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To think that TV chefs don't get the point of takeaways?

(121 Posts)
AnguasDogCollar Sun 24-Feb-19 18:52:39

Every celebrity chef, cookbook author and blogger seems to do it at some point. The compulsory "make your own takeaway!" episode/chapter/blog. Recipes for curry, sweet and sour chicken, your own hand battered fish and chips. The reasons vary "So much CHEAPER" "So much HEALTHIER" "So much TASTIER" "So much QUICKER".

This shouldn't irritate me so much but it does. I know how to make a bloody curry. But if I don't have any food in then no, it's not quicker to go to the shop, buy all the ingredients, make it from scratch, and wash everything up afterwards.

Sometimes, people just don't feel like cooking. They're ill. They just spent ages cleaning their kitchen and can't face messing it up again. They had a rough day and are knackered. So cooking the same thing isn't going to serve the same purpose of NOT COOKING! Why do none of them seem to grasp this?!

(The exception to this is Nigella, who once did an episode where she got chips from the chippie. And put them in a wrap with hummous, but still...)

StealthPolarBear Sun 24-Feb-19 18:54:52

Completely agree. I count putting a frozen pizza in the oven as cooking so preparing a take away from scratch is just... Cooking. What do they think the point is?

hidinginthenightgarden Sun 24-Feb-19 18:55:42

Having had a pie and chips from the chip shop last night I wish I had taken their advice and cooked something up. Chippy is about the only thing you can get round hear in under an hour from order to arrival. I would say they are probably right if their audience is people that have takeaways because they are lazy!

Tink1990 Sun 24-Feb-19 18:55:54

Totes agree! love ur rant! grin

ILoveMaxiBondi Sun 24-Feb-19 18:56:22

I think you’re missing the point of TV chefs grin they exist to make money. They write books, appear on TV, have columns etc to make money. They don’t give a shiny shite whether you ignore 80% of their book and just Bake the brownies once in a blue moon. They just want you to buy it in the first place.

Ribbonsonabox Sun 24-Feb-19 18:59:12

YANBU and sometimes you want something packed with grease and salt but you dont want to know actually how much of it... could never bring myself to actually put that much salt in something I made myself...
I'm happy to pay 20 quid for someone to just bring me something tasty to eat that I do not have to think about AT ALL not even to think about plates.. just eat it with my hands out the box then put the box in the bin and it's like it never happend no one needs to know

HermioneWeasley Sun 24-Feb-19 18:59:25

I agree. If I fancy a takeaway, healthy nutrition isn’t foremost in my mind.

Fatted Sun 24-Feb-19 18:59:39

Everyone is different. I know people who live off takeaways because they are idle fuckers who can't be bothered to learn how to work their oven.

Personally I save takeaways for the days when I CBA cooking, like when we've had a long day out etc. No amount of Jamie Oliver patronizing me will encourage me to go into the kitchen and cook on those occasions.

And I'm sorry, no pizza is as nice as domino's!

ChasedByBees Sun 24-Feb-19 19:02:21

Having said that, I just made a take away style meal. It was cheaper, quite easy and I couldn’t be bothered to go out and collect.

If I’m on a diet, I feel mildly virtuous if I make my own.

BlueSkiesLies Sun 24-Feb-19 19:07:03

It’s never quicker or easier. Might be healthier and cheaper.

Even a frozen pizza is more time than to get on Deliveroo app and have a Franco manca delivered.

notanothernam Sun 24-Feb-19 19:08:10

I often find its not cheaper either as I have to buy in various spices and oils I do not routinely have!

Whisky2014 Sun 24-Feb-19 19:08:56

Yup. Yanbu!

Cwenthryth Sun 24-Feb-19 19:13:58

YANBU. I don’t order takeaway because I don’t know how to cook myself. I order it because I don’t want to cook!

justasking111 Sun 24-Feb-19 19:18:27

Delia caused chefs to throw up their hands in horror with her shortcuts to making a meal. But of course she is just a woman grin

EssentialHummus Sun 24-Feb-19 19:19:37

To me, takeaway = treat. Making it myself isn't a treat.

