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To be annoyed at strangers touching my baby

(37 Posts)
lboogy Mon 25-Feb-19 20:25:59

It happens every so often that strangers want to touch or hold my baby and coo over her
-I was at the airport and the airport worker asked to hold my baby
-at a mums and baby group, the lady even asked to take a photo of my bubba!
- I went to give blood and one of the blood draw people came up and started stroking dc's hand and cheek
- on the bus even

I don't get it. I wouldn't dream of doing something like this. If you're someone who does touch strangers' babies, why do you do it? Doesn't it occurred to you that It's inappropriate?

Jebuschristchocolatebar Mon 25-Feb-19 20:46:19

I have never minded anyone holding my babies. You sound precious.

GreatDuckCookery6211 Mon 25-Feb-19 20:49:38

Inappropriate?

WorraLiberty Mon 25-Feb-19 20:51:59

It's never bothered me as long as the person's clean and my babies have been happy to be held.

It's nice to spread a bit of happiness.

VelvetPineapple Mon 25-Feb-19 20:52:02

I’m not keen on people touching my baby and passing on germs. I avoid it if possible. It’s totally normal and happens a lot though. What isn’t normal is someone asking to hold a stranger’s baby! I’d have said no and scarpered.

smallereveryday Mon 25-Feb-19 20:53:29

I think you need to get over yourself. Once they top being cute people will be on here complaining they can't have a coffee in peace without toddlers squawking around them.

People are simply Trying to be nice.

Guineapiglet345 Mon 25-Feb-19 20:53:33

You’re not alone, I never liked strangers touching my baby and I only touch babies when I know the parent and even then I wouldn’t pick them up without a good reason to. I don’t think it’s precious at all, I wouldn’t want a stranger touching me and when they’re so little a baby is like an extension of yourself.

MorskieOko Mon 25-Feb-19 20:55:03

People like little babies. Mine had a huge amount of fuss made, old ladies in the street etc. Then suddenly they turn into snotty nosed toddlers who do loud screaming etc and suddenly everyone is not so keen wink

ScatteredMama82 Mon 25-Feb-19 20:55:05

I'm with you OP - I detested strangers touching my babies. They always go for the face, I have no idea if their hands are clean. I hated it so in my opinion YANBU at all. You wouldn't expect someone to walk up and start stroking your face, so why do people think it's ok to do it to babies?

Ohtherewearethen Mon 25-Feb-19 20:56:03

Yes I agree! I've been saying this since having my baby. I'd admire someone's baby and comment on how bonny they are of course but I would never just touch or stroke them.The worst I had was when I was packing/paying for shopping and my tiny baby started crying in the trolley. A lady walking past the checkouts at the time came over and started undoing the strap on the baby seat on the trolley saying "she just wants a cuddle". My heart stopped for a split second! Of course I think it's lovely when people say nice things about my baby and they have the best of intentions but I really would rather strangers not try to pick up/touch her!

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue Mon 25-Feb-19 20:56:26

“Bubba”? hmm

RogueV Mon 25-Feb-19 20:58:44

YANBU!

I hate people touxhinf my newborn too.
Went shopping the other day and a grubby toddler was literally climbing into my pram trying to touch my baby whilst the parents just stood there.

Justheretogiveaviewfrommyworld Mon 25-Feb-19 20:59:08

I don't get what you find so terrible OP, surely, it's nice for you to interact with adults and be told your baby is adorable?! Most people who say give us a cuddle, or whatever, don't actually mean hand over your baby. Mostly, they are encouraging you as a mum.

SherlockSays Mon 25-Feb-19 21:01:11

YABU for saying the word 'bubba' hmm most baby groups take photos for advertising purposes - just ask them not to next time if it bothers you?

Shelbybear Mon 25-Feb-19 21:02:43

I don't like it either I find it very strange. They seem nice enough ppl but you just shouldn't and it makes me a bit uncomfortable.

I don't mind them chatting to her etc but no to touching her hand or face, just back off!

BarrytheFatcat Mon 25-Feb-19 21:05:52

A lot of people come up to me when I'm out with my 3 month old DD, I take it as a compliment. You too must have a cute baby!

Treaclesweet Mon 25-Feb-19 23:08:39

YANBU it drives me up the wall. I would never touch a stranger so why is it ok to touch a baby?!

SemperIdem Mon 25-Feb-19 23:17:22

I’d rather a stranger touched my baby’s face than their hands. They put their hands in their mouth.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 25-Feb-19 23:20:47

I coo at and cuddle puppies and kittens insteadgrin

Awwlookatmybabyspider Mon 25-Feb-19 23:21:45

Oh and not to mention baby Spiders.winkgrin

ethelfleda Tue 26-Feb-19 00:18:05

I thought it would annoy me too, OP but I ended up bursting with pride when out and about with DS. To be fair, even now (he is 16 months old) we get stopped often with people wanting to coo over him because he is insanely adorable and very handsome smile (I may be a little biased)

You shouldn’t have had such a cute baby wink

I will say though I have never done this to anyone else and wouldn’t dream of it! But I did, and still do, like seeing the smiles that he puts on people’s faces and I am usually a cynical grumpy sod.

