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To be excited by something so sad

(88 Posts)
Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:38:19

I will start with some background. I grew up in a skint household with an alcoholic parent who drank all our money. I had very few clothes, none of the right clothes, no money to go swimming or to the cinema etc and found it hard to fit in.

When I finally got a job and access to credit I thought ‘this is amazing!’ I could buy what a wanted and go where I wanted. This spiralled and I ended up £10k in debt eventually. I was naive and a bit ignorant about how credit worked. I then met DH who had his own home at 24,has some savings and no debts apart from our mortgage. We sorted out my finances and I got a consolidation loan. I have used my card occasionally but pay it all off.

What I am excited by is that on Friday my Loan will come to and end and I will be free of debt apart from the mortgage. I will actually be able to build some savings, I will actually have ‘fun’ money that is not credit. If anyone is in the same position it is possible to get free but it does take time. I actually want to do a wee jig of excitement....that is sad isn’t it?

WhenISnappedAndFarted Mon 25-Feb-19 21:40:09

YANBU, well done OP!

You've done an amazing job and you should be very proud of yourself. This isn't sad, this is a big thing. Clearing off that amount of money isn't easy.

LoafEater Mon 25-Feb-19 21:40:55

Not sad at all. It is a fantastic achievement and you should be very proud.

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:40:59

I will au that final payment then celebrate (without using credit card lol).

IAmNotAWitch Mon 25-Feb-19 21:41:07

Nope not sad.

Good work, you made a mistake, you learned from it, took responsibility and sorted it out.

You should be proud of yourself, you earned it.

isseywithcats Mon 25-Feb-19 21:42:06

thats not sad at all you have done really well to get out of that level of debt and realise how easy it is to get to that level of debt credit cards are too easy to get nowadays and too easy to just keep increasing the spending level on them

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:42:08

Aw thank you I am inordinately excited!

Wolfiefan Mon 25-Feb-19 21:42:51

No. That’s not sad. That’s bloody awesome. Well done you. Do your jig and enjoy the fun money!

Joopy Mon 25-Feb-19 21:42:54

That's amazing, well done

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee Mon 25-Feb-19 21:43:05

Well done, not sad at all and definetly something to be proud about!

stayathomer Mon 25-Feb-19 21:43:18

Not sad, brilliant! Congrats OP!

user1473878824 Mon 25-Feb-19 21:44:37

That’s not sad, that’s awesome! Well done!

Megs4x3 Mon 25-Feb-19 21:44:39

It’s not sad at all. Many congratulations on all your hard work. Years ago my Dad rang me all excited to tell me that he’d just made the final payment on his mortgage. Paying of a debt is HUGE. Well done! Have 🍰 :-)

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:44:47

Also ado barely use my card (emergency only) they have upped my limit twice and the loan company are sending me e-nails along the lines of ‘now your agreement is coming to an end we’d like you to have more debt!’

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:45:34

@megs4x3 I can’t wait till that day myself.

TrainSong Mon 25-Feb-19 21:46:38

That's not sad at all. It's brilliant. I got into and out of debtin my twenties and getting out (and stayng out) remains one of the things I'm most proud of in my life. One tip I was given when I was paying it all off, was to take a small percentage of what you earn each week and put it aside for fun. About 5%, ideally. So if you earn £300pw, you have £15 to spend on treats, but if you do overtime and it;s £400,then that goes up to £20. You can blow it on make up, flowers, wine etc or save it up for a few weeks for a beauty treatment or clothes you don;t need but really want. It's a brilliant method of always having a small amount to be completely frivolous with, while keeping to a strict pay-off your loans budget.

Iamneverfull Mon 25-Feb-19 21:48:48

That's not sad! That's a great feeling, well done!

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:49:54

trainsong that’s good advice. I will be saving a bit of my repayment amount. DH offered several times to give me money for it, as did my best friend but it was my debt and I should be the one who solves it.

quencher Mon 25-Feb-19 21:51:36

Well done and you deserve the excitement. Jump to your heats content. We all live and learn and this was yours.

Bodear Mon 25-Feb-19 21:53:13

That’s incredible. Well done. You should be proud so enjoy it flowers

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha Mon 25-Feb-19 21:54:38

Nothing sad about that! It's a huge achievement, which many people never manage - you have every right to feel proud of yourself.

Hohofortherobbers Mon 25-Feb-19 21:57:16

Well done OP, sorry for your difficult upbringing but you should be so proud you are treading a different path

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 21:58:43

It sometimes felt suffocating so I can understand how some people get further and further into debt. I feel so much lighter.

IwantedtobeEmmaPeel Mon 25-Feb-19 21:59:29

Well done Op, you should be excited, it's a fantastic achievement. Hope you and DH celebrate with something fizzy.