AnguasDogCollar Sun 24-Feb-19 19:21:37

I know people who live off takeaways because they are idle fuckers who can't be bothered to learn how to work their oven

And they're not likely to want to learn how to make their own! I'm just a bit baffled as to who exactly these things are aimed at? Who gets a takeaway, then says wistfully "Oh! If only someone would show me how to make this myself! With 55 ingredients, every dish in the kitchen, taking only an hour and a half to cook after a long day at work!"

BeardedMum Sun 24-Feb-19 19:23:08

I never order take aways because I can taste all the grease and salt so I get the point they are making. Once people know how to cook, they realise their own pizza or curry is so much better.

On the days I don’t feel like cooking, I just make some pasta or a simple fish dish.

AstralTraveller Sun 24-Feb-19 19:24:42

In addition a nice thing about a takeaway is that when you get it the smell is novel and therefore it tastes that much better. This is why I like to go out to eat occasionally. I haven't already got the cooking smell up my nose and so the experience is enhanced.
A way I get around this subtle thing at home is to cook a dish one day but not eat it until the following day. Out of the fridge and warmed up and it's nicer to eat.

puppy23 Sun 24-Feb-19 19:25:36

In general YANBU - if you have a takeaway as a treat then why not give yourself the night off and enjoy. BUT I wonder if they're focusing more then the people who have this 'treat' multiple times a week?

MrsJBaptiste Sun 24-Feb-19 19:27:42

Completely agree!

My SIL says why get a takeaway when you can get lots of bits from M&S and heat them up in the oven? Because then you have to get off the sofa, heat up the oven and wait for your food to cook.

Jeez, a takeaway is all about ordering after a couple of bottles of wine and eating on the floor in the living room to us anyway

Tiptopj Sun 24-Feb-19 19:28:26

I remember watching a programme once where a 'sleb' chef came into a couples home and showed them how to make their favourite curry quicker, healthier and cheaper than a takeaway one. He did it and they agreed it tasted better but then the camera passed around what was left of their kitchen underneath a mountain of washing up. Their faces said it all lol

Zwischenwasser Sun 24-Feb-19 19:29:35

Once people know how to cook, they realise their own pizza or curry is so much better

Bullshit

I cook a fucking excellent curry, and a damgood pizza. but I Dont have Access to a tandoor to cook the meat, i haven’t marinated stuff overnight if I decide I fancy a curry right now, nor do I have a pizza oven, all of which makes a huge difference to flavour.

murmuration Sun 24-Feb-19 19:30:23

See, and also the thing about takeaways is you can order in 2-3 dishes, tailored to individuals' preferences, but then everyone gets a bit to share. Even though I know how to make lot of the things, I'm never going to whip up 3 different curries of an evening!

ALongHardWinter Sun 24-Feb-19 19:30:59

I thought it was just me who thought this! I remember my DD telling me about a visit to her MIL's,about 10 years ago. DD and her DH suggested getting a Chinese takeaway as they had been busy all day helping MIL to fix her garage roof. MIL was scandalised at this suggestion. She could make it herself for less! DD asked how long it would take her to prepare said feast. Oh,only about 2 hours. Er,no thanks we'll get a takeaway........

notanothernam Sun 24-Feb-19 19:31:01

@BeardedMum I'm a good cook (if I do say so myself) but sometimes a greasy, over salted takeaway hits the spot, I don't think that's a reflection of my cooking ability!

MilkTrayLimeBarrel Sun 24-Feb-19 19:31:39

I never eat takeaways - you certainly do not know what is in them - full of rubbishy ingredients I think. Much rather make my own food and know what I am eating.

Xmasbaby11 Sun 24-Feb-19 19:33:14

Yanbu! I do make fakeaway food sometimes and it's nice, but it's in no way a replacement for choosing various dishes that just appear without any effort. Not to mention lack of clearing up.

I think it's useful to try to cook if you feel you're having too many takeaways.

speakout Sun 24-Feb-19 19:33:55

Totally with you op.

There are very few things that raise my hackles in life but TV chefs have number one slot.

I cook meals all week for five adults.
Sometimes a takeway is justthe ticket.
For me it's the effort, planning buying a meal, clearing up afterwards.

A takeway leaves the kitchen tidy- apart from few plates.

I find TV chefs arrogant- evan the lovely Nigel Slater who seems to think that a supper can be arranged around a left over slice of brie and a few figs in a brown paper bag.
No obvious kids around and a team to wash up.

maddiemookins16mum Sun 24-Feb-19 19:37:21

I’ve never been able to do a Chinese fakeaway that tastes anything as good as our local Chinese takeaway.

exLtEveDallas Sun 24-Feb-19 19:40:04

We had a takeaway tonight. Busy day visiting, lots of socialising, driving etc. Did NOT want to come home and make dinner.

I bought Sweet and Sour Chicken, chicken curry, crispy shredded beef, mixed veg chow mein and special fried rice. It's done 3 large meals tonight and will do 2 more lunches.

NOT A CHANCE would I have made all that! At a push it would have been the S&S, rice and chow mein. A takeaway gives you the chance to mix and match more meals.

NunoGoncalves Sun 24-Feb-19 19:40:07

I have a solution! Don't read celebrity cookbooks!

NunoGoncalves Sun 24-Feb-19 19:41:44

I never eat takeaways - you certainly do not know what is in them - full of rubbishy ingredients I think. Much rather make my own food and know what I am eating

I'm guessing you never eat out either then. Must kind of suck.

AnxietyDream Sun 24-Feb-19 19:45:26

Once people know how to cook, they realise their own pizza or curry is so much better

I've tasted some lovely homemade curries and pizza, but none would ever replace my very good takeaways. You absolutely can't replicate a good takeaway (that has had hours of food prep and specialist equipment) at home in a reasonable time.

If your food is so much better than a takeaway, your takeaway must be crap.

FeedMeBooks Sun 24-Feb-19 19:46:59

YANBU Tom Kerridge is the worst offender. See www.bbc.com/food/collections/tom_kerridges_top_takeaways
Beef and blue cheese on puff pastry is nothing like a takeaway pizza and I wouldn't enjoy it. Not a gourmet grin

Feelingfullandreadytoclean Sun 24-Feb-19 19:54:13

Getting a take away here is a 20 mile round trip! No one delivers to us. It's definitely easier just to cook some pasta. We only ever get take away when we have been out and are driving home past one and it's normally warm by the time we get it home so have to reheat it anyways.

XingMing Sun 24-Feb-19 19:58:12

I don't eat out often, and have takeaway even less. I prefer to know what has gone into any meal I eat, and I'm a good cook. I don't eat out (or even have coffee out) unless it's at least as good as I could produce at home. But my coffee is Nespresso or Hormozi, and I can reproduce 90% of a chef's skills, although my plating abilities are more school dinner than fine dining.

ScottChegg Sun 24-Feb-19 20:01:20

We do sometimes get takeaways for the same reasons as anyone else. I do make them myself however, because I have three teenagers with hollow legs and sometimes I just want Chinese/curry without it costing me easily forty or fifty quid!

TV chefs won't cut it though, what do they know about takeaways? I learned to do it firstly from YouTube from people who are running takeaways! Curry from a channel called CURRYHOLIC1 (and later his ebook) and Chinese from Khoan Vong (and his blog) and the wonderful Ziang's Oriental Food Workshop YT channel. (I love them, they're a mother and son and she's as mad as a box of frogs.)

@maddiemookins16mum have a look at Ziang's! He says the reason you can't get the same taste at home is you're not using MSG, pure and simple.

RedForShort Sun 24-Feb-19 20:02:04

I always disappointed by takeaways. Certainly fancy the idea of them. When I just don't want to think about what everyone might eat and don't want to cook they are very appealing. Though id much rather go to a resturant. (Funnily enough celebrity chefs are good with people going to restaurants --preferably theirs.--)

StroppyWoman Sun 24-Feb-19 20:02:25

YANBU
I cook for 5 every day - a 13yo girl and the rest eat adult portions, and rarely agree on meals.

If we get a takeaway, everyone picks what they like and I am not making 2-5 different dishes to satisfy everyone. There's not effort, there's no washing up and it arrives at my door.

TV chefs have a point if people are ordering takeaway to compensate for not being able to cook,but most of us just want a night off, for god's sake.

bibbitybobbityyhat Sun 24-Feb-19 20:06:41

Yanbu. Of course I can make cheaper, healthier meals myself. But occasionally I don't fucking want to. Chefs and cooks piss me off generally with their over-enthusiasm. Cooking is a chore, just like any other.