PuzzlingPuzzle Tue 26-Feb-19 00:31:40

I was at the airport and the airport worker asked to hold my baby
Were they trying to be helpful? So you could sort your bags out or get frisked at security? It seems a bit out of context that an airport worker would just ask to hold your child.

at a mums and baby group, the lady even asked to take a photo of my bubba! Marketing for the group? Another parent and their child was also in the photo? I’m sure your baby is cute and all but I can’t imagine a random stranger wanting a picture of them.

I went to give blood and one of the blood draw people came up and started stroking dc's hand and cheek
So a medical professional?! That isn’t that weird, I’m sure they were just being friendly.

on the bus even
This one I’m with you on, I would not want a random on a probably dirty public bus touching my baby!

For the most part I think you’re maybe being a little bit precious. Maybe invest in a personalised onesie that says ‘don’t touch’ grin

iwunderwhy Tue 26-Feb-19 01:12:14

Totally agree with you and I'm shocked that the people on here don't get it. Whether it's strangers touching your pregnant tum, or your boss stroking your bum just because he feels like it, non-consensual touching of women and kids isn't on. Its 2019 and it's time people got it !!!!

MumOfOne92 Tue 26-Feb-19 01:23:14

Mum's at baby groups yes, any other kibd of stranger - no, no and no.

My stepsister was telling me how her boss had someone try and help him off a train a few years ago. Said stranger offered to help take the pushchair of the train whilst he took the bags off of the train, the stranger legged it with the pushchair with the young child in it! Safe to say the father caught up with him!

CheshireChat Tue 26-Feb-19 02:45:35

Not ok with random strangers, I'd have down with the other scenarios, I was mostly worried about whooping cough as there was an outbreak when DS was tiny and I wasn't able to have the vaccine in pregnancy.

PregnantSea Tue 26-Feb-19 02:47:20

Your mummy instinct is kicking in, it's normal. But it's also normal for people to interact with your baby. People love babies. Try to relax.

SamStephens Tue 26-Feb-19 02:53:54

I don’t mind people asking because I can say no politely. I loathe people who take it upon themselves to just do it regardless. They’re strangers, who knows what risks they pose!

I remember when my daughter was maybe 8 weeks old and mum and I went shopping, baby fell asleep in the pram (finally!!) so I put the hood down, Mum took her to the chemist while I went to the bathroom and Mum turns her back for two seconds to pay for her script and suddenly my daughter is wailing because an old lady took it upon herself to lift the pram hood and start touching my daughter - waking her in the process! My mum isn’t confrontational so was taken aback but didn’t say anything, I’m fairly certain if it had been me, I’d have lost my shit.

enidalton Tue 26-Feb-19 03:00:33

Never worried about germs with my two, more they come into contact with when they're younger, the better they'll be able to fight them off in later life (within reason).

I always think the more interaction they got with people the better. My DD loved anyone and everyone. I could of left her with the homeless lady at the bus stop and she would of thought it was great! Till she needed feeding anyway! I think different interactions can rarely be a bad thing.

SchnitzelVonCrum Tue 26-Feb-19 06:48:08

@WorraLiberty how do you judge if someone's ’clean’ before they do?!? What do you say if you judge them to be not?? Happiness yes, germs no. You can't see germs!!!!

SchnitzelVonCrum Tue 26-Feb-19 06:52:27

Touching other strangers babies and children is NOT OK!! WTAF. OP this drives me bananas as well. Interacting is fine but you can interact without touching. I don’t like anyone but me/DH and close family touching my baby’s hands or face, how do you know where they've been!! And asking to take a photo is just odd.

Damntheman Tue 26-Feb-19 11:09:26

Germs never worried me much, but touching without consent is a worrisome trend. I never touch without asking first and usually wouldn't ask unless the child and parent were known to me already.

That said, I would offer to help/hold baby/hold bags/distract toddler if a mother looks overwhelmed with too much stuff or too many children.

littlemeitslyn Tue 26-Feb-19 12:17:02

YBU to say 'bubba'

flirtygirl Tue 26-Feb-19 12:39:26

I would not be OK with random a touching my people, I often stop and admire cute babies and say Hi but there is no need to touch them.

I pull not be happy with the blood worker in particular or any hospital worker touching them. Too many germs and lots of these people are very lax, whenever I have an appointment I people watch and people in general are pretty gross with hygiene. Hence the spread of colds etc.

Those saying the op is being precious are being ridiculous. Why should the op expect to have her baby touched by all and sundry?

flirtygirl Tue 26-Feb-19 12:40:07

And asking for a photo wtf ??

Thesearmsofmine Tue 26-Feb-19 12:44:04

This kind of thing has never really bothered me. It’s good for babies to be interacting with others as long as they aren’t filthy.

I always chatter to babies, wave at them etc, I don’t touch though,

TwoRoundabouts Tue 26-Feb-19 12:44:14

You are being precious.

KeptTheBeachesShipwreckFree Tue 26-Feb-19 12:55:03

I used to love people cooing over my babies! So long as they weren't licking them or whatever I didn't mind them touching my babies either. They're 7&8 now and strangers probably just find them annoying and loud now (they're not, they're actually lovely but I'm biased) so this stage doesn't last long.

People have survived having their hands and faces touched or stroked or even being held as babies by strangers for thousands of years.

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