BTW if you don't want the higher limit then you can tel the credit card and ask them to lower the limit, that's what I do.

Serenity45 Mon 25-Feb-19 22:01:16

YANBU! I was a debt advisor for many years and so many people who took out consolidation loans ended up in further debt (e.g. keeping credit cards they'd cleared with the loan then running them back up again). Little jig (or full on twerkathon) definitely justified smile

artemisdubois Mon 25-Feb-19 22:01:43

That's not sad at all. It's a real achievement, and no doubt a weight off your shoulders even if you've been on top of it for a while.

Congratulations!

Redcrayonisthebest Mon 25-Feb-19 22:03:35

That's not sad at all, it's brilliant!! Well done smile

UnperfectLife Mon 25-Feb-19 22:06:54

I salute you and shall join in with your wee jig of excitement. It must have taken great strength of mind and commitment. Bask in your success, celebrate being debt free - and imagine what else you are capable of!!!!

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:07:17

serenity45 I did that and nearly fell into the hole again. I cut all my cards up and have one for emergencies only....dire emergencies and not frivolous spending unless I want insurance. I bought my wedding dress on it for insurance but had the money to pay it off immediately.

whitehorsesdonotlie Mon 25-Feb-19 22:09:07

It’s not sad at all! What a great feeling! Well done, op!

SquigglySquaw Mon 25-Feb-19 22:09:47

Not sad at all. I'm paying off my debts now, can't wait to be free. It feels like an anchor round my neck, weighing me down. Well done!

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:10:11

You are a wonderful bunch and thank you so much for letting me know i’m Not a sad bastard...looking forward to next mortgage review....writing zero on all the questions will feel really good! Cancelling the direct debit may male me squeak!!!

Cel982 Mon 25-Feb-19 22:10:46

Oh well done you, I love reading things like this!! Great achievement, be very very proud of yourself flowers

brokenup123 Mon 25-Feb-19 22:11:38

Well done op! I'll be in this situation in 6 months I hope, and I'm so excited!

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:13:25

squiggly keep going it feels amazing. DH just said I should buy something with the cash i’ll save so that everytime I look at it I think how far i’ve come. I was thinking of a Swarovski pen. There is also a watch I love but put off buying so I might save up now. I will also save for rainy days!

castielchace Mon 25-Feb-19 22:14:14

AHH that's amazing well done...you should be so proud of yourself 🙋

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:14:47

brokenuo123 oh you’ll be free by Christmas 👏🏼 well done.

Aridane Mon 25-Feb-19 22:17:01

Well done you

2018SoFarSoGreat Mon 25-Feb-19 22:24:09

Dance away! really well done. You have every right to be proud of yourself.

NunoGoncalves Mon 25-Feb-19 22:25:57

How is that "something so sad"? Becoming debt-free is a huge deal. I had a 15k loan in my twenties after consolidating debts and the monthly repayments were significant. The month I finished paying it all off I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. It was incredible!

DannyWallace Mon 25-Feb-19 22:26:24

Nothing sad about this!
Well done OP! Hope you're going to celebrate!!

Bluesrunthegame Mon 25-Feb-19 22:28:15

That's brilliant, not at all sad.

Well done!!!!

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty Mon 25-Feb-19 22:28:32

My OH didnt have the alcy father but is one of six and says they were piss poor. He had about 20K debt on his credit card but finished paying it off a few years back before we met. He earns well now and after a period of living with family to afford to save for a deposit, we bought a flat. Though Im not happy about it, hes taken out a loan to repay my parents nearly three grand, pay the two grand on his credit card and the rest towards a car hes px for which is tax exempt and runs more efficiently (and reliably) because he can afford the repayments over five years. And hes still putting some away every month. Mortgage is high and I dont work, but he feels fantastic being in control. I am keeping an eye on spending though, hes not savvy about keeping grocery shopping down etc.

Celebrate hard, OP!

MrsJayy Mon 25-Feb-19 22:28:56

No it isn't sad at all being debt free will be liberating just try and not fall back in the trap.

Jux Mon 25-Feb-19 22:31:14

Your news has made me smile! Of course it's not a sad thing to be excited about finally paying off a debt!

DH and I come to the end of a 10yr loan in the summer, and we are very happy in anticipation. Can't wait, frankly.

Congratulations grin 🍭🥂

IncrediblySadToo Mon 25-Feb-19 22:34:31

🎉🍾🥂 Congratulations!! 🍰🌷🎉

It’s not ‘sad’ at all that you’re excited and want to celebrate. It’s worth celebrating!

What is sad is the shitty parenting that didn’t prepare you for the world 😢.