SmarmyMrMime Sun 24-Feb-19 20:07:09

Just Eat is amazing. A few clicks to reorder what we had last month and no mental effort whatsoever.

I can cook fantastic healthy food, but catering for a family's likes and dislikes (DS1 in particular being frustratingly fickle), cooking around intolerances, cooking around bedtimes and activities all conspire to suck the joy out of cooking.

Too many chefs clearly don't live in dull provincial towns judging by the lists of ingredients that I've barely heard of let alone can actually buy in my local dull, provinical supermarkets.

YeOldeTrout Sun 24-Feb-19 20:13:43

I only really like take-aways when I fancy expensive fatty salty low-fibre food. Which isn't most the time, tbh. I like plain home-made high veg content meals better. It is less hassle to make it myself.

Bravelurker Sun 24-Feb-19 20:32:03

I completely agree with Ribbon, I rarely eat takeaway /ready meals so it's the one time I can treat myself without giving a fiddlers feck. Plus when my colleagues force us all to bake for charity events, I will happily buy a gorgeous cake because knowing the amount of butter and sugar that is required in a relatively simple sponge cake stresses me out and I would rather not know tbh.

MitziK Sun 24-Feb-19 20:51:12

The majority of takeaway staples are bought in bulk bags of frozen and then fried/microwaved/shoved in a pan to order. Anybody could do that - if they have access to the supermarkets catering to that particular ethnicity and have the distinctive seasonings, etc, already in the house.

Cook book chefs are trying to flog an illusion that the purchaser is 'better' in a some way than the person who doesn't want to start deep frying chicken on a Friday night - or to entertain the person who sees a meal as a specific experience to shop for, prepare and cook, rather than a case of 'what's in the fridge? Hmm, that cauli looks a bit sad and there are a couple of potatoes going wrinkly. Potato and cauliflower curry it is, then'.

I am a good cook and can do the majority of takeaway meals easily - but there is no substitute for chip shop chips and just because I can cook these things doesn't mean that I have to do it all the fucking time. So DP gets sent out twice a month for takeaway.

Princessmushroom Sun 24-Feb-19 20:55:01

You know what word I cannot bloody stand? ‘Fakeaway’

Gingerkittykat Sun 24-Feb-19 21:08:39

YABU

My favourite TV cooking series was Ching's Chinese Food in Minutes.

I always end up disappointed in take-aways, I feel guilty for spending so much and eating so many calories and fat.

I love some of the recipes from her book, once you have bought the basic spices in they last for ages and I'm happy the meals are tasty and healthier. I never deep fry so I do miss out on those things so ended up grabbing a sweet and sour pork recently.

I also love the book that teaches you how to make take-away Indian curries.

Having said that, nothing is going to get me to attempt my favourite Shish Shalshik kebab, it would cost a fortune to buy the lamb and I'd never be able to chargrill it like they do in the take away.

AnguasDogCollar Sun 24-Feb-19 21:17:05

I love Ching too. But making Chinese food, or Indian food, or whatever, isn't a valid substitute for a takeaway. It's just making Chinese food or Indian food at home- which Chinese and Indian people do without pretending it's the same as a takeaway! I'm not knocking cooking these things yourself (I make a damn good curry as it happens) but the point of takeaways is NOT cooking.

I've never seen a chef say "Here's how to make a roast! After you've done it my way, I guarantee you'll never go to a carvery again!" - I rather suspect because most of these people have restaurants and don't want to discourage eating out. But it's every bit as daft.

JennyBlueWren Sun 24-Feb-19 21:25:32

Why pick up a takeaway on your way home from a trip away and you know you've got nothing in the fridge when you could easily pop to the local butcher and grocers to select some locally sourced seasonal produce and then whip up a delicious, nutrious meal which happens to share the same name and general idea as the take away?

I can sort of see the point for the people who have never tried cooking and are living off takeaways because they don't believe they can do it but that's not why I do takeaways.

