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Leaving kids at 5am alone

(50 Posts)
R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 08:44:22

Guys my sister is running in a group at 5am. Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11. They are left alone for an hour.
In the past she had issues with a different ex regarding stalking which he was convicted in court.
Do you think this is ok at this time or no?

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:04:42

@ingesw you are laying it on a bit thick. Her ex has the children three nights a week and every other weekend. He also does the school run twice a week. She has plenty of time to get her hair done etc. It wasn’t about that.

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:02:44

Just to address some of the comments. I am a lone parent too and don’t have a father in the picture so it wasn’t a lack of empathy.

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:01:02

Thanks everyone. Yes the main concern was the ex as the group posts on Facebook with a picture of their runs and his stalking was mainly waiting at the children’s school to see her so my concern was the pattern and being at her house. I can’t come out at that time due to my children. He has not been a recent issue though and I haven’t expressed any concern to her. Perhaps I’m overly worrying. The children are independent enough there is no concerns from that point of view. I mentioned the other opportunities to exercise to highlight the choice/ she does also exercise during those times too so being out each morning and tagging on Facebook I was worried about the pattern mostly. My thoughts were asleep = vulnerable but I feel more at ease now with the comments.

WoahThereMama Tue 26-Feb-19 10:00:48

You seem to not want it to be fine OP. What exactly is the problem?

Yabbers Tue 26-Feb-19 09:59:09

At that age we were left at 7am to get up and off to school.

Stop judging, you do you.

sailorsdelight Tue 26-Feb-19 09:58:57

They can ring her if something is up can’t they? Not that it would be atbthat time in the morning ...

sailorsdelight Tue 26-Feb-19 09:58:16

Sounds okay to me! Good for her for getting up and being motivated at that time in the morning.

Ingesw Tue 26-Feb-19 09:57:13

Good idea, I shouldn’t even think they wake before she gets back. That way she gets to do other stuff when she doesn’t have her kids.

Being a LP is a tough gig, I think it sounds like she’s got it organised well.

*other stuff being the things you take for granted that you can do while your DH just watches them for an hour or so like getting your hair done, having coffee with freinds or having a night out.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin Tue 26-Feb-19 09:56:30

Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week.

This sounds like you are judging her.

I don’t see the problem with going out for a run at that time as long as the kids know she has done so. Presumably she has her phone on her arm or similar so can be contacted in an emergency.

sleepylittlebunnies Tue 26-Feb-19 09:53:52

Ordinarily I think it’s fine as long as the kids know when they go to bed that she will be out if they get up at that time., or if she leaves them a note.

Do they have mobiles and can contact her, you or a neighbour if she doesn’t return?

Is the stalker ex still a threat? I can understand your concern as he could use the kids to get at your sister. My friend’s stalker ex while on a restraining order trespassed into her garden and took her dog, she never saw it again.

userschmoozer Tue 26-Feb-19 09:49:44

YABVU.
Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11.

No, thats not how running groups work. They don't pop out of thin air at your convenience.
Women who run are told by the police to run in groups for safety and thats without the additional risk of a stalker ex.

Orchidflower1 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:48:25

Are you worried about your sister or the chn regarding the stalker? Have you expressed your disapproval to her- if so what did she say?!

SherlockSays Tue 26-Feb-19 09:45:06

My mum left us at 5 every weekday to go to work - I was year 9 and my youngest brother year 6, we were fine.

enjoyingscience Tue 26-Feb-19 09:44:54

At 11 and 12 I would expect that most kids are coming home from school on their own. An hour when they are asleep is fine.

Shinyletsbebadguys Tue 26-Feb-19 09:43:07

Hand her her backside not Jane her backside , the mind boggles to the interpretation of that

Shinyletsbebadguys Tue 26-Feb-19 09:42:26

I think if the DC are sensible and ok with it it's fine

I also think if I ever caught my Dsis making a post like yours I would Jane her backside to her (verbally just to be clear ) and she would be told in no uncertain terms to butt out

chocatoo Tue 26-Feb-19 09:41:04

I think its fine too.

BGD2012 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:40:52

My son is 11 I leave him alone for an hour or two once a week.

kaytee87 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:39:48

It's fine, they'll be sleeping and presumably she's back in time to get them up for school.

Waiting for massive drip feed.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Tue 26-Feb-19 09:37:04

It’s absolutely fine...

Toooldtocareanymore Tue 26-Feb-19 09:32:45

yes absolutely fine.

Seeline Tue 26-Feb-19 09:30:31

OP says his sister is running with a group, so I wouldn't thought possible stalker to be an issue there.
Most 11/12 yos would still be asleep at that time, but even if awake, as long as they know not to open the door, than again - no issue.

AllStar14 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:29:00

YABU. They are old enough to be left for an hour, and they'll be asleep. Can't see the problem at all! I actually can't wait until mine are old enough for me to do the same.

Margot33 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:27:51

I think that's okay.

CallMeSirShotsFired Tue 26-Feb-19 09:17:29

Christ alive, the poor woman has had a pretty shitty time of it with the stalking (and having to bring up children single handedly?); and you begrudge her 1hr a week of a exercise via a (probably gloriously quiet and beautiful) dawn run with like minded people while her kids are fast asleep?

Now she has you bitching at/about her to deal with as well hmm

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