I’d love to know more, but don’t say anything you don’t want to! I’d love to know how old you are now, how you got a mortgage, how much your DH helped/supported you financially and anything else really. I don’t even know you & I’m really proud of you! I hope you have people IRL (as well as your DH) telling you how great you are 🌷

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:37:42

Thank you, I also turn 40 soon so life begins and I really will celebrate well. Aw busysniping it was hard for my mum in particular as she had to use her family allowance to try to feed and clothe us and it was £11. i am very good at now not spending money as I’m scared to be skint and get back into debt 😟.

AnyFucker Mon 25-Feb-19 22:42:14

A massive well done to you

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:42:47

@incrediblysad. Our mortgage was ok as DH is a high earner, he pays more to our bills and the majority of times when we go out. He has offered to bail me out behore but that’s his savings not mine. My dad was a functioning alcoholic and didn’t actually seem to care if we ate or not. He came in pissed once on my birthday after drinking all afternoon (my mum was waiting for his as he had a lighter for my candles) ‘oh hen it’s your birthday is it? What age are you..,,7?’ Erm i was 13!

Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit Mon 25-Feb-19 22:46:28

Definitely not sad at all OP. What an amazing achievement. smile

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:49:14

Also I know we are married but he had savings before he met me and i like that buffer just in case!

IAmNotAWitch Mon 25-Feb-19 22:49:29

If you are used to living without the money that is usually going towards the debt, perhaps keep half to loosen up a little and put the other half into a savings account/on the mortgage/any other investment.

You will still feel a bit 'richer' but even a tiny amount put away each week/month adds up eventually.

Fluffyears Mon 25-Feb-19 22:50:44

‘Iamnotawitch’ that is my plan a bit saved and a bit of extra spending money.

Embarrassingstoryteller Mon 25-Feb-19 22:51:33

That's amazing OP!! I'm so glad it's working out for you and you have every reason to celebrate - woohoo!! 🥳 🎉 🎈

LellyMcKelly Mon 25-Feb-19 22:53:55

Congratulations! That’s a huge achievement and deserves a big celebration on Friday!

lovefriday Mon 25-Feb-19 23:10:00

Congratulations OP, that's huge!

Knittedfairies Mon 25-Feb-19 23:13:32

Brilliant!

IncrediblySadToo Tue 26-Feb-19 00:32:53

I think you should buy/do something nice for you & DH.

...and you need to play this on your birthday!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=BMSIvMLtUyc

SalemShadow Tue 26-Feb-19 08:59:54

I think we are twins OP! I'm in exact
position. I'm so excited to be debt free in the Summer after being 60k in debt. I was suicidal at one point but pulled through it. I grew up poor etc and the min I got credit I spent loads of money. A lot of bad financial advice from parents. They are still encouraging me to go back into debt. They owe a lot of money on a pension. I've learned lessons and raising my kids more financially aware. In the Summer I won't owe a pound! Bar the mortgage. Let's celebrate. I'm nearly 39. 🎉

lmusic87 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:16:23

Well done!

Fluffyears Tue 26-Feb-19 09:20:55

@salemshadow, wow £60k well done on getting that paid. I can’t wait to not worry about birthdays, the car breaking or unexpected expenses (like £80 at the dentist last week 😢😖). I’m going to save a buffer. DH paid the dentist bill for me as although i’m Surviving I am just keeping my head above water. Once those repayments are gone i’ll be able to save for rainy days.

TrainSong Tue 26-Feb-19 09:24:56

Fluff, I've never been in debt since my twenties. (Now mid fifties) I've accidentally been overdrawn about three times since then and sorted it within 24 hours. It's such a freedom to know your income is YOURS to do what you need and want with.

I have no store cards. I have a credit card I never use except for big one off payments online to protect the payment (eg flights/holidays.) For day to day life I only have a debit card or cash.

Halloumimuffin Tue 26-Feb-19 09:26:53

Congratulations! Get yourself a treat then enjoy your new savings. I know how exciting it is to become debt free!

CuppaSarah Tue 26-Feb-19 09:33:52

We're two years and 4 months away from paying off our consolidation loan! Hoping it'll be closer to two years now I've managed to find a job that works around childcare. I cannot wait for that day!!

I'm so happy for you, you will value and enjoy every extra penny you have so much more for having had to be sensible for so long.

TeaforTwoBiscuitOrThree Tue 26-Feb-19 09:34:43

That's not sad at all! Well done you and well done for such a supportive DH. Treat yourself to a nice cuppa and a BIG piece of cake on this huge achievement!

BooksAreMyOnlyFriends Tue 26-Feb-19 09:45:04

Fantastic news op. Enjoy feeling 'free'.

Get saving now smile. You can set up separate savings accounts with your bank so you can easily move your money from your current account. I have 3 savings accounts, one for general savings, one for Christmas that gets £50 a month and one for car expenses that also gets £50 a month. I find keeping it separate helps me keep track of everything. There's nothing more satisfying than getting a bill - car insurance for example - and knowing that the money is there waiting rather than having to come out of that months income.

