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What to do with weekend off from children (single parent)

(22 Posts)
nowheretorunorhide Mon 25-Feb-19 09:43:28

Not really AIBU, but unsure where to post. What do single parents do with their weekends childfree? I recently became a single parent and my children go to their dad every other weekend. I am totally at a loss of what to do on these weekends. All my friends are married with young children so aren't available much and my life has revolved around my children for the last 7 years. Also I am interested dating again, but in no rush to settle. I'm thinking more just meeting new people in general (friendships too) and if anything becomes of it then its a bonus. I am 31 years old and have a limited budget.

Hunter037 Mon 25-Feb-19 09:51:20

First of all I would be having a nice long lie in 😉

Do you have any particular hobbies or interests? You could join an exercise class, a craft class or sports team

barefaced Mon 25-Feb-19 09:52:19

I'd do some exercise, go for brunch, an art gallery, sit somewhere nice to read a book and then take a long bath with a glass of wine, followed by an easy dinner and lots of snacks!

SleepingStandingUp Mon 25-Feb-19 09:54:11

Sleep. Long bath. Coffee shop and a book. Whatever floats your boat really. Get drunk.

Classes etc tend to be weekly but you could have a look what's about that is maybe monthly?

You could get in something like POF that's free and book dates for your free days if you want to date?

MumUnderTheMoon Mon 25-Feb-19 09:55:49

I would go to the cinema and head out for a drink after. I often do this on my own the last time I went to a karaoke night at a local gay bar. I was "adopted" into a group quite quickly it was a great night.

nowheretorunorhide Mon 25-Feb-19 10:25:41

I'm really not used to doing stuff on my own. It will be strange for me, i'm sure ill get used to it though. I find my anxiety gets the best of me and I end up staying in for the whole day instead.

pumpastrotter Mon 25-Feb-19 10:36:04

Lie ins! Get a haircut, facial or a massage (groupon is great for cheap treatments). Shopping without children is bliss, even if it's just window shopping around town, eat whatever food you want, go to the cinema by yourself, decorate the house, go hiking or to galleries and museums if you're into that. Last time I had a totally free weekend I got a cheap train into London and went to some galleries I've been desperate to go to. Your friends might be married/have children but put it out there to them if they have a free evening to make plans in advance, even if it's just a few drinks down the pub or put on a spread at yours.

GlossyTaco Mon 25-Feb-19 10:45:20

Catch up on sleep , read , take up a sport/join a gym , go to the cinema , a leisurely coffee while people watching , get a Netflix free trial... basically , enjoy.

You get used to doing things by yourself on those weekends , I actually have very fond memories of my time as a single parent and really learned to enjoy my own company.

MammaMia19 Mon 25-Feb-19 10:50:50

I'm recently single, same age and situation. I have a nice long lay in, catch up on cleaning/tidying, really enjoy the peace and quiet! My favourite thing to do is sit in absolute silence! Shopping. I haven't got many friends but have planned lots of things with them and my mum. Some of it is quite far away but it's giving me things to look forward to

Fabulousinmyforties Mon 25-Feb-19 11:00:12

I sympathise, as I still find it a bit weird when my children go to see their dad for the weekend - its only once every 6 weeks for us, but even so it is such a change from our daily routine, that I feel lost without them. I've been a single parent for 4 years now.

When the children are away, I always make at least one plan in advance - I have one single friend, who I will plan to see, but if not I'll make plans to pop over to my sisters house for dinner, or to see friends who are in couples, at their own houses. I think the husbands find it a bit weird to start with as they don't have a male to chat to, but they get used to it. I change who I see all the time so it's not too much pressure on them though.

I also book an exercise class and pay in advance - I am not a member of a gym but there are a few local classes that can be booked online. This gets me out for a bit and really clears my mind. It is nice to go to the same classes each time and build up some small friendships there as well.

Then I will usually also book a haircut, I take a book to the hairdressers and read uninterrupted for ages, and I also chat to the hairdresser as she is lovely.

Other things - I get the food shop done and make sure house is tidy so I am not running around again when they are back home.

I make a list of small jobs during the week, and leave the list to do when the children are away - this week I had to drop a bag to the charity shop, and take some stuff to the local dump. My car headlight has stopped working, so I also went to buy a new one, and then worked out how to fit it in myself (youtube!).