I have this idea that rather than taking people from one extreme to the other they ought to slowly work down a scale. Replace takeaways/meals out with ready meals. Replace ready meals with jar of sauce/spice blends/pre prepared stuff. Then replace that with from scratch. (and then own butchery/animal husbandry).

keepforgettingmyusername Sun 24-Feb-19 21:34:43

'Why pick up a takeaway on your way home from a trip away and you know you've got nothing in the fridge when you could easily pop to the local butcher and grocers to select some locally sourced seasonal produce and then whip up a delicious, nutrious meal which happens to share the same name and general idea as the take away?'

Is this a joke? I genuinely can't tell confused

justasking111 Sun 24-Feb-19 22:17:39

We have some good restaurants that quietly sell dishes on their menu as a takeaway. I have bought those and enjoyed them. Having said that I would rather eat a nice lunch and then have a snack at suppertime. There are a lot of specials at lunch time in many eateries two courses for reasonable prices.

NunoGoncalves Sun 24-Feb-19 23:39:18

My guess is just that it's an easy "theme" to fill up space in a book and these chefs probably get takeaways themselves pretty regularly.

XingMing Mon 25-Feb-19 21:02:05

Cooking most takeaway food from scratch is really time consuming because there's so much prep needed. It might take five minutes to cook but that doesn't mention the hour of chopping before.

Guineapiglet345 Mon 25-Feb-19 21:27:10

YANBU I always get annoyed at this, home cooked “takeaway” never tastes quite as good as from the takeaway, if I want a takeaway it’s because it’s quick and I don’t have to make any mess.

Also I don’t think it is much cheaper anyway, most things I get from the takeaway are £5 or £6 and fish and chips from our local is about £7 if it’s indian or Chinese then I always get prawns or lamb and by the time I’ve bought those from the supermarket that’s pretty much the same cost without buying the other ingredients and paying for the gas to cook it.

thecatsthecats Mon 25-Feb-19 21:29:43

My personal pet hate is when someone bangs on about "authentic" flavours not "Anglicized" versions of Indian or Chinese food etc - sod off!

I prefer my naff, greasy, salty, INAUTHENTIC takeaway curries thank you very much.

SusanWalker Mon 25-Feb-19 21:35:51

The whole point of having a takeaway is not so much not cooking, but not having to wash and tidy up. So yanbu.

AnguasDogCollar Mon 25-Feb-19 22:11:18

thecatsthecats There's something particularly smug about a white, British chef telling their predominantly white, British audience to cook something "more authentic" than the Indian takeaway, owned by an Indian family with an Indian chef.

Aroundtheworldandback Mon 25-Feb-19 22:23:46

So, so true op. Well said. Love a naughty takeaway nothing better. You can bet your last chicken korma the chefs do too.

UpAndDown89 Mon 25-Feb-19 22:36:29

Actually, vast majority of people I know usually order takeaway and don’t cook...and that’s who those programmes are aimed at. Most of my friends (late 20s/early 30s) have no idea how to cook or where to even start with some pasta or a curry...

squeekums Mon 25-Feb-19 22:39:39

Well said op

Its not always faster, cheaper or healthier. Especially if i gotta buy stuff i wouldnt normally. Not faster with the wrong appliences or having to fine chop this or that.
Plus the point of takeaway is you do nothing apart from eat and throw out the wrapping

*Once people know how to cook, they realise their own pizza or curry is so much better*
What crap. There are some nights i dont care if i could cook like a 5 star chef, i just dont wanna cook. Some nights the best tasting stuff is anything made by another, even if it bloody cereal

Mucky1 Mon 25-Feb-19 23:02:00

I own a small cafe/sandwich shop and we deliver orders. You would be amazed at the amount of deliveries we do to people's houses at lunch time.
Sundays it's all breakfasts and during the week burgers paninins and wraps 🍔

AnxietyDream Tue 26-Feb-19 09:40:28

My personal pet hate is when someone bangs on about "authentic" flavours not "Anglicized" versions of Indian or Chinese food etc - sod off!

I was just thinking this!

When I'm hankering a curry, I'm not imagining some authentic meal I've never tasted half a world away in a country I've never been to, I'm wanting the chicken tikka masala from the curry place down the road.

(I'm more than happy to try out authentic dishes another time, but not when what I want is a specific takeaway dish!)

Gatehouse77 Tue 26-Feb-19 09:56:01

I agree for the normal day-to-day.