MSE is great for budgeting advice. It can get quite addictive.

whataremyoption Tue 26-Feb-19 09:48:49

That's not sad OP, it's fabulous. Well done you!

Fluffyears Tue 26-Feb-19 17:35:24

books I setup a wee saver account linked to my main one. I normally put £50 quid on it when. I get paid as a ‘buffer’ so if I end up skint or something comes up I do have some money.you’re right it gets quite addictive i’m Also paying attention to prices and if i’m Buying something ‘do I need it?’

Fluffyears Sun 03-Mar-19 11:12:44

And....it’s gone!

AuntieGeek Sun 03-Mar-19 11:18:37

Wonder if you'd consider doing financial education at school/after school clubs etc for parents or for teenagers. Debt is a millstone and that you've cleared it says masses about you (all v positive).

Dance hard. You've earned it. Literally!

MumW Sun 03-Mar-19 11:27:11

Well done it's not sad at all.

You grew up in an abusive environment and were unable to learn how to handle money/credit. You father showed you a cavalier approach to money - spending on what you want first without another thought to your responsibilities- so your reaction to a newly acquired CC and the easy access to money is hardly surprising.

I totally get the "my debt, my problem" but you've cleared it so now you and your DH are equal partners. Things like Dental fees should come out of joint income.

🥂🍾

llangennith Sun 03-Mar-19 11:33:45

Well donethanks

MaggieAndHopey Sun 03-Mar-19 11:35:54

I don't understand why anyone would think that is 'sad'. You've worked hard, you've paid your debts because of your hard work, of course you want to celebrate.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild Sun 03-Mar-19 12:44:06

@IAmNotAWitch sums up my feelings too

Well Done to you OP .

8FencingWire Sun 03-Mar-19 12:51:06

🎉 a huge well done, OP!

altiara Sun 03-Mar-19 12:56:08

Well done OP!!! 🥳

LoubyLou1234 Sun 03-Mar-19 13:01:10

Well done OP I was similar credit was just free money at 18. I also fell into the consultation trap! I finally paid it all of mid 30s and now have a mortgage with my partner who is so much better with money. I now save regularly and love seeing it build up. I have no credit not even a credit card.

Enjoy the feeling OP it's brilliant and certainly not sad!

RumbleMum Sun 03-Mar-19 13:04:06

That's amazing OP! You should be as proud as you are excited. Massive well done.

hellswelshy Sun 03-Mar-19 13:04:25

Well done op! Having been in a very similar position myself until last year, I totally understand. You cannot imagine the peace and relief I felt after making the final payment! It's a hard lesson to learn, one started in my 20s and took nearly 15 years to end. Enjoy the joy op grin

Fluffyears Mon 04-Mar-19 00:44:43

Oh my it seems I’m certainly not the only one. I wish i’d Known at 19 what I do now...this should be taught at school as I had no idea how Interest and borrowing really worked.

Candymay Mon 04-Mar-19 08:04:47

That’s really fantastic! Well done for taking control. You’ve been able to see why you got into debt which is actually very interesting in itself. This happened to my sister and I have never fully thought about why she may have done this with credit. I’ve always thought she is just foolish with money (harsh I know) but I’m now thinking about it in a different light. Anyway- well done with your finances and this is a huge reason to feel great about yourself! Not something sad at all!

ToastyFingers Mon 04-Mar-19 10:46:12

That's not sad at all, it's brilliant! I had the same sort of upbringing as you and (fingers crossed) I'll be debt free within the next 18 months. Woo-hoo!

TrainSong Mon 04-Mar-19 12:25:29

this should be taught at school as I had no idea how Interest and borrowing really worked.

OP, so true. Maths lessons should be about practical application o fuseful arithmetic. Work out how compound interest works. Work out which mortgage is cheaper short and long term etc. Even how much paint per wall is needed and how much will it cost.

Rockmysocks Mon 04-Mar-19 13:38:28

Absolutely well done! Enjoy being free! Massive congratulations!

Hyrana Mon 04-Mar-19 14:34:42

Lovely story OP, well done! Enjoy being debt free it is a wonderful feeling flowers

Fluffyears Mon 04-Mar-19 21:12:59

@toastyfingers good luck it’s such a good feeling. I was such a naive borrower thinking ‘oh it’s £5 a month not realising that was the minimum and there was interest and compound interest applied. I really think we should be taught financial management at school. At least if you got into debt then you aren’t walking in blindly lured by being able to finally buy whatever you want (I don’t even have much to show for it all).

Foslady Mon 04-Mar-19 21:43:31

So chuffed for you - brilliant news!

TressiliansStone Mon 04-Mar-19 21:58:24

Ah that's fantastic, Fluffyears. Congratulations! thanks

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