Advanced search

To think that TV chefs don't get the point of takeaways?

(121 Posts)
AnguasDogCollar Sun 24-Feb-19 18:52:39

Every celebrity chef, cookbook author and blogger seems to do it at some point. The compulsory "make your own takeaway!" episode/chapter/blog. Recipes for curry, sweet and sour chicken, your own hand battered fish and chips. The reasons vary "So much CHEAPER" "So much HEALTHIER" "So much TASTIER" "So much QUICKER".

This shouldn't irritate me so much but it does. I know how to make a bloody curry. But if I don't have any food in then no, it's not quicker to go to the shop, buy all the ingredients, make it from scratch, and wash everything up afterwards.

Sometimes, people just don't feel like cooking. They're ill. They just spent ages cleaning their kitchen and can't face messing it up again. They had a rough day and are knackered. So cooking the same thing isn't going to serve the same purpose of NOT COOKING! Why do none of them seem to grasp this?!

(The exception to this is Nigella, who once did an episode where she got chips from the chippie. And put them in a wrap with hummous, but still...)

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Tue 26-Feb-19 19:54:03

I worked in a pizza takeaway when I was a student. The owner made all the dough from scratch every day, getting up in the night to do whatever it is you do to dough.

The cheese and sauces were all fresh, and all the vegetables from the market.

And all done in a proper pizza oven. I don't think that's unhealthy.

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 19:51:10

MitziK. Perfectly put. Glad to find am not alone.

Grumpbum123 Tue 26-Feb-19 19:24:47

Love a takeaway occasionally but I’m obsessed with the food hygiene ratings so I do check them first

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 19:12:04

Or, do what DP does when he wants a supermarket pizza, knowing I can't stand the things -

Buy a flatbread at the same time as the pizza.

Chuck things onto it.

Put it in the oven.

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 19:10:49

If you've got a bread machine and want pizza dough,

Chuck in 5ml/a good teaspoon of yeast.

Chuck in 450g/1lb of strong white flour on top of the yeast.

Chuck in 5ml/a teaspoon of salt on top of the flour.

Chuck in 350ml of cold water.

Chuck in a glug of oil.

Switch to 'Dough', hit Start and go and do something more interesting.

When it's ready, put the oven on,
take dough out, separate into bits big enough for pizzas (individual is about a handful) and pull into a rough circle with a slight raised edge on an oiled and floured baking sheet.

Bung on some tomatoes (tinned ones less the juice are fine), some torn up bits of mozzarella and bits of ham/black olives/thinly sliced mushrooms/thinly sliced peppers/whatever. If you can be arsed, blob on some pesto or basil leaves. Don't overload it, you're putting a few bits on, not layering up a giant savoury cake.

Bung in the hot oven.

If you're short of space in there/catering for more than one hungry person, fold the pizza over so it looks like a Cornish pasty and then repeat with one next to it. Bingo - Calzones.

It's really, really easy. And, in my opinion, completely different to a takeaway pizza (which I hate).

Bbb666 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:57:43

Probably because they want people to cook and buy their books and merchandise? Not exactly rocket science

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 18:56:19

@longwayoff, no, you really aren't.

He comes across as a creepy smug git. And in his book, the way he writes about his stepmother makes it clear he was an absolutely detestable little twerp from a young age, so it's clearly not just the wanky soft focus camerawork and his simpering voice for camera that creates the effect of him being in dire need of an attitude adjustment with a frozen, organically farmed, washed by the tears of thousand Mermaids, leg of lamb he just happens to have knocking around in the back of the fridge on a wet Tuesday afternoon in January where mere mortals have the remains of half a cucumber and the drippings from a big pot of yoghurt.

Mugglemom Tue 26-Feb-19 15:38:08

I always get annoyed when they do this on Eat Well For Less. Like, yeah, you can save money by making it at home, but it completely defeats the point.

Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 14:01:37


Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 14:00:06

He was asked why he cooked watercress soup and fish and he said it was on the taster menu of his new restaurant. The poor kids of the family were really polite as they ate it and said it was nice.

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 13:55:44

And I will never make a curry as delicious as a take away. I've tried often enough.

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 13:50:44

Surely it's not just me that itches to slap smug Nigel Slater?

LaurieMarlow Tue 26-Feb-19 13:43:27

watercress soup and pan fried fish

I presume that’s just the recipe he wanted to cook, shoe horned into the ‘theme’. They’ll do anything to fill airtime these days.

AnguasDogCollar Tue 26-Feb-19 13:35:13

watercress soup and pan fried fish Jesus. I mean, apart from the fact that that bears no resemblance to any takeaway I've ever had, how do those two things even go together?

justmyview Tue 26-Feb-19 13:28:43

Thanks @purpleweasel, not sure our food processor has a dough hook, but we do have a bread machine

Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 13:28:33

On Granada news they have a spot where a chef cooks something which is supposed to replace a takeaway. The chef Aiden Byrne cooked a family watercress soup and pan fried fish. It was ridiculous.

purpleweasel Tue 26-Feb-19 13:18:31

@justmyview if you have a bread machine you can get it to mix, knead & prove the dough for you. My Mum used to make dough in her food processor with a dough hook & it always worked well

BarbaraofSevillle Tue 26-Feb-19 12:18:32

Some people want takeaways because they like them and/or don't want to cook, but some people genuinely want to cook something themselves that is cheaper and/or healthier than a takeaway but similar in style and that's who the fakeaway recipes are aimed at.

No-one's pretending that making your own pizza or curry when you don't want to cook is a viable alternative to a takeaway.

Clutterbugsmum Tue 26-Feb-19 12:06:11

I love cooking and making my own 'fake away' Chinese and Indian food, and my love them.

But we all love a good takeaway, right down to only ordering it from certain takeaways as they are the one's we like.

Ordering an occasional take away has nothing to do with being able to cook or not and more to do with fact no one wants cook for whatever reason that day.

anniehm Tue 26-Feb-19 12:05:00

Know what you mean - we use takeaways because we couldn't be bothered to shop or the food I bought was way too healthy/complicated/needs slow cooking. I can cook better curry than the takeaway but I still order out! And even the dog get excited at the dominos man turning up (no it's not wood fired authentic Italian style, it's greasy comfort food!!!)

PBo83 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:57:30


Oh yeah, I got that...The depressing thing is, it isn't to far detached from some genuine comments.

justmyview Tue 26-Feb-19 11:44:52

Brilliant, many thanks @NunoGoncalves I will try that at the weekend

NunoGoncalves Tue 26-Feb-19 11:36:11

There's some really sanctimonious comments on this thread but this one is the best

That one was definitely a satirical post, just FYI.

PBo83 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:35:23

I came here for the sanctimonious 'holier than thou' takeaway-bashing comments and I wasn't disappointed!

NunoGoncalves Tue 26-Feb-19 11:34:55

I have a question about takeaway pizza. Do you / can you make the pizza dough in a food processor, a bit like making pastry?

You don't make the dough for a takeaway pizza – the restaurant does! grin

If you're asking about making pizza dough at home, no you wouldn't use a food processor. You just knead it with your hands, it's extremely simple. Here:

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »