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Not to want to work full time?

(8 Posts)
Runnerduck34 Mon 25-Feb-19 11:43:51

Apologies for long post- don’t want to drip feed!
I currently work 3 days a week and it’s a good balance. I have 4 DC and a menagerie of animals so the two days I have off are pretty full with household chores, gardening, juggling kids activities etc.
I’ve applied for a full time role after a restructure at work, my current part time role still exists but is changing and it is not going in a direction that I am happy with so I thought it maybe a good time to change jobs.
However I’m apprehensive about working full time. My youngest DC has just started secondary school, so in theory it should be fine except we live in an isolated rural local location with no public transport - I need to drive/ collect them from the nearest bus stop 3 miles away to get them to and from school. If I go full time they will need hang around after school for an hour before I can pick them up not ideal but probably doable.
What I’m really concerned about is the school holidays, I will be out for a minimum of 10 hours a day and they will housebound as they cannot get out unless someone drives them to the bus stop or takes them to town. We have no family/GP to help out. I think that would make their school holidays for my younger two pretty miserable and I am also concerned about what would happen in an emergency as we have no nearby neighbours they can call on.
My eldest two DC are off to uni in September so me going full time will be a big help financially -their maintenance loan won’t cover the full rent for halls let alone food. But, I think, it would be better for my younger two DC if I stay part time. It may also be better for my sanity as I will inevitably spend all weekend cleaning, washing, ironing, gardening etc etc.
DH hasn’t really offered an opinion either way, ATM weekends are fairly free and DH spends a lot of the weekend doing sport/training. I’m ok( ish !) with this as I only work part time but if I go fulltime he’s going to have to muck in more and TBH I think that’s going to cause a few rows as he won’t care or notice if the house is a tip.
I keep going round in circles with this and changing my mind about the best thing to do, help!- all opinions welcome!

Noalarmsandnosurprises Mon 25-Feb-19 13:02:20

None of us can answer this because there are so many variables!

If you’re after personal experiences, I worked 3 days a week when my kids were pre- school age but am very glad I went full time when the youngest was 4. My pension would be pretty rubbish if I hadn’t. Plus better career progression with full time. But then I would never have put up with dh expecting me to do more than my share of housework with both of us working full time. If your current job is moving in a direction you’re not very happy with then it’s a good time to take a look around

daisypond Mon 25-Feb-19 13:18:57

I think you should break the problems down into separate areas and see what solutions there are. So, eg, driving to and picking up from the bus stop. Could your DS walk there? Three miles is about 45 minutes. Get a scooter that he could maybe take on the bus? Could you get a taxi firm to do regular drop-offs, pick-ups? Is your route to work near his school? Could you drop him there, or partway there?

CheshireChat Mon 25-Feb-19 13:27:36

And you need to tell your DH that if you go full time he needs to cut back on his hobby straight away. Also maybe sort out a cleaning rota.

Something will need to be done about school holidays, any clubs about? Or you and DH take holidays separately so you're available for them.

Settlersofcatan Mon 25-Feb-19 13:29:24

Can you move somewhere less isolated?

Di11y Mon 25-Feb-19 13:34:27

I'd wonder whether you could ask to reduce to 4.5 days and use the half day to shorten your day?

And during the holidays can't you and dh split the holidays so you're around?

presume you couldn't work from home sometimes and that would make things much easier.

Runnerduck34 Mon 25-Feb-19 14:50:31

Thanks for your replies,
Yes there are too many variables which is why my head is spinning!
I was interested to see what other peoples experiences are.

Working FT would definitely improve my pension and probably my career prospects.

Sadly this role will be less flexible than my current one so no working from home.

Will see if a taxi could take DC from bus stop to home, the road to bus stop is a country road with no pavement , street lights and several blind spots -there have been 3 fatalities on the road so walking/biking/using a scooter isn't a safe option.

The holidays worry me the most, as kids get older holiday clubs don't cater for their age group and they wouldn't want to go anyway. Me and DH split leave during the holidays at the moment, but neither of us have a generous annual leave allowance (24 days plus BH)so it doesn't stretch far over school holidays.-and we do like some time off together! He can work from home sometimes thou so that would help.
Would definitely need a cleaning rota! But DH will say things like "I never ask you to unload dishwasher"and accuse me of being controlling so it will be a battle.
I will also investigate a getting cleaner.
One of the advantages to going FT would be to use the extra money to help older DC through uni but if most of it goes on cleaner, taxis , dog walkers etc we may not end up much better off.
Moving house is something I've thought of but we love our house and have lots of space. The houses in town are more expensive so we would get a lot less house for our money (and we'd still need 4 bedrooms )

CheshireChat Mon 25-Feb-19 15:04:25

That's why you need a rota and a discussion that it needs adhering to, whether he thinks the chore needs doing or not, though obviously he needs to have some input when drawing it up.

Also, as much as possible put him in charge of stuff that'll impact on him if not done- so he has kitchen cleaning, the dishwasher and cooking on a Thursday, if he doesn't do one of them it's him that'll struggle.

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