However, we did a family cooking challenge where everyone had to make a dish for a Chinese meal - so similar to a takeaway in terms of choice. It was a great success.

DH made beef in oyster sauce
DS made crispy honey chicken
DD1 made egg fried rice
DD2 made pr belly bao buns
I made chicken chow mein

We've done similar for a Sunday tea and are planning an Indian night soon.

bigbluebus Tue 26-Feb-19 10:26:37

I've looked at a couple of local new build houses recently and commented to DH that when you account for the fact that some of the 'cupboard doors' in the kitchens are actually hiding the fridge, washing machine and dishwasher, then there is very little actual storage space for pans. crockery. food etc. DH says that's because no one cooks any more so they just need space for the microwave and a few plates!

We live a 10 mile round trip from the nearest takeaway and no one delivers so we don't bother - there's usually something in the cupboard/fridge/freezer that makes a quick something to eat and saves us a load of cash as well.

Catsandbootsandbootsandcats Tue 26-Feb-19 10:38:01

I can cook a great curry (well I think it's great and the kids agree) but sometimes just don't feel like it. So we'll get a takeaway instead. We had one at the weekend. The naan breads are much nicer from the takeaway than the supermarket shove in the oven kind. I guess I should make those myself? Though my oven is crap.

I can cook most things but I don't actually like cooking that much, so I'll happily have a takeaway if money allows.

Megan2018 Tue 26-Feb-19 10:46:05

Our local pub does takeaway - it is amazing! You can get anything off the menu in a box. But it's not the same as proper takeaway.

We can't get deliveries here - but nothing hits the spot quite like a properly greasy, highly calorific takeaway.

I would literally sell my soul for a Chinese right now. I've not had one for years as nothing local.

LaurieMarlow Tue 26-Feb-19 10:47:15

i think you’re missing the point of TV chefs grin they exist to make money. They write books, appear on TV, have columns etc to make money. They don’t give a shiny shite whether you ignore 80% of their book and just Bake the brownies once in a blue moon. They just want you to buy it in the first place.

All of this. It’s just another ruse to sell cook books. I fall for it all the time tho.blush

Having said that, there’s a time and place for both takeaway and ‘fakeaway’ or whatever terrible name they call it.

I made my own pizza last week, all from scratch and it was great. Not better than the best pizzaria in town, but better than most of the takeaway options I have. I can’t wait to do it again.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:04:28

I love to cook and make most stuff, not just meals but bread, jam, cakes etc. I even sometimes make my own butter and cheese. My husband likes to smoke food and make jerky, and my teenage son is a whizz at pizzas and buns. But we are lucky enough to also have great takeaways nearby. We can get dominos delivered within 15 minutes, or a full roast dinner, or all the usual Vietnam, Chinese, Thai, amazing fish and chips ( I live by the sea). So yes I can make a great curry or whatever, but I don’t always want to! We only indulge about once a month but I thoroughly enjoy it when I do. So YANBU!

QuirkyQuark Tue 26-Feb-19 11:20:20

There's some really sanctimonious comments on this thread but this one is the best😂

*Why pick up a takeaway on your way home from a trip away and you know you've got nothing in the fridge when you could easily pop to the local butcher and grocers to select some locally sourced seasonal produce and then whip up a delicious, nutrious meal which happens to share the same name and general idea as the take away?

I can sort of see the point for the people who have never tried cooking and are living off takeaways because they don't believe they can do it but that's not why I do takeaways.

I have this idea that rather than taking people from one extreme to the other they ought to slowly work down a scale. Replace takeaways/meals out with ready meals. Replace ready meals with jar of sauce/spice blends/pre prepared stuff. Then replace that with from scratch. (and then own butchery/animal husbandry).*

Sometimes a takeaway hits a spot than no cooked from scratch meal can. I have vast quantities of spices and dried ingredients in my cupboards but if I want a doner kebab laden with chilli sauce or a pizza, fish and chips from our local chippy then that's what I'll get. I am not going to fanny about trashing my kitchen which I do every night of the week tying to recreate what the takeaway can do for me and have a mess free kitchen grin

justmyview Tue 26-Feb-19 11:29:37

I have a question about takeaway pizza. Do you / can you make the pizza dough in a food processor, a bit like making pastry?

