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To feel a little bit sad because someone was kind to me

(8 Posts)
biscuitsbiscuits Sun 24-Feb-19 18:33:38

Recently I plucked up the courage to approach someone I vaguely know as a bit of a mum figure and told her I needed a chat. We chatted for about 10 minutes and afterwards she hugged me and kissed my head/forehead. She was really kind to me and the moment of connection of having someone take the time to truly listen to me meant a lot to me.

But now I'm a little bit sad that I don't have someone like that in my day to day life. It's like having a little bit of it during my time with her has made me realise how much part of me is crying out for that. I never really had it growing up, my mum was great and I know she loves me, but she was quite absorbed in her own unresolved pain at times. I understood that but it left me feeling a bit lonely and starved of that kind of 'I hear you, I see you' love. Just to have that affectionate relationship with someone I could be honest with. I don't know what it is exactly but it just hurts.

Armadillostoes Sun 24-Feb-19 18:36:50

YANBU biscuitsbiscuits. It's a very human need, especially for those of us who didn't/don't have that kind of relationship with a biological mother. I hope that you find the love/connection/support you need in other relationships in your life. I understand that you haven't got this day to day at present, but that doesn't mean that you NEVER will.

biscuitsbiscuits Sun 24-Feb-19 22:03:45

Thank you @Armadillostoes flowers

I just don't know how to go about finding it. Or even admitting that I need it.

Sparklesocks Sun 24-Feb-19 22:08:43

Maybe you could do a couple of sessions of counselling, just to see if it helps to have somewhere to talk in a safe space without judgement?

GreatDuckCookery6211 Sun 24-Feb-19 22:10:20

Could you talk to this person again OP? Is there a way you could get forge a friendship with he? I’m sorry it’s made you feel sad, I hope you’re ok. Your post has touched me flowers

Emeraldshamrock Sun 24-Feb-19 22:23:01

@biscuitsbiscuits flowers
I am sorry you feel sad, she sounds like a lovely person, lots of people are, we need more random hugs, it is an intense human need Can you join something on a team or volunteer for the elderly to give them company.
I am sending you some unmumsnetty love and hugs online. smile

Ifonlyfor1day Mon 25-Feb-19 20:12:08

Make it a mission to change things for yourself. There're lots of lonely people looking for company, small steps will make a difference.
What do you like doing.

chocatoo Mon 25-Feb-19 20:34:20

Do you have children? Although its 'the other way around', when I had DD I felt that connection - my Mum is lovely but distant/reserved and I never really had that connection with her. DD has made up for it: we are very close.

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