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Leaving kids at 5am alone

(50 Posts)
R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 08:44:22

Guys my sister is running in a group at 5am. Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11. They are left alone for an hour.
In the past she had issues with a different ex regarding stalking which he was convicted in court.
Do you think this is ok at this time or no?

HoneysuckIejasmine Tue 26-Feb-19 08:45:45

Depends on the kids, doesn't it. Sensible, mature, and at that time most definitely asleep? Meh.

CandyPuff Tue 26-Feb-19 08:46:09

I think that's fine at that age

Seeline Tue 26-Feb-19 08:46:16

I think it's fine as long as the kids know she is going, so don't wake up worried about where she is.
Presumably she is back in time to get them up and ready for school. Seems like an ideal time actually!

bridgetreilly Tue 26-Feb-19 08:47:01

I can't see the problem.

Basecamp65 Tue 26-Feb-19 08:47:09

Yes I think it is fine - depending on the kids.

bridgetreilly Tue 26-Feb-19 08:47:27

Also, I don't see what's relevant about the stalker-ex?

TheHodgeoftheHedge Tue 26-Feb-19 08:48:11

At that age I don’t think there’s a problem as long as they know and can get hold of her if need be.

Luckingfovely Tue 26-Feb-19 08:50:48

It's fine.

katykins85 Tue 26-Feb-19 08:51:43

Its absolutely fine confused

ErictheGuineaPig Tue 26-Feb-19 08:53:13

Sounds fine as long as they are happy to be left. In fact I have debated doing the same myself but I don't think my eldest would like it as its still dark then.

Tvci5 Tue 26-Feb-19 08:54:31

If the 12 yr old is getting himself to high school and back I would’ve thought it was fine.

arethereanyleftatall Tue 26-Feb-19 08:54:33

That's fine. They're presumably asleep then?

expatinspain Tue 26-Feb-19 08:55:56

At that age kids are going to school alone, some have keys to come home alone for a few hours before their parents get in from work. They also could be spending portions of the holidays alone as I don't hear of kids going to childminders at that age. It's fine.

Passing4Human Tue 26-Feb-19 09:02:09

What is the relevance of the ex and the stalking thing?

Birdsgottafly Tue 26-Feb-19 09:06:36

Are you happy to be a point of contact for the children, if she isn't back at a certain time?

That's the only issue, with the stalker ex, that someone would know to report if she went 'missing' etc.

Springwalk Tue 26-Feb-19 09:07:55

If he is still stalking obv that may be a problem otherwise totally fine re ages.

Springwalk Tue 26-Feb-19 09:09:36

The stalker problem is an issue if he targets her kids or something happens to her whilst she is out, and they are at home unsure what to do. I don’t think either of these scenarios are likely to happen.

BadBear Tue 26-Feb-19 09:10:03

Can't see an issue with it. That's a great age to start teaching them how to be more independent so an hour alone at 5am won't hurt them.

GahWhatever Tue 26-Feb-19 09:10:24

Leaving an 11 and 12 year old alone for an hour is fine.

Pinkbells Tue 26-Feb-19 09:10:57

With a stalker, no. With the ages and the timing if there were no problems otherwise then I would if I took mobile phone with me and was then back in plenty of time to give them breakfast and a bit of quality time before school.

frenchonion Tue 26-Feb-19 09:11:48

Totally fine.

gamerchick Tue 26-Feb-19 09:12:12

It's fine at that age.

You could always offer yourself to pop over and sit by yourself for an hour if it bothers you.

Dvg Tue 26-Feb-19 09:12:50

Yeah 12 and 11 is fine, kids that age walk to school alone or go to the park alone etc so why not stay at home alone for an hour which is even safer?

legolimb Tue 26-Feb-19 09:15:53

Of course it's fine.

If an 11 and 12 yo can't be left for one hour then there is a problem.

CallMeSirShotsFired Tue 26-Feb-19 09:17:29

Christ alive, the poor woman has had a pretty shitty time of it with the stalking (and having to bring up children single handedly?); and you begrudge her 1hr a week of a exercise via a (probably gloriously quiet and beautiful) dawn run with like minded people while her kids are fast asleep?

Now she has you bitching at/about her to deal with as well hmm

Margot33 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:27:51

I think that's okay.

AllStar14 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:29:00

YABU. They are old enough to be left for an hour, and they'll be asleep. Can't see the problem at all! I actually can't wait until mine are old enough for me to do the same.