Siriismyonlyfriend Tue 26-Feb-19 11:29:58

I totally agree op, I’m a single parent and get sick of making everything meal, every decision about what to have every single day and if I want a takeaway it’s to make my life a little bit easier just for a night off, not to then have to shop for it and cook it like every other day

FrenchJunebug Tue 26-Feb-19 11:31:55

yabvu there is a difference between a takeaway once in a while and eating takeaway every evenings.

NunoGoncalves Tue 26-Feb-19 11:34:55

I have a question about takeaway pizza. Do you / can you make the pizza dough in a food processor, a bit like making pastry?

You don't make the dough for a takeaway pizza – the restaurant does! grin

If you're asking about making pizza dough at home, no you wouldn't use a food processor. You just knead it with your hands, it's extremely simple. Here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-KDRmOYSb0

PBo83 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:35:23

I came here for the sanctimonious 'holier than thou' takeaway-bashing comments and I wasn't disappointed!

NunoGoncalves Tue 26-Feb-19 11:36:11

There's some really sanctimonious comments on this thread but this one is the best

That one was definitely a satirical post, just FYI.

justmyview Tue 26-Feb-19 11:44:52

Brilliant, many thanks @NunoGoncalves I will try that at the weekend

PBo83 Tue 26-Feb-19 11:57:30

@NunoGoncalves

Oh yeah, I got that...The depressing thing is, it isn't to far detached from some genuine comments.

anniehm Tue 26-Feb-19 12:05:00

Know what you mean - we use takeaways because we couldn't be bothered to shop or the food I bought was way too healthy/complicated/needs slow cooking. I can cook better curry than the takeaway but I still order out! And even the dog get excited at the dominos man turning up (no it's not wood fired authentic Italian style, it's greasy comfort food!!!)

Clutterbugsmum Tue 26-Feb-19 12:06:11

I love cooking and making my own 'fake away' Chinese and Indian food, and my love them.

But we all love a good takeaway, right down to only ordering it from certain takeaways as they are the one's we like.

Ordering an occasional take away has nothing to do with being able to cook or not and more to do with fact no one wants cook for whatever reason that day.

BarbaraofSevillle Tue 26-Feb-19 12:18:32

Some people want takeaways because they like them and/or don't want to cook, but some people genuinely want to cook something themselves that is cheaper and/or healthier than a takeaway but similar in style and that's who the fakeaway recipes are aimed at.

No-one's pretending that making your own pizza or curry when you don't want to cook is a viable alternative to a takeaway.

purpleweasel Tue 26-Feb-19 13:18:31

@justmyview if you have a bread machine you can get it to mix, knead & prove the dough for you. My Mum used to make dough in her food processor with a dough hook & it always worked well

Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 13:28:33

On Granada news they have a spot where a chef cooks something which is supposed to replace a takeaway. The chef Aiden Byrne cooked a family watercress soup and pan fried fish. It was ridiculous.

justmyview Tue 26-Feb-19 13:28:43

Thanks @purpleweasel, not sure our food processor has a dough hook, but we do have a bread machine

AnguasDogCollar Tue 26-Feb-19 13:35:13

watercress soup and pan fried fish Jesus. I mean, apart from the fact that that bears no resemblance to any takeaway I've ever had, how do those two things even go together?

LaurieMarlow Tue 26-Feb-19 13:43:27

watercress soup and pan fried fish

I presume that’s just the recipe he wanted to cook, shoe horned into the ‘theme’. They’ll do anything to fill airtime these days.

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 13:50:44

Surely it's not just me that itches to slap smug Nigel Slater?

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 13:55:44

And I will never make a curry as delicious as a take away. I've tried often enough.

Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 14:00:06

He was asked why he cooked watercress soup and fish and he said it was on the taster menu of his new restaurant. The poor kids of the family were really polite as they ate it and said it was nice.

Bowchicawowow Tue 26-Feb-19 14:01:37

Here.

www.itv.com/news/granada/2019-01-18/the-north-west-chefs-helping-families-eat-healthily/

Mugglemom Tue 26-Feb-19 15:38:08

I always get annoyed when they do this on Eat Well For Less. Like, yeah, you can save money by making it at home, but it completely defeats the point.