I find the evenings quite lonely, so if I am not going out I usually watch a film till late and then I am ready for bed, or read my book in bed.

I also catch up on sleep.

I can't say its perfect or that I really enjoy it, but a lot of it is just about keeping yourself busy so time passes.

Fabulousinmyforties Mon 25-Feb-19 11:01:55

I'm really not used to doing stuff on my own. It will be strange for me, i'm sure ill get used to it though. I find my anxiety gets the best of me and I end up staying in for the whole day instead.

Please do try to tackle your anxiety if you can. I got myself some CBT therapy and it really, really helped.

HolidayQ Mon 25-Feb-19 11:06:03

Relax! my childrens father is absent I would kill for my weekends free 😩

nowheretorunorhide Mon 25-Feb-19 11:07:00

I think I really need to learn to enjoy my own company after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship (well still in the process, but getting there). I haven't really been single for more than a few weeks since I was 19 years old! The thing is i'm not even sure what I enjoy. My friends have been great and we've met for dinner and drinks a few times, whilst i'm sorting out finding a new home for me and the kids. I've looked into doing the park run.

GlossyTaco Mon 25-Feb-19 11:14:23

Park run is a great idea. I signed up for several 5k fun runs when I became a single parent. I was the fittest I'd ever been , and it's brilliant for your mental health too.

I was in an abusive relationship too op , the peace and silence is difficult at first isn't it? I also didn't know who I was when I was newly single , it takes a while to work through everything.

BlueSkiesLies Mon 25-Feb-19 11:15:14

There was about an 8 page thread on this, at the weekend.

czechitout Mon 25-Feb-19 11:24:19

When I face some time on my own - usually an afternoon - I usually make a very long list of 'what I'd love to do' (that I would need month to do it all) and then, when everybody's off, I spend time thinking where to start. And I end up not doing enought 'what I'd love' and I was frustrated smile

I your situation I would say just relax. You'll see what will come to your mind at the moment - either go out, read a book, watch TV. If at the end you'll think you should have done something else, you'll be able to catch up in two weeks. Enjoy.

MissB83 Mon 25-Feb-19 11:27:29

I don't get weekends to myself as a single parent! But if I did (oh the dream!!!!)

2 x big lie ins on Saturday and Sunday
Go for a run one day and yoga the next
2 x big home made brunches (pancakes on one day and maybe shakshuka on the next)
Watch at least one film
Try to catch up with at least one friend
Go to church
Watch some appallingly bad TV
Do some crafting
Play my piano
Go to a free gallery or museum
Do some tidying up at home
Browse around the shops if I need anything
Cook something for dinner that is more elaborate than I get time for with my DS around!

MissB83 Mon 25-Feb-19 11:28:13

Ooh also would do some beauty treatments at home: long bath, hair mask, skin mask, manicure, pedicure... lots of pampering

nowheretorunorhide Mon 25-Feb-19 12:12:43

I love all these ideas. I'm honestly so excited to find my own home with my kids and be away from this hell. It's so scary, but I'm sure it will be lovely to do all these things once i'm used to it. I think the silence will take some getting used to, but at least I won't be being told what to do anymore.

isittheholidaysyet Mon 25-Feb-19 12:18:24

I'm not in that situation, but I can imagine doing the some of the following...

Sleep, bath, tv, movies, reading.
Catching up on myself, tidying, housework, shopping, batch cooking, sorting out the playroom etc.
Clothes shopping for me.
Visiting places I want to visit but my kids would hate (world war 2 museums?)
Visiting friends who live a distance away and can't house all my kids for a visit.

If I exhausted all that, then studying something new.

Tbh, sleep and TV!

nowheretorunorhide Tue 26-Feb-19 10:23:02

I can't wait to have a messy corner in my room again without being shouted out. Also looking forward to eating meals when I feel like it and buying what food I want for the house.

GlossyTaco Tue 26-Feb-19 13:26:16

You'll make a lovely home for yourself and your children op. You'll love it so much that you'll only let a new partner into your life if you are truly ready and if they are really deserving of your time.

To the futurebrew

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