Seeline Tue 26-Feb-19 09:30:31

OP says his sister is running with a group, so I wouldn't thought possible stalker to be an issue there.
Most 11/12 yos would still be asleep at that time, but even if awake, as long as they know not to open the door, than again - no issue.

Toooldtocareanymore Tue 26-Feb-19 09:32:45

yes absolutely fine.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse Tue 26-Feb-19 09:37:04

It’s absolutely fine...

kaytee87 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:39:48

It's fine, they'll be sleeping and presumably she's back in time to get them up for school.

Waiting for massive drip feed.

BGD2012 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:40:52

My son is 11 I leave him alone for an hour or two once a week.

chocatoo Tue 26-Feb-19 09:41:04

I think its fine too.

Shinyletsbebadguys Tue 26-Feb-19 09:42:26

I think if the DC are sensible and ok with it it's fine

I also think if I ever caught my Dsis making a post like yours I would Jane her backside to her (verbally just to be clear ) and she would be told in no uncertain terms to butt out

Shinyletsbebadguys Tue 26-Feb-19 09:43:07

Hand her her backside not Jane her backside , the mind boggles to the interpretation of that

enjoyingscience Tue 26-Feb-19 09:44:54

At 11 and 12 I would expect that most kids are coming home from school on their own. An hour when they are asleep is fine.

SherlockSays Tue 26-Feb-19 09:45:06

My mum left us at 5 every weekday to go to work - I was year 9 and my youngest brother year 6, we were fine.

Orchidflower1 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:48:25

Are you worried about your sister or the chn regarding the stalker? Have you expressed your disapproval to her- if so what did she say?!

userschmoozer Tue 26-Feb-19 09:49:44

YABVU.
Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week. Kids are 12 and 11.

No, thats not how running groups work. They don't pop out of thin air at your convenience.
Women who run are told by the police to run in groups for safety and thats without the additional risk of a stalker ex.

sleepylittlebunnies Tue 26-Feb-19 09:53:52

Ordinarily I think it’s fine as long as the kids know when they go to bed that she will be out if they get up at that time., or if she leaves them a note.

Do they have mobiles and can contact her, you or a neighbour if she doesn’t return?

Is the stalker ex still a threat? I can understand your concern as he could use the kids to get at your sister. My friend’s stalker ex while on a restraining order trespassed into her garden and took her dog, she never saw it again.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin Tue 26-Feb-19 09:56:30

Has many other opportunities to exercise as ex has kids three times a week.

This sounds like you are judging her.

I don’t see the problem with going out for a run at that time as long as the kids know she has done so. Presumably she has her phone on her arm or similar so can be contacted in an emergency.

Ingesw Tue 26-Feb-19 09:57:13

Good idea, I shouldn’t even think they wake before she gets back. That way she gets to do other stuff when she doesn’t have her kids.

Being a LP is a tough gig, I think it sounds like she’s got it organised well.

*other stuff being the things you take for granted that you can do while your DH just watches them for an hour or so like getting your hair done, having coffee with freinds or having a night out.

sailorsdelight Tue 26-Feb-19 09:58:16

Sounds okay to me! Good for her for getting up and being motivated at that time in the morning.

sailorsdelight Tue 26-Feb-19 09:58:57

They can ring her if something is up can’t they? Not that it would be atbthat time in the morning ...

Yabbers Tue 26-Feb-19 09:59:09

At that age we were left at 7am to get up and off to school.

Stop judging, you do you.

WoahThereMama Tue 26-Feb-19 10:00:48

You seem to not want it to be fine OP. What exactly is the problem?

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:01:02

Thanks everyone. Yes the main concern was the ex as the group posts on Facebook with a picture of their runs and his stalking was mainly waiting at the children’s school to see her so my concern was the pattern and being at her house. I can’t come out at that time due to my children. He has not been a recent issue though and I haven’t expressed any concern to her. Perhaps I’m overly worrying. The children are independent enough there is no concerns from that point of view. I mentioned the other opportunities to exercise to highlight the choice/ she does also exercise during those times too so being out each morning and tagging on Facebook I was worried about the pattern mostly. My thoughts were asleep = vulnerable but I feel more at ease now with the comments.

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:02:44

Just to address some of the comments. I am a lone parent too and don’t have a father in the picture so it wasn’t a lack of empathy.

R2G Tue 26-Feb-19 10:04:42

@ingesw you are laying it on a bit thick. Her ex has the children three nights a week and every other weekend. He also does the school run twice a week. She has plenty of time to get her hair done etc. It wasn’t about that.

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