I hope you feel better soon flowers.

I can sort of see that, if you are reacting in a normal human way to an abnormal amount of stress, it might feel frustrating to be called 'depressed' as if your response to intolerable conditions is somehow aberrant rather than understandable.

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