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 18:56:19

@longwayoff, no, you really aren't.

He comes across as a creepy smug git. And in his book, the way he writes about his stepmother makes it clear he was an absolutely detestable little twerp from a young age, so it's clearly not just the wanky soft focus camerawork and his simpering voice for camera that creates the effect of him being in dire need of an attitude adjustment with a frozen, organically farmed, washed by the tears of thousand Mermaids, leg of lamb he just happens to have knocking around in the back of the fridge on a wet Tuesday afternoon in January where mere mortals have the remains of half a cucumber and the drippings from a big pot of yoghurt.

Bbb666 Tue 26-Feb-19 18:57:43

Probably because they want people to cook and buy their books and merchandise? Not exactly rocket science

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 19:10:49

If you've got a bread machine and want pizza dough,

Chuck in 5ml/a good teaspoon of yeast.

Chuck in 450g/1lb of strong white flour on top of the yeast.

Chuck in 5ml/a teaspoon of salt on top of the flour.

Chuck in 350ml of cold water.

Chuck in a glug of oil.

Switch to 'Dough', hit Start and go and do something more interesting.

When it's ready, put the oven on,
take dough out, separate into bits big enough for pizzas (individual is about a handful) and pull into a rough circle with a slight raised edge on an oiled and floured baking sheet.

Bung on some tomatoes (tinned ones less the juice are fine), some torn up bits of mozzarella and bits of ham/black olives/thinly sliced mushrooms/thinly sliced peppers/whatever. If you can be arsed, blob on some pesto or basil leaves. Don't overload it, you're putting a few bits on, not layering up a giant savoury cake.

Bung in the hot oven.

If you're short of space in there/catering for more than one hungry person, fold the pizza over so it looks like a Cornish pasty and then repeat with one next to it. Bingo - Calzones.

It's really, really easy. And, in my opinion, completely different to a takeaway pizza (which I hate).

MitziK Tue 26-Feb-19 19:12:04

Or, do what DP does when he wants a supermarket pizza, knowing I can't stand the things -

Buy a flatbread at the same time as the pizza.

Chuck things onto it.

Put it in the oven.

Grumpbum123 Tue 26-Feb-19 19:24:47

Love a takeaway occasionally but I’m obsessed with the food hygiene ratings so I do check them first

longwayoff Tue 26-Feb-19 19:51:10

MitziK. Perfectly put. Glad to find am not alone.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Tue 26-Feb-19 19:54:03

I worked in a pizza takeaway when I was a student. The owner made all the dough from scratch every day, getting up in the night to do whatever it is you do to dough.

The cheese and sauces were all fresh, and all the vegetables from the market.

And all done in a proper pizza oven. I don't think that's unhealthy.

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie Tue 26-Feb-19 19:55:48

And we have (shock horror!) a take away once a week - on Sunday nights a) because Sundays we go mountain biking and are usually out dawn til dusk and b) stupid Sunday supermarket rules mean we can't buy any food from the shops as they're shut.

BarbaraofSevillle Tue 26-Feb-19 20:00:30

I don't mind cooking, but I've decided pizza is something that's not worth the time and effort, even though I use a breadmaker.

It seems to take hours and I just hate hate hate dealing with the dough, which always goes all sticky and I just can't get thin enough.

We have some great wood fired pizza takeaways and pubs in our city so that's where I go if I want pizza. Or I get a frozen one, because I like some of them.

And if I can't be arsed doing either of those, I'll have an omelette or egg on toast or a baked potato, something that takes zero time or effort (I have perfected the optimum microwave/oven combo for the potatoes).

But I'd never get it from Domino's, Pizza Hut, Papa John's etc, because they're stupidly expensive and horrible.

keepforgettingmyusername Tue 26-Feb-19 20:03:26

@MitziK saying 'chuck in' and 'bung it in the oven' doesn't negate from the fact you have listed a long and boring process that is 10 times harder than clicking a couple of buttons and getting up to answer the door.

Picklypickles Tue 26-Feb-19 20:14:45

I dunno, where I live the takeaways are all pretty shit and none of them deliver so it probably is quicker to make it myself!! So I'm sure its useful for some people!

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